AKA: The Week That Grabbed Me By the Throat and Slammed Me Down on the Ground a Bunch of Times…and Then Air-Lifted Me to Another World

It’s just too much for one post…and I’m still gathering my thoughts of the past week…so this is Part 1. The “slam me on the ground” part.

MONDAY

So. Little Miss Jane. She’s almost 17…so clearly she’s been showing signs of aging. But she still followed me Every. Where. I Went. She still did The Poop Zoom after using the litter box. She still delighted in playing with crickets and chasing the laser pointer.

But this weekend she took a steep downhill nosedive. From one day to the next she went from being an old cat that I thought would be around at least one more year…to a cat who clearly was in her final days. The speed of the transition was shocking.

So Monday was spent having to make The Decision. Which is always a hard decision. But I’ve always felt I waited a day or two too long with Caleb, so his last day was really rough…and I regret not helping him avoid that.

But she’s not really eating…she hasn’t used the litterbox since Sunday morning. Her breathing is labored. She’s not really curling up and sleeping. Her body temperature is low so she’s cool to the touch.

She’s not herself. It’s just time.

So someone is coming to the house Wednesday morning to…euthanize her…so she doesn’t have to be stressed in her final moments with riding in the car and going to an unfamiliar office. We can just do it in her quiet home, on her spot on my bed next to my pillow…and I can just pet her til she slips away.

This is hard.

TUESDAY

Today was a little easier as the difficult realization of yesterday…and the accompanying decision had been made. Now it’s just last-minute dumping stuff into the suitcase quickly for my trip so then I can just sit and pet the cat.

Jane has always been a sweet, affectionate, problem-free little cat.

She came to us a gift from our Clyde who had decided to move on…but he brought tiny baby Jane to us as a parting gift before he went on his way.

I’d just had to put down the lovely Stephanie Elizabeth at the age of 18…and I said NO MORE CATS.  But then one morning there was Clyde lying on the front porch with a tiny grey kitten clambering over him. I said NO MORE CATS and sat down on the porch with them. She immediately climbed up to my shoulder where she burrowed into my neck and fell asleep purring. She pretty much stayed there for the next five years.

And there was One More Cat.

All she ever wanted was to be On Me. Madison and Caleb were the next best things. But I was always The Body of Choice to be on or next to.

WEDNESDAY

And now she’s gone 🙁

A vet (not mine) came from Lap of Love, a really nice company that just does in-home euthanasia. It was important to me that she not have to be stressed out or anxious in her final moments by riding in the car in the cat carrier to the vet’s office. This way Dr. Heather came here early in the day and Janey just got to lay on her spot on the bed while the vet and I talked a bit and Janey got accustomed to a stranger in the house…so she was not alarmed when Dr. Heather walked over to her to give her the first injection. That one’s just a relaxant. I got to just pet and talk to her for a bit before the Dr. came and gave her the other shot…and in a few minutes she was gone.

She assured me I was doing the right thing…that just by Jane’s labored breathing she knew she was at the end and shouldn’t have to go on. So at least there’s that.

In a bit I wrapped her up in her towel she slept on, and put her in a box and took her over to Russell’s, where he has since buried her next to their cat Emma who passed last year. I wish she could have been next to Caleb, but they moved last year and Caleb is at the old house.

When I came back and walked in the door, I said ahnyonghaseo Jane-shi like I always do…and then realized she was not there.

No one was there.

I’ve never been THIS alone. I don’t get LONELY, but this felt odd.

I haven’t been without an animal in my life since I was like 10 years old. I’ve never lived without SOME sort of living thing being with me.

I’m going to end this here…and in Part 2, continue with the “all the walking, none of the sleep…and BTS” portion of the week.

I’mma just leave some pictures of sweet Jane right here…

RIP Miss Jane ~ March 5, 2005 – November 24, 2021

xoxo