black and white photo of bettye walking away from camera in swishy tulle skirt

black and white photo of bettye walking away from camera in swishy tulle skirt

I like perusing the personal ads. Not in an “I’m looking for someone” sort of way, but just purely for the entertainment factor. Reading people’s descriptions of themselves is a hoot.

I think sometimes people identify with who they would like to be. “I’m funny,” “I’m youthful,” “I’m a free spirit,” “I’m open-minded.” Hmm. I hear the words comin’ out yo mouth but…that’s not the person I see in front of me.

Hey, I catch myself doing it sometimes. But let’s not go into that today. One of these days I’ll do TRUE true confessions. But I’ll need a drink first. Ooh, drunk blogging, is that a thing?? I see a new monthly series…

But really, I think many people would like to be more like this, and less like that. And I think it sort of seeps into our perception of our own identity to the point that we think we really are that way. And conversely and…sadder…is when we let negative thoughts in.

Have you ever convinced yourself that you’re ____ (insert imagined character flaw here)? “I’m so dumb, slow, awkward, undisciplined, etc.,” when really we just maybe had one or two experiences that we failed at and now we think we’re THE WORST HUMAN ON THE PLANET.

In 10th grade I failed geometry. MISERABLY. Like from Day One, I had no clue what anyone was talking about. It was a horrible semester for me during which I created the internal dialogue of “I’m so stupid,” combined with “I’m bad at math.”

Guess what? I took the course again the following semester with a different teacher – straight A’s. I didn’t do anything differently, no tutoring, etc. I just had a different teacher who explained it all in a way that I GOT. It was never that I was stupid or bad at math, that first teacher just didn’t have a way of teaching that reached me.

The point is, it was So Easy for me to believe bad things about myself. And I think we all do that.

Let’s knock that off, shall we? Let’s try and see ourselves objectively and honestly. See the good, the bad, and the ugly. And know that none of us are ALL good, or bad, or ugly.

For every perceived flaw you see in yourself, try and come up with at least five GOOD things you like about yourself. I’ll start. My eyes are uneven. Like really uneven. There’s a story behind that (of course there is). BUT…1) my hair has some AMAZING days…2) I love the color grey it has turned…3) I like my nose…4) I think I’m pretty when I smile…and 5) I barely grow leg hair anymore HA HA HA HA HA.

Look at that! One dumb little thing about uneven eyes (which, I’ve been noticing MOST people have uneven eyes. I thought I was the only one. Like on The PLANET) and five things I’m happy with. That’s a pretty good ratio.

Not having to shave my legs WAY outweighs uneven eyes that almost everyone else has anyway.

Now you try. Let me know how it goes. And if YOU can’t come up with five, ask a good friend or favorite family member. They probably see you more clearly than you see yourself. But you’re on way to being able to see the good in you, too.