13 months ago you could not have convinced me that I would become a BTS fan/stan/army/WHATEVER and that that interest/obsession/adoration would last for A YEAR (with no signs of stopping)!

But here I am…me…who usually steers clear of “popular” things and usually looks for the things that others don’t seem to notice or appreciate…and who is REALLY not a “follower” or an “in with the in-crowd” type. Here I am, a devoted fan of arguably one of the biggest bands in the world.

 

And I’m right in there with them, listening to the music, trying to learn dance choreography, watching all the videos and shows, laughing/crying/enjoying ALL the content they put out (SO. MUCH. CONTENT.). I read blogs, watch vlogs, listen to podcasts, joined a BTS Discord (you don’t know the MEANING of the word “time suck” til you join an obsessive fan Discord, whooeey!), follow the TikToks/Instagrams/Twitter accounts, subscribe to BTS Google Alerts so I Don’t Miss A Thing.

It is a HUGE investment of time. And it is never-ending. There is No Catching Up. I follow a couple TikTok-ers who post “In Case You Missed It” type posts every day, reporting on every appearance, update, new award, new photos, new commercials, etc., that happened with BTS that day. It’s a lot.

It’s a LOT.

They’d been around for seven years when *I* discovered them. And they have been Very Smart with their use of social media and staying in front of fans and the public. So there was a LOT of content to catch up on. And every day, more. So, yeah.

And as much as I adore THEM…what I find almost as interesting, is learning about the k-pop MACHINE. It’s fascinating. Their whole sinister plan strategy is to make you feel like you KNOW them, like they’re there for YOU. It’s a planned imaginary intimacy and BTS is SO GOOD AT IT. Ha. Which I’m very aware of as I’m laughcrying to them trying to travel around a foreign country on $10/day…or falling more in love when they vacation for a week on a secret island and just RELAX (you know, as much as you can relax with cameras on you every day) and enjoy one another’s company and write sweet letters to one another (this is a series called In The Soop from last summer and may be the best “reality” show EVER).

And the machine is VERY good at making fans SPEND MONEY. Wow. There is SO MUCH MERCH. Fortunately, I’m an adult (ha ha) and I have really not succumbed to much of that. I’ve paid for some concert videos and documentaries you can’t see anywhere else…and mumblemumbleyes I did buy a BTS book when it was on clearance at Target, ha ha, but it was CHRISTMAS and Santa WANTED me to have it.

And do I want to see them live in concert? OH HELL YES. That’s right up there in my top three bucket list items. And I’m so anxious that I’m not going to be able to make it happen…their concerts sell out (at the world’s largest stadiums: The Rose Bowl in Pasadena holds 90,000 and sold out in under an hour), Wembley in London, Brazil, NYC, Korea, everywhere. They sell out FAST. And I am not wise in the ways of concert ticket buying.

I was never a concert person. All those PEOPLE. Lines, waiting, noise, pushing, ugh. But I’ll put up with ALL OF THAT to see them live. And I don’t want to just GO to a concert. I want to be right up against the stage. I want EYE CONTACT, ha ha ha. When they’re dancing I want the sweat to whip off their hair and hit me.

I’m in deep, ha ha.

And who knows when they’ll be comfortable (#covid) planning another world tour…AND…they’re currently looking down the barrel at military enlistment in the next year (at least for the oldest two). That’s a WHOLE other issue. They may get a deferment, they may get a total reprieve. They may not WANT the reprieve, preferring to do their duty as loyal South Korean citizens. That whole topic is just a Wait and See. Although they were just named as Special Presidential Envoy for Future Generations and Culture, and maybe this will be a suitable option to “doing their duty as young Korean men” by going into the military.

They’re not just amazing, talented musicians and performers, they are generous humanitarians and spokespeople for not just the younger generation, but for all generations. In 2020 they donated a million dollars to the Black Lives Matter cause…and their fans (ARMY) matched it for a donation of an additional $1,000,000. They were just re-named as UNICEF’s spokespeople for their Love Myself campaign. They regularly donate to causes they believe in – the arts, children, South Korean issues. ARMY regularly donates things in their (BTS) names for their birthdays, like in 2020 fans of J-Hope (Jung Hoseok) donated towards building a hospital in China to be named “Hope Hospital.”

But so, yeah. In a year’s time I’ve gone from “who are these BLT people I keep hearing about,” to watching “JUST ONE VIDEO,” thinking, hmm, I don’t know that that’s my kind of music (I have since changed my tune, ha ha, see what I did there??), but the music video was certainly grand and dramatic and elaborate and that blonde guy was kind of cute, wonder what his name is.

AND THAT’S HOW THEY GET YOU. Because it is like a major life hurdle just to learn their names. In the beginning, it seems like there are about 17 of them because in every picture you see their hair color is different, so by the time you feel confident in knowing who the three blonde ones are, they are now pink, black, and silver-haired and you’re lost again. By the time you finally GET IT, you’re in deep. You’re starting to know their (charming) personalities, you have a favorite (or three) singer, a favorite (or three) dancer, you know which one speaks fluent English, which one has a hysterical dry whit, which one wants to come back in his next life as a stone, and which one is a literal angel on earth.

You’re in love.

I admit it, I’m in love with seven young South Korean men that I will never meet. Ha. And this whole experience has brought about positive changes in my life (which is more than I can say for other men I’ve loved, ha ha). Some plans for the future (that I’m sorry, I still cannot share), learning a new language, learning the history of a part of the world I’d known very little about (I swear a year ago I thought North and South Korea were the same country…like the US has the north and south) (I’m not proud), attempting (unsuccessfully, but I keep trying) to dance, reacquainting myself with music to the point that I see a piano in my very near future (I know I’ve been saying that for a while but I every time I think I’m prepared to fund that dream something else comes along to take my dollars). They literally cheer me up when I feel down. The term “laughcry” came about from watching their charming, hysterical, chaotic videos.

It has been a journey. Happy BTS-aversary to me.

 

 

Okay, don’t hate me. But what prompted this post was a BTS video. Specifically, the outfits they wore for the March 2021 announcement about renewing their collaboration with UNICEF for the Love Yourself campaign. So proud.

I watched the video (below, if you’re interested) and near the end there’s this scene (above) of the group sitting together all sharing what the Love Yourself campaign means to them. And while I was listening to their sentiments, I was also noticing their outfits. I love seeing them like this because they are so well-styled cohesively as a group. But it occurred to me that their outfits as a whole were actually an entire capsule wardrobe!

“[A capsule wardrobe is] a practice of editing your wardrobe down to your favorite clothes (clothes that fit your lifestyle + body right now), remixing them regularly, and shopping less often and more intentionally.” ~ Caroline Rector of Un-fancy. 

If you break their outfits down you end up with:

1 Pair Black Pants

1 Pair Dark Grey Pants

1 White Tee

1 Black Cardigan

1 Grey Cardigan

1 Dark Grey V-neck Pullover

1 Black Crew-neck Pullover

1 Light Grey Crew-neck Pullover

1 Black Button-down (I actually thought from the video that Hobi (dark-haired man on the far right) was wearing a black button-down. Once I saw him standing I realized it was another black crew-neck, but I’m going to go with black button-down because that would have worked for his outfit here and will be more useful to the capsule than a second black pullover. You know poetic license? This is #sartoriallicense).

So that’s 9 pieces. 9 basic pieces that are relatively easy to find at any size and price range.

From those 9 pieces, you can make 34 outfits. That’s practically SEVEN WEEKS of work outfits. From 9 items. If you added just one pair of blue denim jeans to the mix, that would give you an additional 19 outfits! And I actually think I’m leaving something on the table cuz I thought of some other combination but it’s gone and my brain is fried so I’m done.

Fashion Math is breaking my brain.

And before people start hating on me for “lack of color,” understand this is just an example. You can use whatever colors you want. Personally, I’d be happy starting with this black/grey base and then add maybe 2 colored blouses and 2 colored sweaters (and maybe a pair of greyed down socks, you know what I’m saying). Doing the math quickly in my head, that would add like 1,275 more outfit combinations (gross exaggeration but you get the idea). For each single item you add (that is complementary to the majority of the other items) you increase the total outfit count by SO MANY 🙂

Considerations when Purchasing Items to Mix-and-Match

• Something to keep in mind when choosing items you’re going to want to wear over things (like the pullover sweaters) as well as under things…think fine knits, like merino wool or rayon/cotton blends, etc. Something that is a thin, pliable knit that won’t add bulk or too much warmth, since you want to be able to layer comfortably; but is a fit with enough ease to it that it will go easily over something else without bunching up.
• Keep necklines in mind when you want to layer tee shirts under crew-neck sweaters. Not All Necklines Are Created Equal.  Yes, I said it…AGAIN. A crew-neck is not a crew-neck is not a crew-neck. And necklines need to be compatible when layering. Like, the “pants + white tee under black crew-neck” will not be any different than “pants + crew-neck” unless you can see the little band of white at the collar and below the sweater hem. So it’s not just a matter of grabbing any tee and any sweater and thinking it will work.
• Consider the compatibility of different tones of colors. Yes, even grey and black have different tones. I don’t know exactly how to verbalize the difference between blacks, other than some are softer and some seem sharper? If you hold many black items up against one another you’ll start to see the differences. It’s even more pronounced in greys. Grey tones can lean in different directions – towards blue, towards yellow…some are murkier, some are crisper. Grey is not grey is not grey (buzz phrase of the day). Just keep that in mind when trying to purchase items that you’re going to want to combine with other specific items.

The above are all good things to keep in mind when layering, as well. Every tee will not look “right” (to you) under every sweater. There’s more to item combining than just color – even though color is usually the first thing people notice and are drawn to.

If you’re just here for the fashion and not interested in BTS, stop here 🙂

Okay, this got pretty “technical,” considering it started from a BTS video.

Speaking of which, did you know many of their songs/albums/music videos are connected by philosophical threads/meanings and one after another, tell an ongoing story? It’s really fascinating how they write and build their song-lists and develop video ideas and stories. If all you’ve heard is “Dynamite,” you may be shaking your head and thinking, “she’s lost her damn mind.” But there are whole books written on the deeper meanings of their songs, their philosophical undertones, etc. It’s really fascinating and sometimes way over my head, quite honestly (Kim Namjoon, who writes a LOT of their lyrics is BRILLIANT. Literally. He has an IQ of 148.).

I’ve been slowly working my way through this book Map of the Soul – 7: Persona, Shadow & Ego in the World of BTS. From the book description, “Starting with the lyrics, this book launches into a deep, engaging examination of the album in the light of the psychology of Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. The many layers of meaning embedded in the number 7 are brought to light, along with several fundamental concepts of Jungian psychology.” ETC. Following BTS is not all sunshine and fluff. Map of the Soul: 7 is their album that was released right at the beginning of the covid19 outbreak and subsequent quarantine (ha ha, I’m laughing, how many times have I written the phrase “covid19 outbreak and subsequent quarantine” for work in the past year?? A LOT.)

Sorry, I’m falling down my favorite rabbit hole (#queenoftangents). The connections make sense in my mind, but I’ll stop here for now. Oh, here’s the video of them talking about their involvement with the UNICEF Love Yourself campaign. They are lovely ambassadors for this cause.

Alright, I know someone is going to ask, so here are all the combinations (sorry, it’s a LOT):

1. Black pants + white tee
2. Grey pants + white tee
3. Black pants + white tee + black cardigan
4. Grey pants + white tee + grey cardigan
5. Black pants + white tee + black pullover
6. Grey pants + white tee + light grey pullover
7. Black pants + white tee + black buttondown, buttoned
8. Black pants + white tee + black button-down, unbuttoned
9. Grey pants + white tee + black buttondown, buttoned
10. Grey pants + white tee + black buttondown, unbuttoned
11. Black pants + white tee + grey v-neck pullover
12. Black pants + grey v-neck pullover
13. Black pants + white tee + grey v-neck pullover
14. Grey pants + white tee + grey v-neck pullover
15. Black pants + black buttondown + grey v-neck pullover
16. Black pants + black buttondown + black crewneck
17. Black pants + black buttondown + light grey crewneck
18. Grey pants + black buttondown + grey v-neck pullover
19. Grey pants + black buttondown + black crewneck
20. Grey pants + black buttondown + light grey crewneck
21. Black pants + black buttondown
22. Grey pants + black buttondown
23. Black pants + black crewneck + UNDER black buttondown
24. Black pants + light grey crewneck + UNDER black buttondown
25. Grey pants + black crewneck + UNDER black buttondown
26. Grey pants + light grey crewneck + UNDER black buttondown
27. Black pants + black buttondown + black cardigan
28. Black pants + black buttondown + grey cardigan
29. Grey pants + black buttondown + black cardigan
30. Grey pants + black buttondown + grey cardigan
31. Black pants + white tee + black buttondown + black cardigan
32. Black pants + white tee + black buttondown + grey cardigan
33. Grey pants + white tee + black buttondown + black cardigan
34. Grey pants + white tee + black buttondown + grey cardigan

ADD ONE PAIR OF BLUE JEANS
1. Blue jeans + white tee
2. Blue jeans + grey v-neck pullover
3. Blue jeans + white tee + grey v-neck pullover
4. Blue jeans + white tee + black cardigan
5. Blue jeans + white tee + grey cardigan
6. Blue jeans + black crewneck pullover
7. Blue jeans + light grey crewneck pullover
8. Blue jeans + white tee + black crewneck pullover
9. Blue jeans + white tee + light grey crewneck pullover
10. Blue jeans + black buttondown
11. Blue jeans + white tee + black buttondown, buttoned
12. Blue jeans + white tee + black buttondown, unbuttoned
13. Blue jeans + black buttondown + black cardigan
14. Blue jeans + black buttondown + grey cardigan
15. Blue jeans + black buttondown + grey v-neck pullover
16. Blue jeans + black buttondown + black crewneck pullover
17. Blue jeans + black buttondown + light grey crewneck pullover
18. Blue jeans + white tee + black buttondown + black cardigan
19. Blue jeans + white tee + black buttondown + grey cardigan

And you wonder why the dishes don’t get washed. I’m insane. Oh! No! Wait! I’m A Complicated Person! Ha ha ha! My YouTube friend knew what she was saying.

I need to rest my brain now. Goodbye.

Are you super critical of how you look in photos? Do you avoid having your picture taken at all costs? You are not alone. However, I’d like you to consider something: it may be more than just thinking you look old, fat, unattractive, etc. It may that you’re just not used to seeing yourself in photographs.

Seeing yourself in a mirror is very different than seeing yourself in a still photograph. A mirror is more “alive.” It reflects your movements, your changing expression. So even if one zillionth of a second of the image is not great, it changes immediately. A still photo freezes the movement, your expression, the way the light hits your face, the way shadows hover underneath body bulges. I get it. An unflattering picture bears witness to the fact that you are not a supermodel.

But – it is still a representation of you, for better or worse. It’s YOU. Unless you’re living under a rock, you and your image will be moving in and out of public view for most of your life. People are going to see you. They’re going to see you on bad hair days, when your chin is breaking out, when you’re stuck under hideous overhead fluorescent lighting. You can’t hide just by refusing to ever be in a picture (well, you can, but do you want to live that way?).

So, since being seen and being in photographs are normal parts of life, what can you do to help yourself feel better about it?

You can normalize seeing yourself – what you look like – in photos by…BEING IN MORE PHOTOS. If you don’t like yourself in pictures, you probably avoid having your picture taken. If you avoid having your picture taken, how often are you seeing yourself in photos? Probably not often. If you don’t see yourself in photos often, it’s possibly always a surprise to you how you look.

In my time as a photographer, I have heard this SO many times, “Is THAT what I really LOOK like? Yuck!” But it’s not that you’re “yuck.” You’re just not used to seeing yourself.

So, my challenge to you is to SEE YOURSELF. Get in the picture. Do the selfie. Do ALL the selfies. Take a photo of yourself Every Day. Look at them. Every day. Until you stop only seeing what it is you don’t like. Keep looking until you find something you like. The smile that makes you look genuinely happy. Your bangs at the perfect length. The best cat-eye you’ve ever done. Whatever it is, focus on that. Keep doing it. Do it for 30 days. I can almost guarantee that at the end of the month you will feel more positively about your appearance in photos than you did at the beginning.

You’ll be used to what you look like, rather than being surprised. You’ll be able to see and appreciate the good.

And that, my friend, is the goal. Let’s appreciate ourselves and our appearance. We each have a unique and beautiful appearance. Let’s CELEBRATE that!

If you do the 30-day Challenge, let me know how it goes!

WHAT I’M WEARING

Striped Tee: Old Navy, 3x
White Tee: H&M, 3x
Plaid Buttondown: Sanctuary, 3x. Straight sizes here, comparable in plus sizes here.
Jeans: Gloria Vanderbilt Amanda, Scottsdale wash, 20 short
Denim Jacket: White Mark, 3x
Sneakers: Black Converse Shoreline slip-ons

 

This post contains affiliate links, which means that I may receive a small commission if you buy something as a result of clicking that link, at no extra cost to you. I appreciate you shopping through my links.

 

Ooohhh…this is a “challenge myself” week, but I’m thinking you guys should do it too 🙂 So I’m not out here loving myself all alone. To be clear, you will share things you love about YOURSELF. Ha. The exercise is of finding positive things about yourself, not just finding fault with yourself.

MONDAY

Oh gosh, Day One and I’m already struggling. OH, here’s what I was thinking over the weekend. Maybe part of the difficulty is the word LOVE. Side Note: Sometimes I feel like so many problems in the world are really just semantics issues. Anyway. If you struggle to think of things you LOVE about yourself…try substituting the word “love” with “accept.” Or value. Or appreciate.

I appreciate the fact that my body has risen above my lifetime of crappy care and gotten me to the age of 60. Even when I do stupid things and neglect stuff…it just keeps on keeping on. And I’m feeling pretty good!

Thanks, body, for having my back!

TUESDAY

Some might consider me bull-headed, but something I like about myself is that I Do Not Give Up when I REALLY REALLY want something. Like…I’ll hang on to the tiniest spark of hope for a LONG TIME (possibly too long at times but) and just keep pouring myself into a thing, trying to fan the flames until it turns into SOMETHING.

Whether it’s a business idea, personal project, relationship or…JUMPING ROPE (ha ha, you had to know you hadn’t heard the last of THAT! Who ELSE am I going to share my tiny victories with, if not you guys!). Side Note: 32 JUMPS YESTERDAY! So Proud!

WEDNESDAY

I admit I’m not always the brightest bulb in the box (I used to be better but with each passing year I can feel my mental acuity draining away), BUT. I’ve never done THIS.

THURSDAY

Okay, after three days I think I’m allowed a little vanity. I love my hair. I mean, on good hair days. When it’s good, it’s really, really good (and when it is bad, it is horrid). Right now I really like the color (although I still want to someday do a silvery blue, but maybe when I go shorter again in the future) and on perfect days, it does just what I want it to do. There are not a lot of perfect days, so I really appreciate the ones I get.

FRIDAY

I don’t recall if I ever told you guys about the brief reunion with the high school love? JIC I already have, I’ll keep this very brief. High School BF and I broke up when I was 22. Zero contact for 15 years til I was separated from Husband and GF got us together when I was visiting her in Virginia. It LOOKED like maybe we were going to give it another go…but that didn’t happen (stupid boys) BUT…he did write me the loveliest “yeah, I don’t think so” letter (that I still have around here somewhere – yes, an actual LETTER ON PAPER). And one of the things he said about me (oh god here comes the crying) was that I have, and have always had, an “indomitable spirit.”

And I so loved that. Because I have always felt that about myself. Even when I was stuck for so long in Grey Land, I always felt that part of me deep down was…hopeful and just refused to give up (even when it seemed ridiculous to NOT give up). Even when life says NO I’m still like….mmm, I don’t know, I think maybe YES, even when the odds seem against me.

So. I greatly value my (to use his term) indomitable spirit.

SATURDAY

I like that…I can make things look nice…or at least SEEM nice (ha ha), when I really don’t have much to work with. I admit I used to put more effort into that than I do these days but I can usually pull something out of my hat in a crunch. Things like…presents or tea parties or tabletop vignettes or books arranged just so on a shelf…or an outfit or a grouping of plants with some old broken up concrete thing.

SUNDAY

When left to my own devices (<- heaven) I make nice pictures. I enjoy my vision. I like finding small details or things that might otherwise go unnoticed or that other people think are ugly or boring, and focusing on them…showing them to the world (or at least the 17 people who see them on the internet) in a way that makes them (hopefully) go “oh. oh, I didn’t realize that could look like that.” And that makes them appreciate that small, ugly, boring thing that they would have otherwise have not even noticed.

I saw this quote this week while I was working on this post and it seemed appropriate to share here:

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~ Louise L. Hay

After giving this topic thought this week, I have more things than I thought I would. I’ll continue dropping things into regular posts now and then…the same with the gratitudes.

Come on y’all. Try it. Try and come up with one thing every day. You can do this.

xoxo