Week in Review posts keep getting longer and longer. Since I’m doing less, I’m thinking more.

Note: the pictures throughout are from my day in the city with Katie cuz that’s really the only thing I did this week. That wasn’t just in my head.

MONDAY

I do. I do heart NY.

Grammys: The Morning After

I think I finally understand how sports people feel when their team loses. BTS did not win the Grammy for the Pop Duo/Group Performance. I feel so disappointed for them.

I was so excited when they started reading the nominees for the category that I literally jumped up and stood right in front of the tv. When he said, “And the winner is,” the first word he said was “rain” and for like 2-3 seconds I thought, “huh, that’s not the right word,” before I realized he WAS saying the right word, just for a different nominee.

I stood there for probably a full minute, just feeling deflated.

Like I said, I feel disappointed for THEM. They work SO HARD, and especially during 2020 when they were unable to stay connected to fans through live concerts. They put out TWO great albums, had TWO #1 singles, and put out SO much new content continuously for their fans.

I know all the nominated artists are talented, and I know they all work hard to excel at their craft. I’m not knocking the winners (Arianna Grande and Lady Gaga) and I’m not dissing the Grammys (much, ha, just for that pre-show nonsense). There’s a lot of Grammy hate going on right now around the “fandom.” Oh jeez when did I become this person.

I have just two more things to say, then I’ll move on.

1. They really showed their stuff by staying up til the awards were announced, which in South Korea was 3am-ish. They went through hair, makeup, wardrobe to sit together in a room and watch the awards in the wee hours of the morning, so they could accept the award “live” (streaming) if they won. Cuz the fans would want to see and share in that moment.

I watched a very little bit of the show before and after their category, and many winners didn’t appear at all, and someone on set would accept the award on their behalf. I understand that people have lives – but winning a Grammy seems like a big deal, no? I just thought it showed such respect for the ceremony to go the extra mile and “be there” (as “there” as you can be when live streaming) like that.

2. I’m kind of glad it *was* socially distanced and they were able to hear the news sitting in a room together, but not in a packed audience. It can be hard to bear disappointment publicly and I’m glad that, at the very least, they were spared that part of it.

Their live reaction *was* streamed but I only saw a few seconds of it this morning…and the beauty of streaming is that you can always edit or turn the cameras off if you want. I heard later that there were 6 MILLION 700 THOUSAND other people watching it, too! Holy CRAP that’s a lot of people! I heard later the site crashed, but…come on. That’s a lot of people.

No, I’m not turning over garbage cans or starting a petition or using the “scammies” hashtag. Ha. I’m a fan, but I’m also an adult (more or less, ha). They’ll continue working hard and being the lovely humans that they are and…oh god…Life Goes On.

TUESDAY

Stanton Near Forsyth St by Martin Wong, 1983

Haircut and all the accompanying anxiety. Went to a new person as my usual guy is MIA and I’m already a month past due. She cut it dry which was weird and made me nervous but it turned out fine. I told her to just follow the lines of the cut that was already there and just shorten it a bit. I’m actually ready to make a little change but I’ll wait for Usual Guy to return for that big adventure.

Feeling shocked and outraged and saddened and helpless after the shootings tonight in Atlanta. There’s a lot going on here. I’m sure more information will be available shortly, But sadly, it puts violence against Asian people back in the news.

You know I have a special place in my heart for Asian culture and people (have I ever told y’all the full story of that? spoiler alert: it did not start with tiktok)..so the rise in hate crimes against Asian people is making me particularly…sad? disheartened? disappointed in America? All of the above? And frustrated, cuz what do you DO? Donate to organizations fighting against this violence and hatred? Yes. Sign petitions? Yes. But…none of that feels like enough.

There’s already a hashtag trending: #StopAsianHate – but I never really know how to use these types of hashtags properly. Like, I am not an Asian creator, I don’t post Asian content…I do share a lot of Asian content from other creators, but for ME to use that hashtag feels wrong. Like, if someone wound up on my Instagram or TikTok feed cuz they followed that hashtag they’d be like “this is just an old white lady wearing clothes (ha), what does this have to do with #StopAsianHate??” Even when Asian creators say things like “amplify our voices,” I don’t know exactly what that MEANS (just as I didn’t re Black Lives Matter). Sharing their content on my feed to spread their message almost feels…self-serving to me? Like I’m doing it for the clout of “hey look, I’m a part of this significant thing.” It just doesn’t feel right to me. But ignoring it on social and saying nothing also doesn’t feel right, cuz I actually DO have an audience.

I don’t know. This requires a lot more think.

WEDNESDAY

I don’t remember the whole story, but…the tall jars are filled with the artist’s hair and the small jars, her nail clippings

Getting a little frustrated at my jump-rope plateau. I haven’t been able to get past 39, though I hit the high 20s and low 30s more frequently now. So I’m changing up my training. Until now I just try a couple times to hit my target…usually, once I get one run in the 20s or 30s, my legs are shot and I’m done. So I’m going to try something different for the coming week.

Since my next goal is 50, instead of just trying to jump as long as I can…I’m going to do five sets of 10 jumps. Jump 10x, stop. Jump 10x, stop. Etc.  That way I’ll GET to 50, just not all at one time. My legs will still be getting the strengthening of 50 jumps but I won’t have that “oh crap, i’m at 24, 25, my legs are getting weak, 27, 28, uh-oh, 29, hit the rope” issue. In theory, this makes great sense to me. Let’s call it interval training 🙂 I’ll let you know next week how it goes.

THURSDAY

Bettye and Katie at the museum

Katie + Art = Art

I GOT TO SPEND THE DAY WITH KATIE!!! And it was good.

We’d had a full city day planned, with a museum, lunch, and bakery/coffee…before I was to drop her at the train so she could continue her trip to her cousin’s bachelorette party in…either upstate NY or NJ, ha, there were so many details of her travels I lost the end of the story. ANYWAY, the forecast for the day was rain rain and more rain, torrential at times, more rain than has ever rained before. Sigh.

BUT…we stuck with our original plans and were fortunate to get parking, Starbucks, museum, and lunch all within a 2-block radius – WIN. And even when we collected the car after lunch and drove to the bakery in Soho, there was a spot right smack in front. AND there was even a spot right in front of the train station – THAT. NEVER. HAPPENS. I didn’t even think that was A Thing. But this let us hang out a little bit longer rather than just me quickly dropping her off and driving away. The parking angels were with us and we didn’t even have to summon them.

yumyumyumyum

It was lovely to spend the day with My Girl, even for just a short time. The older she (and I?) gets, the more “doing things” similarities we seem to have. “Wanna split this sandwich? Yep.” “Wanna just go into this parking garage instead of driving around for an hour looking for a parking spot? Yep.” “Are you bored with the museum yet? Yep.” “Wanna eat at this place right across the street instead of the one we’d planned on? Yep.” Lovely and agreeable 🙂

So, we wandered around the Museum of Modern Art, which, amazingly, I have never been to before, I have to say, on this particular day at least, it was underwhelming. And hot. Ha. I wore only a light jacket, which came off right away…and a light sweater…which came off soon after…and was left in my dingy white tee shirt that it is really not meant for public consumption. OH WELL.

And now she’s gone again. Adjust, Bettye, adjust.

FRIDAY

Have been feeling more anxious at work lately. Had a minor meltdown-ish thing one afternoon after a week of…you ever just feel like everything you do or say is wrong? Not that it necessarily IS, but you think it is perceived that way? Anyway, I’ve had about a week-and-a-half of that. It’s exhausting and I just want to come home and be alone. *I* NEVER think I’m wrong 🙂 I think I’m perfect. HA HA HA HA HA.

Anyway, the good news is it’s Friday.

SATURDAY

My new favorite life credo (and who doesn’t love a good credo): “Trust visions that don’t feature buckets of blood.”

A pretty lazy day. Slept in a bit, got egg sandwich from deli, watched some youtube, worked on some blog posts, washed the %$*(&^!!! dishes (why do they keep coming back??), finished re-watching “I Told Sunset About You” because I was craving an emotional sure-thing. Continued trying to clear out the “dining alcove” so I can turn it into the “music alcove,” ha ha.

SUNDAY

Big art.

Black and white art.

Productive day. Took myself out to breakfast (you define productive your way, and I’ll define it mine), took a bunch of pictures, got most of my blog work done for the week ahead so I can focus on other things during the week AND maybe have one day where I don’t have to do ANYTHING. Woohoo.

WHAT I’M READING

Trying to learn, understand, and find a way to help.

I’m always shocked and dismayed when I read anything about history and realize how little I know.

WHAT I’M WATCHING

-> Wanted to post this ahead of time in case anyone was interested, AFRAID: Fear in America’s Communities of Color. It airs tonight (Monday, 3.23) at 9pm est on CNN (including live at cnn.com).

-> Anytime I need some wholesome goodness, I watch episodes of RUN BTS! a variety show created by BigHit (now HYBE) Entertainment in 2015. Lots of Asian actors, models, and music artists appear on game and variety shows and attend fan meets, so they can get themselves in front of the public and their fans.

When BTS was first starting out back in 2013 they would appear on these shows, but because they were not yet well-known and came from a small management company, the members were often not treated well. I do not know the specifics of that, this is just what I’ve read on multiple sources.

Once the boys started to gain some popularity and were making the company some money, BigHit just created their OWN game show for BTS to appear on alone. Which was brilliant. It’s a weekly show, free to watch on VLive, Weverse, and later, on YouTube, and it’s a way to keep fans engaged, especially at a time like this when there are no live concerts.

It’s an unscripted show, with 45-60 minute episodes. The production staff comes up with games, competitions, challenges, and activities for the members to participate in…and charming hilarity ensues. I’m sure there is some sort of general direction given, but I do believe that overall, the members’ own personalities, strengths, weaknesses, and charm is what we see.

I’m slowly going back through the entire catalog of shows. Some are better than others, but almost all have their own laugh-cry-inducing moments. Which is sometimes all the therapy I need on a bad day.

Today I watched 45-minutes of three of the members making and eating salad. Period. Sounds like nothing, right? But parts made me laugh so hard I could not stop. And how good is that?? I’m so grateful for anything that can make me laugh like that.

WHAT I’M LISTENING TO

The History of Anti-Asian Sentiment in the US (NPR) (this is a transcript of the 4-minute interview, the actual podcast is below)

Boom. Done. Happy Spring.