Those of you who have been following for awhile, know that I left the US in 2023 to move to South Korea on a 2-year student visa. My time here has been a literal roller coaster of ups and downs.

Year One was filled with equal parts anxiety (read: terror) and excitement – as I discovered all the challenges of living in a country where I barely spoke the language…but also experienced all the thrills of finally being in a country that I had been enamored with, seeing famous sights in person vs just on TV in k-dramas, and experiencing the culture first-hand.

Year Two was quieter. I’d settled in more – had learned my way around the neighborhood, market, public transportation. Could speak enough of the language to get around. I’d seen many of the big sights I’d planned to see. But due to – I don’t know, really – age? injury after injury? health? – I don’t know, but, I just felt sort of depleted.

But when I started opting to stay home more to rest or read instead of discovering new areas or going on little adventures, I felt guilty! I felt like I should be hustling, seeing and doing all I could in what time I have left here.

When I shared this with a friend, she said I shouldn’t feel guilty for not Doing All The Things All The Time. I’m not a tourist here. I’m not “visiting.” This is my life. This is where I live – with the accompanying tasks and responsibilities that come along with that: work/school, studying, laundry, bill-paying, cleaning the bathroom, grocery shopping, etc. All the things we all do every day in our normal lives. In “normal life” we don’t run around every day…or even every week…sightseeing, visiting museums or festivals, trying new restaurants, etc. Why was I being so hard on myself??

This conversation is what prompted me to write today’s post – instead of sharing the usual “week in review” post, which, this week, was just a day-by-day accounting of “I did nothing again today” (more or less).

In the two years that I’ve lived here in South Korea, I’ve gotten a lot of comments like “how exciting!” – but really…once you get over the initial “oh my gosh I’m really here” period, you realize you’re just living your life…just in a different place.

Living Alone in a Foreign Country vs. Visiting as a Tourist

Traveling to a foreign country as a tourist is a thrilling whirlwind of sights, tastes, and snapshots. But living alone for an extended period of time in that same country is an entirely different adventure, filled with deep challenges and rich rewards.

When you travel to exciting new places as a tourist, you’re on a timeline. Your itinerary is carefully curated for maximum enjoyment in a short period of time: sightseeing, trying all the local foods, and taking pictures of the most iconic landmarks. Staying in the comfort of a hotel can shield you from the realities and challenges of daily life. It’s common for hotel staff to know at least some English and they’re able to give directions and travel tips or even arrange tours, recommend local restaurants, and just generally make your stay as comfortable and easy as possible.  The local culture is something to witness and admire, not necessarily something you need to adapt to. You don’t have to figure out where to pay utility bills or how to navigate an emergency room in another language.

Living alone in a foreign country, however, means immersing yourself in the actual ins and outs of daily life. It’s navigating grocery stores with unfamiliar products with hard to read labels and pricing, learning public transportation routes, and figuring out how to meet people when you’re not fluent in the local language. Loneliness and culture shock can be unsettling, but they can also promote personal growth and resilience. You start to understand the culture not just from the outside, but from within. What was once foreign becomes familiar.

Living abroad teaches you patience, adaptability, and a surprising amount about yourself. You’re not just passing through — you’re building a life, however temporary, in a new place.  You’ll fumble and adapt and slowly find your footing. While I’m still basically an anxious person (and boy does that come out when you leave everything you know behind to start a new life), I do feel more confident that I can…manage. Adapt. Survive. In any situation.

Both experiences are valuable, but they serve different purposes. Tourism feeds curiosity. Living abroad builds character. One gives you a taste of the world; the other gives you the tools to not only survive, but to thrive in it.