Week in Review: Week 78

I really really tried to get a blog post up this week but. Work has been busy, evenings have been busy. I’m pooped. I’m sort of trembly all the time, sort of hard to explain but suffice it to say I GOT NO JUICE. But there were still a couple high points this week, so…

I got goodies from plusBKLYN !!! Look how fun their packaging is with hearts all over. I heart YOU, Alexis Krase! My favorite summer dress is from there (see below) and now I have a NEW new favorite that I will share soon!

IMG_7709

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size over 50 blogger 7.10.17 1 resized
New favorite summer dress from plusBKLYN

I’m living on the edge. Yes, I kept driving.

IMG_7722

Ooh, one of the new plusBLYN dresses, this awesome indigo tie-dye dress. Was a chilly day so I needed a cardi over, but. The boxes are encroaching.

IMG_7734

My lovely friend at work gave me these two tiny elephants. They kind of look they were sculpted out of teeth. Which makes them weirdly even more appealing.

IMG_7739

A super-sweet parent from work gave me this tropical print bandana and I’ve been waiting to wear it with this outfit. I never did really pull all my summer stuff out this year so this was buried in the winter clothes and needed a trip to the cleaners. I can’t wait to have access to a washer/dryer in the new apartment! ps, I feel like my eyebrows are disappearing 😦

IMG_7744

Me and some friends went to this wacky “movies on the river” night to see Jaws. It was an interesting way to see a movie…but wet and cold.


We’re the second row back, second raft from the left. You can’t really make out it’s us, but it is.

jaws on the river

My “new mom” raided HER mom’s scarf collection for me and they are UH-MAZING!!! Lots of vintage, touristy ones, one has dance steps on it, another nautical terms, awesome 70s colors. This was a Rome tourist scarf (it says “ROMA) and is perfect with my favorite black dress.

My sister sent me an eyebrow pencil and was like USE THIS. I rebelled for awhile but gave it a try here…and it’s good. It’s very subtle but looks like I have full eyebrows again.

See the picture hanging on the wall at photo left below? I scooped it up at an auction many years ago and have always loved her…walking along a seaside cliff, looking so JOYOUS. I always said I want to feel like her. And now, with my headscarves, I sort of LOOK like her!

IMG_7781

We made a trip to the new apartment to move everything I’ve already packed…but there are Still. So. Many. Boxes. To. Fill. This weekend is IT. I MUST finish up, no matter how trembly I feel. The week ahead is moving and chemo so I really need to get’er done!

IMG_7785

I *will* have a new blog post up this week that includes an embarrassing video of my current apartment in its current state and a throwback outfit that somehow never got blogged from way back in May!

I can’t believe “summer proper” is almost over. I hope y’all are having a good one.

xoxo Bettye

 

It’s Not All Good

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size babylon south bay theater 7.27.17 4 blogsized

So. I have to talk about The Cancer today. Through most of this time I think I’ve been pretty good at keeping my Game Face on. I am not by nature a perky, positive person. I consider myself more of a realist and prefer to face *all* things, good and bad, and not pretend bad things don’t exist. But I *have* really tried to find the good in the situation…to find some beauty along the way…small joys, blah blah blah.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size babylon south bay theater 7.27.17 2 blogsized

But yesterday I hit a brick wall. With all the rashes and diarrhea and queasiness and infections and sores and exhaustion and other joys that I have mostly kept to myself…the thing that I’m having the hardest time with is…losing my hair. I knew it was going to happen. I knew the particular chemo drugs I’m getting have that as a side effect. But I still hoped I would somehow escape it.

Nope.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size babylon south bay theater 7.27.17 5 blogsized

You know how a little hair always comes out in the shower? That’s normal. But yesterday…it just wouldn’t stop coming out. Big clumps and handfuls. And tears. Then when I tried brushing it out…it wouldn’t stop coming out. My brush was full of hair, my hands were full of hair…if I touched hair, it was coming out. I finally just wrangled it all into a messy bun and called it a day.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size babylon south bay theater 7.27.17 7 blogsized

I don’t know if it’s really noticeable yet because pulling hair back into a bun is sort of like a glorified combover (ha ha) but I’m sure in bright light it’s visible. And is only going to get worse.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size babylon south bay theater 7.27.17 6 blogsized

I’m afraid to take a shower this morning because so much more is going to come out. I’ll just wash my bangs in the sink. And hope for the best.

So I’m seriously stressing out about what I’m going to put on my head. I KNOW there are 12,000,000 options…but I don’t really see anything that looks like ME to me. I don’t feel sick, I don’t want to LOOK sick. I don’t want to look like someone ELSE. I’m not a hat person EVER – not in the winter to keep warm and not in the summer to shade my face…so this concept of having to put something on my head in the morning and leave it on All Day Long – at work, shopping, etc, just feels so awkward and foreign to me and I DON’T LIKE IT. I DON’T WANNA. WHAAAA.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size babylon south bay theater 7.27.17 8 blogsized

There. This is my time I’m allowed to be mad and sad and bitchy and complainy. I’M ALLOWED. I don’t want anyone trying to cheer me up, cuz you CAN’T. No one’s words can change the way I’m feeling. I’m terrified and angry. And I’m just gonna roll around in that for awhile.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size babylon south bay theater 7.27.17 1 blogsized

So, now that I’ve alienated half of you (ha ha), I can proceed with my outfit. I LOVE this dress. It’s by Rachel Roy via Gwynnie Bee. It’s dark dark grey and feels like velvety slinky silk. And it has this cool drapey effect on the front that hides EVERYTHING. It’s light and flowy. It’s EASY. Which is exactly what I needed yesterday.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size babylon south bay theater 7.27.17 3 blogsized

And we found the perfect location to shoot – this abandoned movie theater. Crumbly and littered…and yet even it had a little spot of wild flowers still growing. Even when I only WANT to focus on the ugly, I find some beauty. Damn it! Ha.

Free’n’Easy

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger johnny was kimono 5.27.17 5 resized

I. Love. This. Kimono. To me it represents freedom, peace, joy, beauty…EASE. Things that have been sort of missing from my life lately. I’ve been so exhausted from treatments that my only time outdoors is pretty much walking from the car to wherever I’m going…and back again later on. I’ve missed beautiful spring evenings and beach sunsets.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger johnny was kimono 5.27.17 4 resized

But this day I managed to spin a couple times…and walk in the grass barefoot…and feel a little easy and free.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger johnny was kimono 5.27.17 3 resized

Fashion can do that for you. It can transport you, make you feel like a different person or like you’re living a different kind of life. And right now I need some of that.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger johnny was kimono 5.27.17 6 resized

Do you have something special you wear when you want to feel better?

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger johnny was kimono 5.27.17 2 resized

And the good news is, I finished radiation last week…and I’m starting to feel a little more human again. Not SO exhausted all the time. Staying up past 7pm, ha.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger johnny was kimono 5.27.17 1 resized

So here’s to feeling free’n’easy…whether in spirit or style.

What I’m Wearing:

  • Johnny Was embroidered kimono via Gwynnie Bee, 3x
  • Charlotte Russe skinny jeans, size 24
  • J Jill linen blend tee, size 24

What Did I Buy?! Plus BKLYN

IMG_7155
Me, owner Alexis Krase and Marcy Cruz

It’s my last week of radiation – yay. It’s a good thing, too, cuz at this point I am beaten down. Life is pretty much work, treatment, home to lay down. But this past weekend I dragged myself up and out, picked up my buddy Marcy, and headed into Brooklyn to a new plus size boutique I’ve been seeing all over social media called Plus Bklyn.

Plus Bklyn is a funky little shop at 455 Graham Ave., Williamsburg, that caters to trendy ladies from size 14-26. Owner Alexis Krase and colleague Ivy were so charming and hospitable when we visited. We tried on bunches of fun things – there were dresses, tops, bathing suits, sunglasses, bags, jewelry and so much more!

So let’s play What Did I Buy?!

IMG_7146
Junarose, size 24
IMG_7142
Junarose, size 22
IMG_7147
Magical Unicorn dress, size 24

What do y’all think?

It’s so nice to have a new in-person plus-size shopping destination, I’ll definitely be back!

Week in Review: Weeks 64-67

Wow, I’ve essentially lost the month of May. May was the bulk of my radiation treatments – I still have seven left to go so they’re reaching a little into June as well, but hopefully I’ll be able to reclaim some of June for myself. I’ve been too tired to do much of anything, but here’s what I’ve been up to for the past few weeks.

IMG_6895

I photographed our 5k Jack’s Run for Autism up in Port Washington. It was like The Windiest Day EVER. We couldn’t hang signs or put out balloons to mark the course or anything. But the runners didn’t seem to mind. Those athletic types don’t let *anything* stop them. Respect.

IMG_6912

And then I went for my first chemo treatment. Scary. They kept referring to it as an “all day treatment.” SCARY. But in reality, it was a lot of prep, counseling, two hours of IV hydration and anti-nausea meds before and another two hours after…and the actual chemo was only one hour. But it *was* a long day of not really knowing what to expect so I had my bag well-stocked with activities, snacks, water, super soft kitty blanket, book, etc.

IMG_6919

I was anxious all day waiting to feel awful…but that really never happened. I felt *queasy* for the next week or so but never really nauseous. I will be repeating this procedure on Monday. Hopeful for same outcome.

Ugh. This dress. Not good. It went back to Gwynnie Bee immediately. You win some, you lose some.

IMG_6973

I brought some lilacs in from outside our office door. They smelled so so so so good. And I haven’t killed my succulent terrarium plants yet! Yay Me!

IMG_6976

Caleb is such a sneaky-peeker.

IMG_6977

I found a rock on the beach that looks like a heart. Or a butt. You choose.

IMG_6978

Ahhhhh. I need more of these.

IMG_6985

Don’t work too hard, Caleb.

IMG_6984

Sunrise outside my door.

IMG_6991

How fun is this beachy cake? I just looked, I did not touch.

IMG_7009

A family from the school brought me this card. They’re having their own struggles and yet they took their time to do this for me. HUGS TO YOU.

IMG_7011

My kooky kid.

IMG_7029

Her kooky mom.

IMG_7024

Sunrise out my girlfriend’s door.

IMG_7034

I dog-sat last weekend. They’re a tough pair to handle. Not.

IMG_7018

We had lots of lovely porch time.

IMG_7041

Some things never change.

IMG_7080

Ruh-roh. I killed one of the succulents. It rotted away. I think I overwatered. I put a turtle in its place. That will be harder to kill.

blr 10 1

Here is a pic of me at 10. It was part of a video I just saw for the first time, so I apologize for poor quality due to screen grab. I guess my father filmed this back in 1970? Isn’t it weird to see pictures of yourself from the past (well, duh, all pictures are from the past but you know what I mean) that you have No Recollection of? You know it’s you cuz you can SEE you, but. I have no memory of this day or this dress or even my father having a movie camera! And this is funny, in 1970 girls were not yet allowed to wear pants to school. But we were wearing dresses this short (you can’t see the groovy white Jan Brady knee socks I had on but they’re there). How did THAT make sense??

blr 10 2

For some reason this “I Am the Champion” muscle man bicep pose was my go-to photo pose around that age. Who knows. That’s my sister, cheery in yellow.

And there you have it. This month was a LOT of laying around, staying close to home. Hopefully I’ll be able to venture out a little more this month. Fingers crossed!

On another note, I have STILL not switched out my winter clothes for summer! It’s been just cool enough that I haven’t needed to. Maybe this weekend. I kind of think that was the same last sentence from my LAST Week in Review post!

xoxo Bettye

Keeping It Simple

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger 5.27.17 1 resized

I’ve been keeping my life very simple lately. Work, treatment, home. That’s pretty much every day. Sometimes during the day I THINK I will go home and accomplish One Thing – wash the dishes or sweep the floor, etc. But no. By the time I get there I’m so shot that I get almost immediately into my nightgown and head to the sofa. I’m not even reading or watching tv, I’m just…resting.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger 5.27.17 3 resized

So this kind of outfit is my mainstay right now. A simple base with something over top. Easy peasy.

This dress is so easy to wear. It’s a rayon spandex blend that’s stretchy and swingy and feels like silky cotton. The blouse is Tencel which is a drapey lightweight denimy material. Both fabrics are very comfortable to wear.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger 5.27.17 4 resized

Fashion doesn’t always have to be fussy or fancy. It can be easy and relaxed and comfortable…and that is totally my jam these days.

fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger 5.27.17 2 resized

I’m kind of liking my life like this. I feel like the beginning of the year started with so much drama that I’m enjoying this simple time. Kind of weird, right? I never feel good anymore, I’m always exhausted, but overall, life feels good. Count on me to be contrary 🙂

What I’m Wearing

Photos by Marcy of Fearlessly Just Me – thanks, Marce! Make sure you check out her blog cuz she is a  BOSS!!!

Week in Review: Week 60

IMG_6572

The week started off with consults at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center for a second opinion on my situation and treatment going forward. I’m finally learning that “consult” doesn’t mean sitting in a civilized wood-paneled office, a desk away from a doctor, tissues at hand (like on TV)…but instead “get undressed and put on this gown and the dr will SEE you in a few minutes.” I’ve learned to wear loose-fitting dresses so I can by-pass the gown (how smart am I?) but I haven’t figured out how to avoid the endless stream of EXAMS. Ugh. “Hello, I’m Dr. Smith, nice to meetcha, now skootch down and spread your legs.” Hello to you, too.

Anyway, I was pleased with both the doctors, their treatment plan was pretty different than the first place (though they both had very good explanations for why they’d do things their way), and everything moved along at a good pace. Which is very important to me as I don’t want to be spending my summer waiting in a treatment center. I want to get in, get out, and go see a sunset, thank you very much.

Final decision has not been made yet.

IMG_6593

National Sibling Day was this week. That’s me (the short one in baggy ruffled tights) and my sister (the tall pretty one who is looking very Gidget-esque).

fashion schlub plus size blog 4.11.17 3 resizedfashion schlub plus size blog 4.11.17 7 resized

Tuesday afternoon we headed down to a charter boat marina to do some blog pictures. It felt good to be out in the air and be doing a photo shoot.

IMG_6622

I wanted to show you my cute new EASY TO PUT ON sneakers but the dog wanted in the shot. I think it’s time to unmake the bed-sofa.

IMG_6618

Wednesday morning it was BACK to Sloan for a ct-scan. I drank the kool aid. I failed the test. After all the drinking, waiting, changing, trying to get an IV in me (I have tough veins), etc…they got the first picture then the two ladies came hurrying into the scan room where I was and said, “uh, hun, you still have your bra on!” Damn. I was so distracted by “where do I go next?” as I was changing into THE DREADED GOWN that I totally blanked on taking off my bra. Duh. They’d already gotten the first pic so now I couldn’t move, so I had two women, one on each side of me, trying to remove my bra without me moving. Someone should have taken a picture of THAT.

PS, the contrast dye they injected into me for the scan changed my taste buds for three days and everything tasted horrible. Someone should figure out how to market that as a weight loss aid. If eating Doritos is no more enjoyable than eating lettuce, well…

IMG_6623

There was a pretty little gifty in my grocery cart.

IMG_6635

Thursday night I worked our Adventureland event. Twice a year we rent out the amusement park and it’s closed to the general public and made available just to families of kids and adults with autism and other developmental disabilities. It. Almost. Always. Rains. or at least threatens. But this night was PERFECT and we had a TON of happy people going on rides, playing arcade games and eating cotton candy. This picture was taken as the event prior to ours was just closing out, that’s why it looks so empty.

IMG_6632

I’m a little teapot….

IMG_6644

The next morning I was verrrrry tired and was wishing I could just climb on the tuffet with Caleb and Jane instead of going to work.

IMG_6648

Got my second wind by late afternoon and picked up a friend (this is her backyard, can you even?) to go to the movies. We saw Going in Style with Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Alan Arkin. Ann Margaret was in it a bit and OHMYGOD she looks UH-MAZING. She’s 76, she looks better than I do. She looks better than MOST people do, ha. The movie was cute.

And now it’s Saturday. I have no plans. Wanna do something??