Happy 6th Blogaversary ~ Fashion Schlub
February 14, 2016 was the debut of Fashion Schlub. It was born, more than anything, out of a place of frustration. Frustration in not knowing how to dress this large, short, aging body…in a way that could comfort my anxious, lacking-confidence mind.
As I shared in that first post, I had run the gamut of style (for lack of a better word) throughout my lifetime…Horse Girl, Preppy Student, Career Woman, Messy Mommy. I loved the CONCEPT of fashion, but really never thought it was for me. Body shape and lack of funds and confidence kept me from feeling I ever looked “RIGHT.”
So Fashion Schlub was a record of my search for “how to look right.” As I tried new clothing items, new shapes and styles, I shared them here. As I learned new lessons or figured things out, I wrote about it here.
Looking back, it seems that each of the past six years had its own theme…or challenge.
In the beginning, I was subscribing to Gwynnie Bee, a plus-size online clothing rental service. And the ability to try SO MANY different types of things, was a great learning experience. More than anything I learned what DIDN’T work for me…or what I didn’t actually like (even though I thought I would). There was a lot of growth in the Gwynnie Bee years.
The second year, 2017, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. And my focus on the blog slid way down my priority list. There were many weeks that all I posted was a Week in Review. I tried to keep up with outfit posts as best I could…and y’all were so understanding. And a move in late summer took a lot of my time and attention, so there was that.
The next year, 2018, was a difficult year for me emotionally. A tough breakup and the loss of my best boy, Caleb…both took the wind out of my sails. I hope I managed to keep a light tone in the posts and not be all Woe is Me. If I failed, you guys were kind and did not mention it, and for this, I thank you.
The following year, 2019, was a sudden and unexpected move, that, again, sort of knocked me for a loop.
Ha, I feel like for the past five years I’ve just been getting knocked down…and fighting to get back up and keep going. As one does.
As life IS.
The high point of 2019 for me was the discovery of anti-depressants, ha ha. They have been LIFE-CHANGING for me. No shame or embarrassment in using them, as far as I’m concerned. They’re a tool that made it possible for me to face each day from a neutral place, not a dark place. NOTHING looks good from The Dark Place. And that new perspective allowed me to see more possibility in my life…after many years of just sort of…waiting for it to just all be over.
Another change in 2019 was me working out how to eat better. Not in a “diet” way, but truly in learning a new way to eat that helped me feel and live better. You can read about that journey here. Almost three years later, I’m on the same path, more or less. I’m human and have periods where I JUST WANT TO EAT CHIPS AND ICE CREAM, and guess what, I let myself do that. But then I get myself back on the other track. With no pain or suffering, I’m down 45 pounds from three years ago. I’m not in any kind of rush or race to LOSE WEIGHT AS FAST AS I CAN. I’m just being mindful of how and what I eat…and the natural result is very slow but steady weight loss, and an overall better feeling without the weakness and dizziness and light-headedness that used to be a regular part of my life.
Then we all know what 2020 brought. COVID. Quarantine. And for me, a break from the social anxiety I have felt for most (if not all) of my life. And between the anti-depressants and the “break from the world,” I really feel a big shift in myself. For the better. I’m grateful for this new way of feeling Every Day.
2020 also brought me to TikTok…and BTS and k-dramas…and those things have been a gateway to more changes, new things learned, new goals.
From a style standpoint, TikTok introduced me to, for lack of a better term, “TikTok Street Style Boys,” who were modeling a look that immediately resonated with me. It took elements of my horse girl days, combined it with student prep…and then eased it all up with a slouchy fit. A look that six years ago I would not have been ready for. I didn’t feel confident enough in myself or my body to dress in a way that could so easily look sloppy. But now?? Ha, bring on the schlubbiness! Now I understand fit a little better (and yes, even in the realm of oversized clothing, fit is important, maybe even more so) AND there are more types of clothing available in my size.
2021 was a year of shifting priorities. Fashion and style were no longer as top of mind as they had been, and I was okay with that as I felt I’d found a look I was comfortable with. I was no longer spending so much money on new clothing items, always chasing that elusive “perfect outfit.” I had a closetful of clothes and outfits I was happy with. I also started studying Korean language (see 2020) and that took a lot of time that was previously spent working on the blog.
As 2021 shifts into 2022, I’m focusing on new goals: continuing to study Korean, doing coursework to get certified in Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL), and drastically downsizing (aka Getting Rid of Literally Everything I Own).
All these things take time away from the blog. In my quest to figure out how to fit everything in, the one thing that seems the most obvious to let go of is…The Blog. The other things are all building towards future plans. If I want to do certain things down the road, I MUST take these steps now. The blog is just something I love doing.
For years I’d hoped the blog would eventually provide some income…but that has really never happened (as I was woefully reminded when I just worked out all my tax info this weekend). Not that that was ever my primary focus here. But at this point in time, I keep being reminded that I need to focus my time and energy on things that will “show me the money,” so I can keep moving towards future goals.
So, what is the future of Fashion Schlub? Am I letting it go?
Here’s the thing. While right now there’s not a whole lot going on; I’m not doing fun things that I can share in weekly posts because I’m just doing work at home…and I’m really not buying new clothing items that I can work into outfit posts…I DO still wear SOMETHING every day, and I’ll continue sharing the daily OOTD posts…and IF I do something fun/entertaining, I’ll share that in a Week in Review post. Other than that…there won’t be much. An occasional “other” post like the monthly Where Bloggers Live posts…or whatever else I feel inspired to do.
And going forward I think the blog will start to morph into something very different…as I prepare to start this next phase of my life. I get quite a few emails from people saying that reading about my adventures and exploits at my age is entertaining and even inspiring. So I think it will move more in that direction…and if I do make it to Korea in the future, that will definitely be a strong focus.
SO. Six years in and maybe not going so strong, but…still moving forward, with new plans and goals and interests. Thanks for riding this roller coaster with me the past six years…and I’d love to hear your thoughts about the future of Fashion Schlub.
xoxo
Marsha Banks
I’m a relatively new reader. I had known about your cancer, but didn’t know what kind. I knew you’d moved but not that it was recently. I also read about your loss of Caleb (that pain is huge, I know from experience). Now, I read to peek into your world which seems so very different from mine…ewww…that makes me sound like a voyeur…I just mean your life seems so vastly unlike mine in central Indiana. It’s been such fun to read about your love for almost all things Korean and the trip to see BTS. I hope you do continue to blog even if it’s just a check in kind of thing. I would definitely miss reading your writing because you have such a voice!
bettyewp
Aww, thank you so much, Marsha!
Sorry to hear you also know the pain of losing a beloved dog friend 🙁
And no, I get it about the “peeking into other’s lives.” So much of the internet is exactly that. I try to explain to people that one of my favorite vlogs to watch is just a regular homemaker in Korea…just doing her daily life things. Washing the dishes, making the beds, walking her son to school. It’s nothing earth-shattering but…it’s interesting because it’s different than my life (plus, she makes the simplest things seem so lovely).
I’m sure I’ll continue to be around in some capacity in the coming year…and like I said, I think it’ll take on a new life when I do WHATEVER I do next, whether that’s Korea or wherever I go.
Thanks for reading…and commenting xoxo
Cheryl Gardiner
Your writing is uplifting and I have enjoyed reading and learning not only about fashion but about where you live. Your photography is amazing! From a sixty five year old Aussie, thank you for your blog and congratulations on your sixth anniversary.
bettyewp
Thanks, Cheryl 🙂 I get bummed that I’m not able to share as much photography these days. Retirement will be about READING (in the shade!!!) and TAKING PICTURES!!!
Or maybe that’s heaven. I guess I’ll have to wait to find out 🙂
Iris
Well, happy 6 year anniversary! You’ve come a long ways in that time. I still have no idea how you write as many posts as you do. I’m struggling with keeping my little blog going, so I hear you. Hang in there, you have lots of readers and still have things to say.
Iris
bettyewp
Thanks, Iris 🙂 I’m not sure how I do it either. Well, I forego things like housework and other adulty obligations that other grown-ups spend time on.
Lisa Elliott
Happy Anniversary! I really enjoy your blog but I definitely understand your thought process. I’ve had years where I only blogged a few times. It is your blog. I would miss reading about your fun adventures but YOU do YOU!
bettyewp
Yeah, I’m just trying to figure out how many different directions I can spread myself in before something gives, ha ha. Thank GOODNESS I decided to put off LEARNING PIANO for the time being!
I can’t see ever giving it up entirely but it definitely needs to take a backseat to some other things right now.
xoxo
Bridgett
Happy Anniversary! I have learned fun things from you and your blog, and continue to do so! I look forward to seeing how you change it. I appreciate your sharing, encourage you to keep moving forward, and thank you so much for it all. You inspire me.
bettyewp
It makes me feel so good to hear that anyone is inspired by what *I* do! Thanks for saying that 🙂
kathleen r sadler
we have known each other so long…I would definitely miss your the posts.
bettyewp
Kath! Gosh, we’ve known one another since even before EBAY (just thinking on my internet timeline).
I hope you’re doing well, how are your little dogs?
Ashley
Happy, happy 6 years! I’m so proud of you and your journey- through all of this, you’ve found yourself. Or another layer to yourself. Some people never do this! Their entire lives! So good on you, girlfriend- I am amazed at the challenges (learning Korean!) you undertake with this sort of humble-but-determined grace. I believe in you!
I totally understand needing to balance priorities; I’ve had to do this several times over my blog’s lifespan in order to make it all work (and stay somewhat sane). But I selfishly hope you won’t disappear altogether because I enjoy you so much!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
bettyewp
Thanks, Ashley! That’s it! You said it exactly right – I feel like I’ve found myself (as cheesy as that sounds, ha ha).
Yeah, it’s hard to keep a blog going under the BEST of circumstances…and time is the biggest challenge of all…I certainly don’t WANT to disappear…but everyday when I’m scheduled so tightly and I’m like “isn’t there ANYTHING I could skip today…?” the blog is usually the thing that gets relegated to the chopping block, sadly. Not that I love it less…but it’s not as hot a fire as the others that MUST BE PUT OUT RIGHT AWAY, if that makes sense.
xoxo
Jodie
Happy anniversary Bettye!!
Talk about evolving…you certainly have evolved and it’s so interesting to look back this way and put it in words. So many times it happens slowly and isn’t always so evident!!
Xoxo
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
bettyewp
It’s been Quite the Journey. I feel like for so many years my life was just The Same Every day. Being a stay-at-home mom with Katie, then going back to work full-time…nothing every really changed much and I didn’t have much to look forward to. Now there are so many things I want to do that I can’t find the time to do it all!
Daenel T.
Happy Anniversary. I love reading about how your blog has morphed over the years. I think we have a tendency to see our lives as ordinary, but others see our lives as so differently. I love reading about the different things you’re doing — I’d never heard of BTS or K-dramas until you mentioned them and now I’ve found that I have friends who are positively obsessed. I’ve learned a lot. Did I tell you I was stationed in Korea? I loved it. Are you planning to go there as an ESL instructor?
bettyewp
Right? I see others’ experiences as so amazing and I have to remind myself that I kind of have similar experiences. I guess when things happen to US, and we *manage,* it just no longer seems so incredible. “If I can do it, anyone can” mentality. I did it, it was not that big a deal. I guess it’s more of a big deal in the eyes of people who have NOT done it (yet).
Ha ha you have Army friends?! I love that! I don’t have any 🙁 Boohoo. Regular friends don’t want to listen to me go on and on (and ON) about them and every single thing they do, say, wear, etc. You guys are my captive audience, ha ha 🙂
I know you were stationed in Korea! I think I commented on one of your blog posts while back that we needed to talk about that! Where were you and when?
My first twinkle of a thought of going there was, yes, as an English teacher…it’s such a great set-up – they pay your airfare to fly over there, help you get an apartment, in many cases actually PAY (or give you a stipend towards) for an apartment, and just generally help you with the whole (terrifying) relocation. BUT I quickly discovered that I AM TOO OLD. Ahem. They want teachers who are younger and have not been out of school that long. Two different agencies told me they’ve never seen a placement of anyone over 35. So that was out and I had to find another “in,” cuz I also learned you can’t just “decide to move to S Korea.” There are pretty narrow parameters for qualifying for a visa. But after much search (and tears and anxiety) I discovered I could get a student visa for up to 2 years (which, really is just 18 months unless I need to repeat a semester…but then I’d need to PAY for that repeat semester, so…).
It’s been quite the learning curve figuring out how I can go…and it seems like every day new things pop up and I’m like oh jeez NOW WHAT?! Ha. But I’m determined. The only thing that would stop me at this point is not getting accepted into the school/money. But I’m trying to stay optimistic that IT WILL ALL WORK OUT.
Marian
Happy anniversary! That’s quite an accomplishment. I think I’ve read your blog for 3 years? Enjoyed it immensely. You write well, your journey is inspiring, how you pick through problems and challenges and deal with things. I think you could monetize your photography. You have an eye and a voice.
But you have a new chapter ahead and that’s where your energy should go now. Please keep us posted occasionally. We all want to see you get to Korea and post your first Tik Tok in Korean!
bettyewp
Whoa, three years! That’s an accomplishment in itself! I have only a handful of people I’ve followed for that long (or longer) – between blogs and vlogs. And when I think about it, they all started with a very specific niche…and eventually went broader, more “lifestyle” than just fashion or hair care or whatever.
As always, thanks for all the kind words, Marian – I’m glad you’re still with us!
Andrea Kenner
I think I started following your blog in 2019, so I missed the foundational stuff. What I like most about your blog is not the fashion stuff, but the *photography*! You take splendid photos, and I look forward to seeing your take on the everyday happenings in your life.
bettyewp
Thanks, Andrea. I wish I had the time for taking pictures that I used to. I miss that. I’ve noticed that my phone’s camera roll is like 95% screen shots these days, not pictures I’ve taken. Even with a camera in my hand like every minute of the day, I’m still not taking “pictures”! Sad face. But it’ll come back. Right now I’m just doing the prep work so I can do the fun stuff later on. And OH the pictures there’ll be!!!!
Thanks for sticking around, Andrea!