Holiday Survival Guide for Introverts
I just came back from spending Thanksgiving in South Carolina with family, and while the holidays are lovely, with traditions, special meals, family gatherings, etc., it can be A Lot. Especially if you’re someone who is introverted with High Alone Time Needs. Like me. But there’s no reason you should struggle during what is supposed to be The Most Wonderful Time of the Year…if you just keep some things in mind.
You Can Say No
To invitations, to guests, to requests for help.It’s not selfish to take care of yourself. It’s like on the airplane when the flight steward instructs those traveling with small children to put their oxygen masks on first, before assisting their child. If you pass out, you won’t be able to help anyone. It’s the same on the ground – if you don’t take care of yourself first, at least some of the time, you’ll have nothing left for anyone else. So if you feel like you have enough on your plate already, don’t feel you must accept more invitations or requests. You don’t.
PLAN YOUR ESCAPE
Let your guests or hosts know ahead of time that when you start to feel like You’ve Had Enough, you may disappear for just a little bit. Go for a walk (fresh air always helps), do a ten-minute meditation, read, lie down with your eyes closed. If you don’t feel comfortable being so open about hiding out then offer to walk the dog, run to the store for last-minute items, take out the trash or pick up others from the airport.
Don’t Rush
When traveling, get to the airport/station ahead of schedule so you can avoid the last-minute check-in crowds, find yourself a quiet spot at the gate, and board early so you can get settled in your seat and set yourself up with book or earbuds or closed eyes, deterring any neighborly chatting from your aisle-mate.
Shop Online
Whether gift or grocery shopping, you can do it all online these days, avoiding the crowds at the mall and check-out lines.
Opt Out
It may sound drastic, and you may end up with FOMO sitting home alone on the actual holiday, but if a big gathering is just really causing you anxiety, then opt out. Offer your guests or host another option at a less chaotic time. Arrange to meet for a coffee catch-up, just the two of you, the week after Thanksgiving. Or fly out-of-state to see family when travel is cheaper after the holidays – they’ll have more time to spend with you then and it will probably make for a better visit.
If you’re someone who struggles being around a lot of people for extended periods of time, maybe give some of these suggestions a try during the upcoming holidays. Let me know if they helped!
The Outfit
This is the outfit I wore for Thanksgiving dinner. The white jeans are a little dressier than blue denim, and the top is lightweight and loose, allowing me to hide the food baby after dinner. It’s a chiffon-like fabric over a silky cami, with not-annoyingly-large bell sleeves. I always think bell sleeves are a little fancier than a straight sleeve, don’t you? It’s very floaty, so it’s nice on its own or under a cardigan…and with the colors in it, I can wear it under several different cardigans I have for multiple outfit options.
The Location
We shot both on the dock in my sister’s Cat Island, South Carolina backyard, as well as the ruins of Old Sheldon Church in Beaufort County, South Carolina. The building was originally known as Prince William’s Parish Church. The church was built as a chapel in the English Georgian style between 1745 and 1753. It is believed to have been burned by the British in 1779 during the Revolutionary War, rebuilt in 1826, and then burned again in 1865 during the Civil War.
The ruins lie among majestic oaks dripping with live Spanish moss and scattered graves, both above and below ground. Inside the ruins of the church lie the remains of Colonel William Bull, who “greatly assisted General Oglethorpe in establishing the physical layout of Savannah, Georgia. Bull surveyed the land in 1733 to form the basic grid pattern of the streets and squares.” In recent times the ruins have been a popular site for photographers and wedding ceremonies.
What I Wore
- Given Kale bell-sleeve tunic top, size 3x. Via Gwynnie Bee. Comparable here and here.
- Gloria Vanderbilt Amanda white jeans, size 22w short
- New Balance grey Arishi trainers
I’m linking-up today with Emma of Style Splash
Thanks to my wonderful daughter Katie for the pictures. She was a delight to spend time with over the holiday.
This post contains affiliate links, which means that I may receive a small commission if you click on them and/or buy something as a result of clicking that link.
Clover
Great suggestions! You’ve got this holiday stuff sorted!
Your hair looks fab. It gives me motivation as I grow out a buzz cut.
Thank you for getting its and it’s right. That soothes my soul. 😉
bettyewp
Thanks, Clover (I love your name)!
Gah, my hair! It’s so crazy right now! Every day is a new adventure. But I’m determined to not touch it through the winter and let it grow enough that by spring there’s enough to work with to get an actual style. We’ll see. The back, along my neck MAKES. ME. CRAZY.
“Its” – the non-conjunction one – is always a little confusing to me. It is = It’s is fine. But when it’s about possession, “the bird fluffs its feathers in the cold weather,” I’m always second guessing myself. It just seems odd. Cuz usually possession USES the apostrophe – “Bettye’s bird.” It’s one of those “it’s more a guideline than a rule” rule than can be so confusing! But glad your soul is soothed 🙂
Clover
Thank you. 🙂
Well, your hair is very pretty and has nice movement. I’ll try what you’re doing and just. let. it. grow. for a bit.
Haha! Right. Just lump “its” in with “hers”, “his”, “theirs”, and “ours” and it’ll be fine.
bettyewp
Yeah, it’s so hard to just do nothing when hair gets into those awkward stages. So. Hard.
Nancy
I didn’t think you were a introvert. I don’t like to be in crowded places. Gerben doesn’t either, so that mixes good! Haha, but I do love to spend the holidays with friends and family.
bettyewp
Oh, I am very much an introvert. I spend a LOT (a LOT) of time by myself, and I need that…or I just feel…beaten down in my brain and heart.
When I was young I was quite shy. I wouldn’t say I’m exactly SHY anymore, it’s not something most people would even notice. I can carry on a conversation (more or less, ha) and don’t hide behind the curtains anymore when I see people, but I do have some social anxiety and get tongue-tied and brain-fogged. And as soon as I am (mercifully) alone, relief just washes over me.
I’m MUCH better over the internet, because, oddly enough, “social media” is like being social…but with the “social” aspect removed. Know what I mean? I can be sociable with people from the comfort of my own home. I can hide, I can delete, I can take time to craft responses. I can say whatever I want to say and if I’m not comfortable with the responses I can just walk away. It’s like the perfect world for me 🙂
I DO like spending time with friends and family as well, but…I need MORE time by myself. My good friends are used to me standing up while we’re all in the middle of enjoying conversation and one another’s company and saying, “I’m done, goodnight,” and leaving. Ha.
It’s nice that you and Gerben complement one another so nicely. I think mixing extroverts and introverts together can be quite challenging.
Samantha Blair
I hear you Bettye!
I’m also what you’d call an introvert… although I do love company and don’t feel shy talking to new people, I MUCH prefer quiet, my own company and peace.
A perfect day would involve very few interactions with others.
Even as I type this the house is in silence (apart from the whirring of the heating) and I love it.
I love your outfit here… that blouse really suits you but made me shiver a little!
I’d definitely need a few thermals… oh, and a jumper!! Hahahahaha
XXX
Samantha
bettyewp
It’s pretty mild in South Carolina – was high 50s (F) that day, so I was fine. I run hot!
Yeah, I love the days where I just stay home alone. But I do start to get a little squirrely after a couple days of that. I LIKE being alone, it’s just not always so good for me 🙂
Stay warm! Thanks for stopping by, Samantha!
jodie filogomo
I always have issues with the big parties if I don’t know people. If it’s people I already know, then it’s much easier. I also will help out in the kitchen if it’s needed so I can be doing something (and munching at the same time…LOL)
As for the airport, we always get there early. We’d rather be waiting there than running and missing our plane. That’s why it’s important to find someone who travels like you do…otherwise, ugh!
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
bettyewp
There are a lot of mismatched couples out there!
Heather Taylor
This is great advice! Thank you! Also your pictures are amazing! Your daughter did a great job.
bettyewp
Thanks, Heather. We bicker a bit when we shoot together, but…at least we get good pictures!
julia
Excellent suggestions! I’m an extrovert but I find myself slipping away into a quiet room to pet a cat when it’s just too much. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a little quiet time to balance the loud conversation and physical work of hosting a party. And sometimes I take quiet time beforehand to “gear up” for the onslaught.
So, your outfit is perfect for Thanksgiving and your photos are gorgeous! Excellent locations, very photogenic backgrounds, excellent composition. I’m glad you had fun and now onto the next holiday!
bettyewp
Speaking of the next holiday, I had great news today, it looks like Katie is coming home for at least a few days at Christmas, after all! We’ll do our Christmas on 12.23, then I’ll join her at her father’s for Christmas Eve…then she flies home (well, her NEW home) on Christmas morning – boo. But it’s better than nothing!
Susan Marinelli
You and I are very similar, Bettye. I am an extroverted introvert, and my Alone Time Quotient is extremely high. Suffice to say, I can’t interact successfully with others until my ATQ is satisfied, then I am lots of fun!
Knowing that about myself, I generally plan my escape methods around Halloween, so when someone drops by, or calls at the last minute, I am not caught off balance. It is the same method I use when planning outfits 😀
And believe me, I CAN say no!
Loving your outfit and your hair. And your daughter is gorgeous!
bettyewp
I think this is the disappeared message! Funny, I tried responding to your comment ABOUT this message, and it wouldn’t let me send it.
I just hide when people stop by 🙂 Literally. And I rarely answer the phone. But THIS I like 🙂
Susan Marinelli
Hmm, I posted on this earlier, but my comment vanished.
bettyewp
Well, boo.
Cheryl Tucker
I am an extreme introvert and understand all you are saying. I always plan ahead when hosting or attending an event but know it will take me a couple of days to get my energy back. I love being around people and I love people in general but I need my quiet time too. I would say a 20/80% ratio. 80% of my time happily alone. I never get bored because there is so much to see and do in this world. My favorite book for introverts is “Quiet, The Power Of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.” All your tips are spot on! Have a wonderful rest of the week.
Peace!
Cheryl
bettyewp
Ooh, I’ll have to look for that book, thanks for the recommendation. And yeah, I never understand when people say they’re bored. Left to my own devices, I am NEVER bored. I happen to find myself really great company, ha ha. But tell me to SIT THERE and not give me the freedom to do my own thing…and yeah. Snooze-fest.
Iris
Loved the post – especially loved YOUR HAIR and the top you’re wearing. The hair looks great in every picture.
I don’t think of any of the active bloggers as introverts. Perhaps it’s easier to write it on a computer than be ‘in person’. Surely don’t think of you as an introvert 🙂
I’m not sure that I qualify for either extrovert or introvert. Kinda depends on the situation I guess. I had a houseful for Thanksgiving and not much ‘me’ time – but don’t get to see family that often, so it was okay. Am traveling to visit kids for Christmas – haven’t done that in a LONG time, so we’ll see how that goes.
Grace & Peace, Iris
http://www.IrisOriginalsRamblings.com