30day challenge 1
30day challenge 2

Sometimes it takes just one single event to change your life, or your outlook on life. For me it was a (what seemed silly at the time) photo project last fall that I called “30 Days of No Repeat Outfits.” It was a personal challenge to really use all the clothes in my closet* and see how many different outfits I could come up with. I’d gotten lazy and had 3-4 favorite outfits that were easy and comfy and I just kept cycling through them. Who cared what I looked like?? I felt like I couldn’t really look good no matter *what* I did, so why make any effort at all??

30day challenge 5
30day challenge 4

Part of the project involved photographing all the outfits. Photographing ME. Me, who had managed to avoid being in pictures for a long time because it was such a shock to see myself as the world sees me – FAT. But during the project I was having to look at myself in photographs Every. Single. Day. At first it was brutal. But slowly, I got more used to seeing myself – to seeing what I really looked like. And by the end of the 30 days, I was actually looking at pictures and thinking, “hey, I look kinda cute today!” I was finally not just seeing FAT. I was seeing ME. And Fat Me can look schlubby or I can try and look cute. And Cute Fat Me is definitely an improvement over Schlubby Fat Me.

30day challenge 3
30day challenge 6

So this seemingly silly project made me able to see past the fat when I looked at myself…when I *thought* of myself. And I actually had so much fun sharing the images on Instagram that I wanted to keep doing it – and that’s how the idea of this blog was formed. It wasn’t just about the pictures and the positive comments. I’m discovering there is such a strong community of plus-sized women on the internet. It felt good to be part of a group of women who had such self-confidence – who didn’t judge themselves based on their weight but on their abilities and loving hearts and kindness and strengths. It felt empowering to be meeting these kinds of women, and I wanted to “stay in the hood,” so the blog (and the Facebook…and the Instagram!) was created.

And for those who weren’t around for The 30-Day Project…here’s a look back at the photos from the challenge…The Good, The Bad…and The Kinda Ugly, ha. Hey, we all gotta start somewhere!

*caveat: A lot of the clothes “in my closet” are not *my* clothes at all, but are from a plus-sized rental service called Gwynnie Bee. But that’s a subject for another post!

PS: GAH that’s a lot of pictures of me in one place! THAT doesn’t feel weird at all (note: sarcasm).