Week in Review: Week 103

Greetings from beautiful California! I spent so much of my childhood here that, even though we never actually lived here, it has always felt like home. All my mother’s family was here so we came out every summer.

A few times she tried to jump the gun a bit and take me out of school even before the end of the school year in NY and put me in school here in SoCal for the remaining week or two. Oh, The Drama. I was very shy so to be plunked down into a classroom of strangers was just more than I could take and I would just cry and cry or complain of stomach-aches until they would call my mother to come get me. Eventually they just gave up and let me stay home. Score! Ha.

Anyway. I have not been back out here for 14 years. Which has made me very sad and I have missed people and places Very Much. But my darling daughter treated me to this wonderful trip and now here we are! We’ve only been here for 2 days so there will be more pictures in next week’s Week in Review, but let me get this show on the road, which starts back home in New York.

Last weekend some girlfriends and I got together and made vision boards. A picture of my completed project would have been a great idea, yes? Instead here’s a Valentines cookie. I’ve got my priorities.


I had one intense errand day to get ready for the trip. Visited Avenue for new black leggings and the elusive perfect white tee. This was not it. But the leggings came home with me.


I got my eyebrows threaded. They’ve filled in a lot since the chemo but while still a little sparse on the outer edges they were growing wide not dense and it was looking odd to me. Can you tell which is the before and which is the after? And why my face looks so crooked??

I’ve been sharing a lot of old pictures on my Bettye Rainwater Photography Instagram page and I’ve got a little “horse” theme going on.

Perks of early morning flights.


I flew from NY alone but….


Doing some sightseeing…


Met up with the amazing Annabelle (and, oh yeah, her mother and father) for lunch…


Pretty spaces.


Beach sunset.


Visiting my parents, grandparents and Aunt Bettie at the cemetery.



Urban Lights at Los Angeles County Museum of Art.


My apologies for the poor formatting and lack of links. I’m doing this on my phone and my phone apparently hates me today as it is being QUITE uncooperative. So, until next time…!!!!




I Got My Own Back

i got my own back

While you may be fortunate enough to have friends and family available to you when you need them, at the end of the day you really have only yourself to rely on. That realization always makes me a little sad, but…it’s true. It doesn’t mean people don’t love you or care about you or want to help you, but people have their own stuff. When and if they can help you, they will. But sometimes they can’t…and then it’s on you.


I have a friend who recently said to me, “don’t expect me to rescue you.” I was a little taken aback because I have certainly never asked him to rescue me…or anyone for that matter. Well, maybe when I was younger. I do come from a generation when women still expected to get married and be supported, more or less, by a husband. For better or worse, that’s the way it was at the time – I was just on the cusp of that changing, but…when I was young I did have that expectation. But it has been a lonnnggg time since I’ve expected to be “rescued.” I expect to be taking care of myself til the day I die.

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This is not to say that I don’t appreciate help. I like to say “someone in the boat with me.” Sharing the load of rowing. Sometimes my arms get tired and it’s nice for someone to take over for a bit. But if they fall overboard and get eaten by sharks (heh heh), I’ll just row alone. I am woman, see me row.

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And what on earth does all that have to do with today’s post? Well, I’m still without a photographer. Ha. And I was panicking that I posted no outfit post last week and I didn’t want to repeat that this week, so…I got up at the crackadawn on Saturday and me and the tripod went down to a little nearby beach (where I hoped I’d have no witnesses!) to shoot. One hour, 200 shots, less than ten usable. Not a great ratio. BUT…I managed.

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I call this my Carolyn of Un-Fancy sweater. It seems like in every outfit she has this chestnut brown color in something and I have coveted it for sometime…and searched high and low for something in this color. I finally found this poncho sweater on Ellos.com…and it was back-ordered. I’m usually too impatient for that sort of thing but I was so in love with this color that I ordered. And waited. And waited. And finally it arrived…in all its chestnut glory, exactly the shade I’ve been dreaming of.

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In all honesty it’s a little big. Ellos is a sister to Woman Within, my “everything is too big” nemesis, ha. That sizing, combined with the fact that it’s totally open on the side (a fact that, despite it being called a poncho sweater, was lost on me when placing my order. I was blinded by the color), makes it quite voluminous. Even on me. It’s a little like wearing a blanket with sleeves. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. Anyway, I’d waited so long to get this one, I was certainly not sending it back and starting all over.

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So I love it. The color, the lightweight, stretchy cushy knit, the color, the open sides, did I mention the color? I think this color will go with everything. Blue denim, black, grey, white. All the denims. It does need to be worn over something (have I mentioned the open sides?), so here I have it over a black cami, but you could put it over a turtleneck or a collared denim shirt, etc.

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I’ve wanted to order from Ellos.com for a long time. They have Woman Within prices and plus-size sizing with a Scandinavian style aesthetic. A good combo. I will definitely be ordering from there again. Look, another first (a la my new year’s resolution)!

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So. I did my own shoot. I finally got chestnut brown into my wardrobe. I DON’T NEED NO STINKIN’ RESCUING!!!

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Pro-blogger tip: don’t photograph yourself seated in a really long top cuz it makes your legs look like they’re about 10″ long. Ha. Learn from my mistakes.

Bye now!

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What I’m Wearing

I’m linking up today with the lovely Catherine for her #IWillWearWhatILike linkup party. Be sure to check out all the other bloggers who have linked up on her page…Not Dressed as Lamb. 

What to Do When You’re in a Funk

Note: I did not say “how to get OUT of a funk.” I have the utmost respect for The Funk and would never try to hurry one along. It’s there for a reason. You may not even be aware of the reason, but if your head/heart/body/mind says you’re in a funk, just go with it. Enjoy it. Revel in it. If you try to ignore it then you’re not honoring your Self. Honor your Self. Honor the Funk.


I happen to be in a funk myself right now. I’m feeling out of my normal routine, I’m tired, I’m sad. Is there a particular reason? Maybe. Maybe not. Sometimes you don’t know or can’t necessarily change the reason…but you can control how you react to it. Put down that self-help book, skip that yoga class, turn off the meditation app. Just be in the funk. It won’t last forever. If you try and resist you will never get the little escape your body is telling you you need. So have that pity party until you feel ready to shake it off and move on.

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And in the meantime, here are some tried-and-true tested (by me!) techniques for getting the maximum enjoyment out of a funk.

  • Get into your nightgown/pajamas. There is nothing better than getting home from work and immediately putting on your comfy cozy no-restraint clothes. Once you’re in your sleepwear you know you won’t be going out again so it’s easy to stay home alone and pass on any invitations that might come your way, eg., “Oh, I’d love to but I’ve already taken off my bra so I couldn’t possibly.”
  • As indicated above, accept no invitations. Unless someone offers to pick up ice cream and Chinese food and leave it on your doorstep without even knocking, your response to any invitations (if you have even actually answered the phone or text) should be, “I wish I could, but I don’t want to” a la Phoebe Buffet in an early episode of Friends.
  • Do not, I repeat, DO NOT wash the dishes or put away the Christmas decorations. They will all still be there on the other side of the funk.
  • Get into bed. Is it still light out? Even better. While in bed:
    • Turn out the lights and just lay there in the dark.
    • Listen to a podcast.
    • Read a book (NO SELF-HELP), preferably a sad one.
    • Watch a movie. See above.
    • Nap.
    • Talk to yourself. No one knows and understands your pain better than you.
  • Only get up to eat and/or feed animals. Or children. But they really should not be part of any funk plan. If there are children please try to pawn them off for a short while on someone who is not in a funk. You’ll all be better for it.
  • Eat super healthy…or super UNhealthy. This is the time for extremes. A giant salad…or a pint of ice cream. With Fritos. And sprinkles. Maybe even a little alcohol.
  • Go to sleep early. Sleep as long as you want. If you can manage it, sleep all day. Get lots and lots of sleep.

Follow these steps for a day or two, until you want to stop.  I know I’m done with a funk when I want to get dressed or talk to another human being or go for a walk in actual air. Take it easy on yourself the next day. Funks take a lot out of you. If you did the funk right, by Day Two you’ll be feeling back to normalish and maybe even pretty gosh darn good. Congratulate yourself on a funk well-done and move on with your life.


Note: I am not a mental health professional, this is just how *I* like to handle a funk. Follow my plan at your own risk. It works for me. Your mileage may vary.

Week in Review: Week ONE HUNDRED!!!

Today, on a Very Special Fashion Schlub, the one HUNDREDTH episode will be filmed before a live studio audience. Oh MAN, why didn’t I ACTUALLY think of doing that! Before right now when I’m sitting down to write the post that’s ALREADY a day late! Oh I’m just a mess. But I did have a fun week.

Last week started with a trip to the greenhouses at a local arboretum. We’re very fortunate on Long Island to have So Many really good arboretums and public gardens. This was Planting Fields Arboretum in Oyster Bay.

Oops, you’re a little tipsy.







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Then onto Nassau County Museum of Art for the “Fool the Eye” exhibit.






This happened.


I swiped this off my niece’s icloud stream. Cuz come on…is my great niece not the sweetest???


My family. Far far away.



Okay…went to an art lecture (a first for me, so A New Thing) at Hecksher Museum of Art on Andy Warhol and the Pop-Art Culture. Very interesting.


I guess it would have made sense if I’d taken pictures of the pop art on display instead of these. D’oh!


Flower shop.


The big thaw.


Gothic architecture in Sea Cliff, NY.


Cold Spring Harbor, NY. I really got around this week!


Not one fashiony reference in this post, sorry! Sometimes I put some Outfits of the Day (OOTD) in the Week in Review, but I already put them all in the “What I Wore This Week” video so it seemed redundant to post them again here.

Tomorrow is back to work – and I have not one fun thing planned for this week yet, urgh. It looks like a lot of rain, so bleh. I really need to take down my Christmas tree…yeah, maybe that will happen this week.

Okay kids, have a good week! xoxo


It’s Beginning to Look a Little Like Christmas


The Christmas season has arrived…I’m just a littttle behind (shocker) with my decorating and my shopping…but I’ll be getting it together this week when my daughter comes home for the holidays. We always get a live tree and I’m so happy that in the new apartment I’ll be able to have a full-size one again. For the past five years I had to have sort of small narrow trees to fit in the space. But I love a big tree with tons of lights and ornaments and ribbons.

Here’s some trees we’ve had in past years…

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I’ll share this year’s tree once we have it up.

But in the meantime, I’m enjoying decorations around town and on other people’s houses. Most days I take a slight detour on my way home from work to go up and down a couple different streets to see the lights and decorations. I have many sweet memories of driving around the neighborhood with my mother, looking at Christmas decorations. I love when my daughter asks to do that with me now.

I think reading blogs are sort of like driving around looking at holiday decorations. You see things that you may not wear (or do) but it’s fun to see them on others. Whether they’re fashion blogs, or beauty, decorating, cooking, photography, crafting, etc., they’re such a nice way to get a glimpse into someone else’s life, passions and talents. Even if I don’t necessarily learn something, I still come away inspired or motivated to try something new or different. And sometimes (alright, a lot of the time) I just like looking at pretty pictures!

And onto this week’s outfit!


While I love this color combo, the medium dark grey with the warm golden ochre color of this longline chenille cardigan, the too-long dress length really irks me! Isn’t it funny the difference just a couple inches can make??

Anyway, I’ve pulled the two colors together with this vintage skinny fringed scarf that was either my mother’s or sister’s, now I can’t recall. It’s 100% silk and drapes very nicely.


I think I prefer a brown boot with these colors but I can’t zip my brown boots up these days!


This is a super easy-to-wear, very comfy cozy outfit that I’m sure I’ll be wearing on repeat through the cold winter ahead!





Do you like decorating for the holidays or do you have other special traditions, like baking or making presents for loved ones? I’d love to hear about them.

What I’m Wearing:

Believe it or not, I’m still plugging away with vlogmas…they may not be works of art (yet!) but you gotta give a girl credit for not giving up!

I’m linking up today with StyleSplash and her Style With A Smile link-up. Check out all the other bloggers linking up there!

Photography by Robert Mitchell Photography

It’s Almost December!

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So! I have been toying with the idea of doing another 30-day challenge in January – which is challenging myself to wear a different outfit every day in January, but now I’m thinking that, instead, maybe I’ll do Vlogmas (vlogging every day in December leading up to Christmas)! I’m SO not prepared for that, but I’m a big believer in just jumping in first and figuring it out later…and vlogging Every Single Day will help me get up-to-speed on All Things Vloggy pretty darn quick!

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It could be awful..for me AND you, ha! But I think I’m going to give it a go…if I can’t do it, I can’t do it…but I’ll certainly give it the old college try. They’ll be short, maybe 5-10 minutes a day, more or less. So…I know you’re excited, ha ha! If you want to witness this, just subscribe to my Fashion Schlub YouTube channel.

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That aside, this is another day of tripod/remote shutter selfies. On this day, a man walked his dog up to where I was shooting and proceeded to ask questions about what I was doing, including “would you like to take a picture with Miss Wiggles?” Uh, OF COURSE!!!

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Then a town worker truck pulled up, and they knew one another, so THAT guy got out of the truck and started asking me questions about what I was doing…and then they both stood there watching me. AWKWARD. Suffice it to say I didn’t get too many pictures that day. And they’re really not doing this outfit justice, because I LOVE this potato sacky dress from ASOS Curve (their plus size section) and faux leather jacket by Chelsea & Theodore via Gwynnie Bee…and I loved them together. But I didn’t get to check my car window reflection between shots so my wig was wacky and the jacket was askew and my tights are dirty. But that’s real life, so. There ya go.

Speaking of Real Life, I’ve just uploaded another video, “Switching Out My Plus Size Wardrobe from Summer to Winter: Part 2,” wherein I get all my cold weather clothes out of storage, cull through them to decide what stays and what goes, and add the “stayers” into my closet. It’s scintillating stuff, be sure to watch.

What I Wore:

* Asos Navy Ripple Stitch Dress, size 22
* Chelsea & Theodore Taupe Drape Front Faux Leather Jacket, via Gwynnie Bee, size 2x

Today I’m linking up with A Labour of Life and her Labour of Fashion link-up party!

Week in Review: Week 92

Wow, another week has passed! Yes, this was a “short week” but I managed to squeeze more out of it. I’m feeling so good I’ve finally gotten back to unpacking (yes, I am still surrounded by boxes!) and reorganizing the space. AND keeping a thought towards making room for a Christmas tree soon!

So, while I just moved here in August, I’ve had some things in boxes for…8 years! Oh my goodness! I sold and moved out of my house (where I’d lived for 14 years) in October 2009, and some things have not been unpacked in all that time. So it’s always a surprise to open a box marked “Kitchen slash pottery slash metal things slash living room not vital,” because after all this time, who KNOWS what’s in there?!? It’s fun to see things again after so long.

This picture my daughter colored for me when she was little little, maybe 5 or 6? Thank goodness she signed her last name to it or I would never have known who it was from!

I found my old wedding album oh joy. Everyone looks so young. And pink. And poofy.


And my niece and daughter…when she was still young enough that I could dress her as *I* wanted. I think I have this exact outfit now.


Dime Savings Bank is very generously doing a campaign where they’re donating $10 to nonprofits when people post what they’re thankful for on social media along with the hashtag #DimeGivesBack and tagging the nonprofit of your choice. Obviously I’m supporting Nassau Suffolk Services for Autism, where I work.


I couldn’t believe that Trader Joe’s had No. Fresh. Flowers. on Wednesday. Yes, I know it was the day before Thanksgiving, but still! I’ve never witnessed such a thing! For the record, I think Trader’s has The Best Selection of cut flowers at the best prices anywhere (except a wholesale market). They’re my go-to for flowers for the house and for gifts so this was a disappointment.


On Thanksgiving Day I just hung out at home with the kids….


Drinking tea and eating pie…


Getting updates from my daughter, sister and nieces in South Carolina…


From left to right: Niece, Grand-Niece, Daughter, Sister. Aren’t they all beautiful? I wish I could have been there with them. Maybe next time.

Late in the day we went for a ride (“IN THE CAR!” said Caleb excitedly)…


To see the sunset.


I had a friend over the next day for a post-Thanksgiving brunch. At 6pm.


This morning I filled the kitchen with smoke…but look how pretty the light rays are coming through it from outside.


And that’s my week! One holiday behind us, another one ahead. Have you started on Next Holiday Prep…whatever it might be?

Giving Thanks

It’s that time of year again where we’re reminded to be thankful for all that we have in our lives. Obviously that’s something we should be doing all year ’round but…we get busy, we have lives, demands on us, blah blah blah. And we forget. So I’m glad there’s a holiday. To remind us: Be Thankful.

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My Top Five Things to be Thankful For (sorry, My Top Five Things For Which I Am Thankful. Nope. Not doing it. I know its right. But I’m not doing it.)

  1. My health. After a difficult year, I am finally almost back to normal (well, health-wise, anyway).fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger 11.12.17 4 resized
  2. The people who were so kind and thoughtful and helpful when I was sick this year. I felt an outpouring of love and support that I’ve never experienced before and for that I am thankful. Cuz I really needed it!fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger 11.12.17 6 resized
  3. I’m so thankful that Caleb is still with me. Last year about this time I never would have expected it, but with the support of good friends and some miraculous meds, he’s still going. fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger 11.12.17 2 resized
  4. I’m thankful that my daughter (while too far away from her Mama) is doing well. Well-employed, self-sufficient, making friends wherever she goes, traveling. She’s doing all right, that kid of mine. I’m so so proud of her.fashion schlub bettye rainwater plus size fashion blogger 11.12.17 8 resized
  5. I’m thankful for my new apartment…and hand-in-hand with that, for my friend who bought this house and invited me to move here. I feel so so good here. It’s a wonderful sanctuary.

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What are *you* thankful for??

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This is a perfect “just slightly chilly” fall outfit. The floral top is a sleeveless summer top that is always flattering as it does not cling to lumps and bumps, it hangs away from the body slightly, which is perfect if you have a bit of a tummy. The duster cardigan is a lightweight fleece that is cozy but not too warm. Skinny jeans and taupe booties round out this easy-to-wear outfit.

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What I’m Wearing

Thanks to my friend/landlady/photographer Karen for taking these pictures!

I’m linking up today with Emma Peach over at Style Splash for her “Style with a Smile” linkup – go take a look at her site for great style ideas for us…uhm…EXPERIENCED ladies 🙂 as well as all the other linked-up blogs!

Week in Review: Week 91

Well, better than last week but still not a ton of excitement.

More wig photos. Can’t stop won’t stop.


Got my wireless shutter release to “help” with selfies. Ack.


Actually, in the end, it had to go back cuz it didn’t have the right cable for my camera. I’ve already got the new one.

This week’s Gwynnie Bee. Uhm, no. I love it in theory. But it’s just too…too everything on me. It’s gone back and I already have the replacement.


I’ve actually been feeling a little energetic and like I *want* to walk! So Caleb and I went for a very slow walk around our very small block (it’s only .3mile around). My feet were hurting, but *he* was really really struggling near the end. He just can’t do outings anymore like he used to. Anyway, there are so many pretty houses in this area.


That one reminded me of mine and my husband’s second house, The Money Pit. I LOVED that house. But. We just couldn’t stay there long.


I love graphic tees. I just don’t like the sayings I always see in the stores. I mean, they’re fine and all, but it’s not what *I* want to wear on *my* body. But this one caught my eye on Instagram. If only it came in plus sizes.


I’m still looking for several pieces of furniture for the apartment so I can finally finish unpacking! One is a bedroom dresser – wider than high, vintage but not fancy, doesn’t have to be perfect, but. I liked this one at the thrift store but…SIX HUNDRED NINETY-EIGHT DOLLARS?!? Are they INSANE?? It’s pretty and all but not in good condition, look at all the missing veneer on the top right edge and along the bottom. Sheesh.


My boy went to the groomer yesterday and got his hairs did and now he is very handsome. He’s showing off to the passers-by on the street.


I came across this picture from November 2014. I miss being able to go on outings and adventures with him.

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And this was a very nice quiet weekend. I’ve been doing some more unpacking and a little cleaning, going through old photos…just random productive things but taking it slow. It feels good to finally be able to do things and not be exhausted after just a few minutes.

OH, I went to the dr this week for my 2-month checkup. My blood levels are almost back to normal, which I could tell by the way I feel…but I told him about my feet and how they were still really bothersome with the neuropathy. He prescribed something and I’m 3 days on it and feel no difference yet. Guh. Anyway, I go back in March for scans to make sure I’m still all clean in there.

A short week ahead with the holiday, so yay. Do you have Thanksgiving plans?


Week in Review: Week 87

Feeling better every week so I’m getting out more and back to my normal activities, YAY.

Last Sunday some friends and I drove up to Tarrytown, NY to visit Lyndhurst Castle and the Tarrytown/Sleepy Hollow lighthouse.

Of course we needed trip snacks.


Lyndhurst Castle


There was a lot of walking. I can keep going if I can keep stopping to rest.




The long walk to the lighthouse was worth it.


I was terrified at walking across this bridge. Bridges not my thing. When I drive over them I have to stay really focused on NOT steering the car over the edge. It’s weird. Does anyone else have that? Walking across not much better, especially when they’re these grate-bottomed ones that you can see through. Terr. If. Fying. But I did it!


Got this Lucky Brand dress from Gwynnie Bee on Monday. Nope. It was cute but overall too small. I felt like I was wearing a little girl’s dress. Back it went and had another one in a couple days.


Managed to get one Outfit of the Day posted on Instagram. I still haven’t figured out the good photo spots in the apartment so I haven’t done many OOTDs since I’ve been here.


Went in search of sunset and/or foliage a couple afternoons.


One day Caleb and I went to a new place but the trail started out as SUCH a narrow rocky steep hill that it was really challenging for us both…and we finally reached a point where he was just DONE. His butt plunked down on the ground and he wouldn’t or couldn’t get up. I got a little scared thinking what if I have to carry this dog back down that hill?? I sat down and rested with him for a bit then I managed to get him up and turned around and we descended VERY slowly. It was a little harrowing for us both but we survived. A little further down that same road we found a spot a little better suited to our needs and we just sat on the beach til the sky turned pink then we went home.


Ooh! My ThredUp purchase arrived! Excited to try it on later…


Trying to soak up the last bits of afternoon daylight before we set the clocks back in a few weeks. Can anyone tell me WHY we still change the clocks for Daylight Savings Time??

Bettye xoxo