Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone
I usually play it pretty safe with my style. Neutral colors, classic pieces. But sometimes I step outside my comfort zone a bit because something glittery caught my eye…or, more than likely these days, I saw a blogger wear it and I thought I MUST HAVE THAT (hence, the term “influencer,” ha ha).
That doesn’t mean it’s EASY. Wanting something is easy. Buying it is easy. Trying it on in the privacy of your own home is easy. Sharing pictures All Over The Internet of yourself in something so unlike what you normally wear – is hard. Actually wearing it outside the house in public is very hard. Even harder to wear it around people you know.
I’m experiencing all this right now with these Spanx faux leather leggings. I’m sure anyone who knows me in real life is going, WAIT, WHAT?!! Ha. I am SO not a faux leather legging person. But I saw these literally all over the internet – on straight and plus size bloggers. Maddy Gutierrez is who really shoved me off the ledge and I Had To Have Them. They were even sold out for awhile and I waited patiently then jumped on them when they became available again.
I thought, I wear leggings. I have no problem wearing leggings in public. I wear leggings a LOT. I thought these would just look slightly more elevated, not so “I just came from the gym.” And I thought they’d be warmer than regular leggings and perfect for winter.
So I got them, put them on…and went. Oh. Whoa. Uhm, okay. I committed myself to keeping them by shooting them for the National post. And in pictures…OH. WHOA. They’re so SHINY! They never looked THIS shiny when I saw them on other people! Did I get the EXTRA shiny ones? Was anything EVER this shiny?
BUT. I own them. They fit me. They FEEL good. I LOVE the way they look with this navy poncho turtleneck. So. I need to wear them.
And here’s how you step outside your comfort zone (if you’re a self-conscious chicken like me)…BABY STEPS. You wear them at home (check). You take pictures of yourself in them (check). You go out in public where you probably won’t know anyone…and you can leave as quickly as you want. Like the grocery store. The post office. In and out. Anonymous.
If you don’t DIE (and guess what, you WON’T), then…wear them with friends. GOOD friends. Friends to whom you have told the whole long saga of ending up with something you like but you’re scared to wear outside the house. Friends who won’t judge you. Friends who’ll be supportive and lie say things like “you look great!” or “shiny leggings? WHAT shiny leggings? Oh gosh, I hadn’t even noticed them!”
After that, wear them out in the final frontier: mixed company. Cuz seriously, who cares what those people think? THEY’RE probably not brave, confident, or fashion-forward enough to wear tight, shiny pants out in public, so…who’s the winner here? YOU ARE!!!
Congratulations. You have stepped outside your comfort zone. Next time will be even easier!
What I’m Wearing
- Spanx Faux Leather Leggings, size 3x Petite
- Loft Blue Poncho Turtleneck, size 24/26. No longer available. Comparable here and here.
- Avenue Black Ankle Boots, old, so old. Comparable here and here.
My apologies for fiendish focus point. It was not being my friend that day.
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Melissa
You look great! And I adore your new leggings!! 😁
bettyewp
Thanks, Melissa! They’re kinda fun, right??
Marian
Great pep talk on having courage. Especially around the holidays where us conservatives worry if we look too shiny or sparkly. You think you’ve got your style nailed and then one new thing makes you as self conscious as a tween in her first pair of heels.
You look radiant and lovely.
bettyewp
Thank you, Marian. Ah yes, those dam*ned shiny holidays throw us all off! And a holiday with FAMILY is probably the HARDEST test for wearing something you’re self-conscious in. That’s where the PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE comes in!
Amy
You look great! You’ve got me thinking that this could be a possibility for me. You look so very lovely!
bettyewp
Thanks, Amy! Yeah, it took me seeing them on a LOT of people (including other plus-sized ladies) before it occurred to me that maybe MAYBE I could wear them, too.
You can do it!
Karen
You look fantastic! I hope you will be wearing them more often as they look great on you. You are seriously tempting me into trying a pair. But as someone who is apple shaped and short (5′) I worry about the waistband cutting into my stomach and rolling down when I sit. But you look great and the items you chose to pair them with (navy sweater and black boots) create a very put together look.
bettyewp
They ARE long. Well, no, they’re HIGH (and I got the petite!). So I have to fold the wide waistband over so it stays more or less at my waist. But hmm, you raise an interesting point – I’m not sure if I’ve tried SITTING in them yet.
Goal for the week: Sit in Faux Leather Leggings.
Michelle
Lookin’ good! ! I like the blue/black combo. I never think to put navy and black together, but it’s a very elegant pairing.
I have the opposite problem. I love clothes that stand out, and I often antagonize over an outfit, wondering, “does this make me look too normal”? I’ve toned it down a bit as I’ve gotten older, but I’ve still got 20 year old me whispering in my ear whenever I go shopping. She’s talked me into some questionable stuff. 🙂
bettyewp
Oh yeah, LOVE navy and black, I think it’s so chic.
“Does this make me look too normal?” I Love That! Describe a “normal” not normal outfit if yours!
Michelle
I developed a boho/goth aesthetic in college, and have mostly stuck to it. That feels normal to me. In the summer, I pretty much live in these Free People dresses and platform sandals or booties: https://www.freepeople.com/wishlist/e01e1416-b80c-44d1-afd7-da111fc4d6a8/?page=2 In winter I wear a mix of stuff – lots of black and textures – velvet, leather, suede, and always boots, not shoes. I also like statement accessories. Nothing too over the top anymore (I used to get most of my clothes from vintage shops and the Renaissance Faire). I could not wear something like a Breton top and chinos. I would feel really odd in that.
Michelle
I think I put in the wrong link: https://www.freepeople.com/shop/embroidered-fable-midi-dress/?category=wishlist&color=046&size=XS&type=REGULAR
jodie filogomo
Girl…look at you go!! Here’s me cheering you on because you are a shiny and wonderful person. And it’s about time your outsides matched your insides!!!
LOVE THEM (I’m hoping that was obvious in the first sentence).
XOOX
Jodie
bettyewp
Ha, ha, I Am A Shiny & Wonderful Person. I Am A Shiny & Wonderful Person. I’ll just keep repeating that til I (maybe) believe it!
Val
Looking really great these days Bettye. There seems to be an extra glow about you and I’m loving the bolder styles you’re wearing. xx
bettyewp
Thanks, Val. I think the glow is DAMPNESS, because it seems like it is ALWAYS RAINING lately!