“Accepting oneself does not preclude an attempt to become better” ~ Flannery O’Connor

There’s an attitude in the plus size/body positivity/fat acceptance communities, that if one accepts oneself (or others) exactly as they are, then why would you try to change something about yourself? I struggle with this concept, and I read the words of others who do, as well.

I’ve lost some weight over the past six months. I originally started just being mindful of carb intake and portion sizes…and then I gave up added sugar for a short time to see if that would help my hip pain. It did not. BUT. The results of those three things have made it easier for me to stand up out of a chair. To walk from here to there. To go up a flight of stairs. Oh my gosh, am I rhyming again?  My clothes feel better. Finding clothes that fit has been easier. EVERYTHING feels a little bit easier.

Losing weight is not just about looks. It’s not about trying to be “better” by being smaller. Because smaller is NOT “better.” Feeling Good is better. Making the things you have to do in your life easier is better. Feeling the way you want to feel is better.

Certainly, we need to accept all bodies just the way they are – big, small, tall, short, thin, smooth, lumpy, round, brown, yellow, spotted, mottled, abled, disabled. No one body type is better or more beautiful than the others. Acceptance is important, as body shaming (of any type of body) has been shown to cause disturbing long-term effects such as negative body image, depression, anxiety, and eating disorders.

We need to be able to accept our own bodies. And sometimes this can be harder than accepting the bodies of others.

A huge step in creating a world of more acceptance is being inclusive of body diversity. The more we see something, the more we become accustomed to it. Movies, tv, magazines, advertisements – they all need to continue upping their game as far as body inclusivity. It’s better than it was just a few years ago. But there’s so much further to go.

My soapbox is veering me a bit off course here. All these things are so closely tied together. What I’m trying to say is, YES, you can accept yourself, love yourself, accept your body…and still want it to be different. You’re not “letting the team down” to want your body to be stronger, to feel better, to help it help you.

It makes me sad to hear about others who are struggling with this. Like life isn’t enough of a struggle! You can be however you want to be! THAT is acceptance.

Okay, off my soapbox 🙂

Whatcha wearing, Bettye? Why, I thought you’d never ask!

This black plaid blazer you’ve seen before here. I’ve been wearing it as a jacket sometimes when the weather is right (not too warm, not too cold). Black turtleneck to keep me warm. I’m very into black as a base layer lately. Cropped skinny jeans – that are starting to show signs of the inner seam wearing out OH NO. So I’m on the hunt for a new skinny jean. And my golden yellow scarf from TJ Maxx ages ago. A cheapy but a favorite, it brightens up even the most drab outfits. And the cognac bag that has turned out not to be the bag of my dreams, so I’m the hunt again for that and I’ll resell this one on Poshmark.

I wore this outfit out to lunch on Saturday with She Who Shall Remain Nameless and she was kind enough to take outfit pictures for me on a windy, cold afternoon.

What I’m Wearing

There’s always one….

Photos by She Who Shall Remain Nameless, thank you very much!

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