A Sentence a Day: May
I first read about this “Sentence A Day” project on Jodie Filogomo’s Jodie’s Touch of Style blog…and thought I’d give it a go in May, not knowing the direction that month was headed. So, here I go…
Warning: May was a grim month for me, so this is not going to be a perky post In the Least. I’m hoping to lift the mood with some pictures, but…it is what it is. A recounting of a difficult month. You’ve been warned.
5.1 It was finally nice enough after work to sit on the back stoop with Caleb and the “land-friend’s” dogs and just enjoy the evening air.
5.2 I met friends at the diner for a quick dinner but we got so busy talking we missed the sunset!
5.3 A hot day and I tried to make Caleb comfortable in the heat, to no avail.
5.4 Before work I spoke with the vet about Caleb’s sudden decline and she said to pick up new pain pills for him and cross my fingers they’ll help make him more comfortable because there’s not much more we can do for him.
5.5 I lost my beautiful boy today and my heart is broken.
5.6 I just drove around aimlessly today, feeling unattached from everything.
5.7 Thankful for a friend who invited me to dinner at an outdoor cafe in town to get me out of my head for a bit.
5.8 I buried my boy today and I will never see his beautiful face again or stroke his silky head.
5.9 Grateful for another friend having dinner with me at another outdoor cafe in town.
5.10 Went to the movies alone after work for some much-needed distraction.
5.11 I struggled to be at work then passed the time til I could go to sleep at night.
5.12 I worked overtime at our rainy 5k – walking 2 miles taking pictures was NOT good for my feet.
5.13 While I had tentative plans with a friend for the day, when I woke up with savage sore throat I opted to stay in and watch movies all day instead.
5.14 My niece, nephew and great-niece sent me a lovely locket to put Caleb’s picture in <3
5.15 Was a weird stormy day with the biggest thunder/lightning/house-shaking moment I think I’ve ever felt.
5.16 Got a “talking to” at work today and now I am an anxious mess.
5.17 Another day where I feel I am “in trouble” and I am an anxious mess everywhere I go.
5.18 TRULY TGIF.
5.19 Distracted myself with like six hours of Royal Wedding programming then movie after movie after movie.
5.20 Sobbed and sobbed when I opened a package from my sister and discovered a watercolor painting she had done of Caleb.
5.21 Back to work today after the weekend and I’m still on high anxiety, but did a shoot on the sunshiny beach and that was fun.
5.22 I’m back to meditating every day during lunch in the hopes of quieting my mind and heart at work (unsuccessfully).
5.23 Had a desperately-needed beach evening with comfortable temps, beautiful light, cool sand and refreshing water rushing over my feet.
5.24 Got through the work day and met a friend in town for ice cream and a sunset viewing over the harbor.
5.25 Early release from work today extended my weekend by a precious 45 minutes.
5.26 I escaped a beautiful sunny day today by staying inside and watching movie after movie after movie.
5.27 Grey spring rain allowed me freedom from having to go out in the world today.
5.28 Spent a lovely afternoon outdoors at the ex’es for my nephew’s birthday party, chatting and being fed.
5.29 The anxiety I’ve been feeling is getting a little overwhelming and I just…ugh.
5.30 I forced myself to do my first solo (sans dog) walk around the block and it was weird but I did it.
5.31 Grateful that it is the last day of this month, hoping June will be better.
Jodie has a link-up on her Jodie’s Touch of Style where other people have shared their sentence-a-day blog posts…maybe you can read a cheerier one there…
Julia @ When The Girls Rule
Well, that was a tough month. I can relate to how you feel at work. At one job, I had that exact anxiousness and felt like I was being “cut from the herd” and set up to fail with impossible deadlines and projects I had no experience or training, from a new manager who wanted to be the queen bee. And I was “laid off” conveniently the day before a new person was to start. And can I tell you how relieved I was when that happened? I actually want to go back and give myself a hug when I think of those days. That was when I realized clothes could be a comfort and shield. I hope your anxiousness doesn’t continue and I wish you get the outcome you want from your job. Good luck and here’s a big hug! Julia
Fashion Schlub
Thanks, Julia.
Jodie
It’s is a sad month for you, but when I read this, I see other things too. Like so many people that love you and bring you joy even during this time.
Sending you tons of hugs, Bettye!!
Fashion Schlub
Thanks, Jodie.
Ivana Split
So sorry to hear about Caleb, my dog was poisoned years ago and we still haven’t summed up the courage to get a new one. I’m so afraid that if I get another dog, it might get poisoned again and I just couldn’t bear it. It is so hard to say goodbye to a beloved pet.
Fashion Schlub
Oh Ivana, how awful! I’m so sorry 🙁 My heart feels for you.
Iris Smale
Losing THE pet is losing a member of the family. And, it’s okay to cry and grieve. I’m sure I speak for many who are grieving along with you! Sorry about the job stuff. Praying it improves.
Fashion Schlub
Thank you, Iris.
Nancy
I really wish you a better June. There is nothing more I can say because I feel so sad for your loss of your pretty and sweet boy. Xxxx
Fashion Schlub
Thanks, Nancy.
Gail Hanlon
Very sorry to hear about your dog Bettye and anxiety. You’ll never forget Caleb but over time the pain diminishes slightly. Hoping July is better.
stinedurfdl
Oh my friend…I so hope that June is being kinder to you. I do not have the words to express to you how sorry I am about Caleb. He was a beautiful boy and although it doesn’t lessen your pain, you gave him a beautiful life full of love and joy. I know from experience the soul crushing pain of losing a pup, and especially when it’s that one special pup. I have loved many dogs (and still do) with my whole heart, but when I lost my boy Titus a.k.a. The Best Dog Ever, the pain was damn near unbearable. As a matter of fact, the tattoo on my left ankle is my boy’s actual paw print…that way I have him with me forever. Just know that the pain does lessen over time. Your heart never fully heals, but the pain is eventually replaced with a somewhat less painful scar. I do agree with Jodie, that you are so fortunate to have loving people in your world to help you through all of it.
Debbie
http://www.fashionfairydust.com