me and the zipper 6.16.16

Oh. I’m not afraid of the rides. I LOVE the rides. The more spinny and upside-downy the better. What *I* have been afraid of for many years, SO many years, like since my 25-year-old daughter was little, is attempting to GO on the rides, for fear that the safety bar thing will not be able to close over my fat stomach.

Earlier this week I read the post Ten Things Skinny People Don’t Worry AboutΒ over at So Not Together‘s blog and one of the things she mentions is roller coasters and how “…Lots of time I just don’t tempt fate because there is no way I’m going to sit in that tester seat with everyone walking by.” And I thought, you know what? I’m tired of being worried about tempting fate! I MISS going on the rides…and you know what else? The carnival is right around the corner this week and I’m GOING on the rides!

So this afternoon my daughter and I headed to the carnival. She optimistically bought 20 tickets. We walked around assessing things…what looked worth the tickets vs. what did I think I could fit in. Finally I just thought…it’s now or never and went up to a crazy spinny tilty up-in-the-air kind of ride….and asked the operator if he thought the bar would close over me. I was feeling very I AM FAT WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR. “No,” he said, shaking his head. Oh. Uhm. Okay Β πŸ™

I went to the next ride and asked the same question…this time I got a “maybe,” but The Child was shaking her head and walking away – not interested in that ride. Third ride…”do you think?” “Maybe, wanna try?” Yes!

And then the real mortification began. You had to sort of “jump up” (a movement not really in my physical repertoire these days) and NOT land on the bump of molded plastic designed to keep your legs in place. I was like, “uhmmm…” The operator slid a plastic milk crate under the seat for me to stand on and I proceeded to heave and shimmy and jiggle my way into the seat.

AND THEN THE BAR CAME DOWN.

Oh. No. No No. I can’t breathe. I’m in pain. Let me out.

Let. Me. Out.

And that was that. No spinny upside-down rides for me. We settled for the ferris wheel. Which was very nice, right at sunset. I enjoyed that.

But you know…I’m glad at least I TRIED. I faced the fear of embarrassment at not fitting. And I DIDN’T fit. But I MIGHT have. And I would never have known if I didn’t at least try.