Why does it seem that every post starts “I can’t believe it’s already ___!!!” Ha. Well, I can’t. Believe it’s July. Fortunately, it hasn’t gotten super hot yet, cuz…clothes. As usual, there was a lot of buying and returning.

HERE’S WHAT I KEPT

J Crew Classic Fit Cotton Voile Shirt in Rose Vines, size 24

This was another ShopTagr success. where I waited til it was on super sale then I grabbed it.

It’s lovely. If I can find a seamstress (R&%$GF$@#!) I would have them cut the slits up the sides a little bit more to release the slight snugness at my tummy/hips. I need that done to a white linen shirt from last year, too, but I never found a seamstress! I just saw someone new mentioned in Nextdoor Neighborhood, so I’m going to reach out to here…and maybe this time it won’t fall through.

I have thoughts on styling this shirt so I’m going to save more detail for that post.

EveryWear Striped Plus-Size V-Neck Tee, size 3x

I had bought and returned the 4x of this shirt last month and I was prepared to do without it. But then…someone at work was wearing it under a blue chambray button-down and then I had to have it. Fortunately, it was still available and I was able to get the 3x, which is a better fit. It will probably be part of my 4th of July outfit…not that I need a particular outfit to stay home alone, ha ha.

CAMPIA MODA Men Hawaiian Vintage Shirt 100 Rayon Size XXL EU 68-72 Tall Big

In my defense (you’ll understand when you finish reading this post), I bought this before I bought the H&M men’s tee shirts.

I bought it secondhand off ebay so I’m not going to return it because it’s not perfect. The fit is CLOSE, but it needs some alterations to make it just right. I think if it’s shortened I’ll lose a lot of the “too snug” section, and if the sleeves are shortened they won’t look so overwhelmingly MAN-SIZED.

I can hear Jodie saying, “why can’t you just cuff them?” I’ll tell you why ha ha. The inside of the fabric is that annoying lighter shade of the outward-facing color and I don’t like when that is showing (if avoidable). I’ve tried cuffing and first, they need a lot of cuffing so it’s bulky, and second, the cuff would be lighter than the rest of the shirt. But if they’re cut and hemmed I think they’ll look fine.

I’M STILL ON THE FENCE ABOUT…

I feel like I’ve been buying and returning linen slacks for the past umpteen years. It was such a loss when my ancient khaki pair finally bit the dust a couple years back and I’ve never managed to replace them. Not for lack of trying!

So right now I have six pairs of linen pants over THERE, waiting to be tried on AGAIN, all at the same time, so I can do a comparison. Most require alterations, so again, I’m dependent on finding someone to do alterations. And pant length can be tricky…and no I can’t do it myself, bending over to fold up flimsy linen? In THIS economy? Nope. I guess this is why people have boyfriends? Maybe? I dunno.

I think I might do a Linen Pant Try-On Video and then I’ll have pictures as well.

Ugh, ha ha, I feel ill-prepared for this post!

Anyway, these are what I currently have and why they’re not WINNERS right out of the box.

Jessica London Drawstring Linen Pants, size 22

I think I shared these in the May What I Bought and they’re still hanging around waiting for a decision. I so love the colors I really want them to work. I started buying the Old Navy pants (below) to see if they’d be a better fit and not require alteration HA HA HA HA. WITH THESE LEGS??

High-Waisted Linen-Blend Straight Cropped Plus-Size Pants size 3x

I got these in flax and black but the black is so sold out it’s not even on the site anymore for a picture. The length on these was…do-able…without alteration OH THE JOY…but (sigh)…they’re big in the tummy-hips…and linen stretches out like crazy so they’d get EVEN larger. So I went back to order them in the next size down but they were all sold out so I had to go with another style…see below…

High-Waisted Wide-Leg Linen-Blend Plus-Size Pants size 2x

I got these when the previous purchases seemed a little large (I can’t get used to that and still always want to buy the largest size available). The exact ones in the smaller size were sold out so I went for these that looked to be cropped length…but because I’m such a shorty-short-shorty they’re STILL too long and need shortening. They DO fit better in the hips-tummy. I ALMOST wonder if I could go down one MORE size, which might make the length okay. But they don’t have either color in a 1x anymore, so.

I got them in both the flax (beige) and the celandine (mustardy gold) colors.

THIS IS WHAT I RETURNED

J Crew Relaxed Fit Short Sleeve Baird McNutt Irish Linen Shirt, 3x

I’ve been looking for some loose-fitting linen tops to go over the linen pants that I can’t decide on. Ha. But this was an odd fit. Sort of mannish, with broad shoulders and slim hips. Even worn unbuttoned over a tee (which I don’t necessarily have to be stuck with in the heat of summer) it was just not a good fit for me.

I think I was drinking (kidding) the day I placed this H&M order (below). Cuz it’s a weird one. And everything went back due to sizing issues or “what the hell was I thinking” issues. But after this order, I HOPE I can control my urge to continue buying men’s shirts cuz They. Just. Do. Not. Work. For. Me. Which is unfortunate because they have superior colors and graphics to women’s shirts (to me) (at least in my size range).

H&M Slacks, size 22

Two things were behind these seemingly uncharacteristic purchases.

One: Kim Taehyung, ha ha. He’s always there in my mind: “WWKTHD”? And I want to have more pattern for the fall/winter and I’m trying to move away from “just jeans.”

Second: after the Old Navy linen pant sizing fiasco, I thought maybe I could size down in a trouser. And they were not TERRIBLE. The best part was they were consistently “just a little small” over the entire garment. Not like, well, if I get them bigger in the butt then the waist will be too big, etc. It seemed like if they were 2″ larger overall, they’d have been perfect. But the next size up was sold out in both pairs.

I video’d the whole H&M try-on so you’ll be able to see fit in an upcoming post.

H&M Pull-On Slacks, size 3xl

Bleh. The fit was less consistent than the patterned trousers so a different size didn’t seem like it was going to help. Also, in a lighter-colored “non-jean” pant, they need to be looser on my legs. Also (ha), pull-on rarely a win for me.

H&M Relaxed (Men’s) Tee Shirt, XXL

Yes, I bought three of the same shirt. But the colors! But it was the usual: way too big in shoulders/chest/sleeve and way too small in hips/tummy. I thought the “relaxed fit” might help, but no.

STOP IT, BETTYE!!!

Men’s shirts do not fit me Men’s shirts do not fit me Men’s shirts do not fit me

The lilac stripe one in particular I WAS DYING FOR. I’ve been obsessed with lilac this year and Just Picture It Under the J Crew Classic Fit Cotton Voile Shirt in Rose Vines, gah. Perfect.

H&M Bambi Graphic Tee, size 3xl

Okay, true confession. While, yes, I have been wanting more graphic tees, I’m not really a “Disney character” person. But. Hee hee. Min Yoongi (you’ll never guess what band he’s in) once said that he thought the word “Bambi” meant “deer” in English. KEKEKEKE Is that not the CUTEST?!? I just can’t with them. Anyway. Had to have the shirt.

Sadly, while the fit was not TERRIBLE (as oversized tees go), it really wasn’t doing anything for me and Bambi was returned.

H&M Mickey Sweater, size 3xl

I am not a Disney person I am not a Disney person I am not a Disney person

And yet…I thought this just kooky enough that I had to try it. And really, it wasn’t bad. The fit was loose, lightweight, and stretchy. It was the collar. The crew “band” was very wide and like sat up against the side of my neck in a weird way. It was weird. If the neck had been less weird I think I would have kept it cuz it was super comfy and I thought it was funny.

H&M V-Neck Sweater Vest, size 3xl

I have been hunting for oversized knit vests since last winter, so imagine my delight when I found this in my size.

Imagine my disappointment when, instead of sending my much-awaited vest, they sent me a pair of black sweat-shorts. Sigh. Life. Amiright??

Obvi the shorts went back and I ordered the vest AGAIN. It hasn’t arrived yet, so it will probably be in next month’s What I Bought.

WRAPPING IT UP

PHEW! That was a lot of purchasing for only keeping three things (so far; I still need to make a decision on the linen pants). This was a bit of an “out there” month, with the patterned slacks and Disney items. But sometimes it’s good to TRY something different. I would have kept the patterned slacks if I could have gotten my size.

I feel like all I’m really still looking for for summer is:

  • white(ish) crochet(ish) cropped cardigan to go over a couple dresses. I HAD one but where is it now? It’s anybody’s guess.
  • A couple loose-fitting linen tops for when it gets REALLY hot. That’s all I’ll want to wear.
  • If I keep any of the wide-legged linen pants they need some sort of “up off the ground” shoe, like a chunky sneaker or platform slide or sandal.

It never ends.

Does it ever end?

It never ends.

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