February 14, 2016 was the debut of Fashion Schlub. It was born, more than anything, out of a place of frustration. Frustration in not knowing how to dress this large, short, aging body…in a way that could comfort my anxious, lacking-confidence mind.

As I shared in that first post, I had run the gamut of style (for lack of a better word) throughout my lifetime…Horse Girl, Preppy Student, Career Woman, Messy Mommy. I loved the CONCEPT of fashion, but really never thought it was for me. Body shape and lack of funds and confidence kept me from feeling I ever looked “RIGHT.”

So Fashion Schlub was a record of my search for “how to look right.” As I tried new clothing items, new shapes and styles, I shared them here. As I learned new lessons or figured things out, I wrote about it here.

Looking back, it seems that each of the past six years had its own theme…or challenge.

In the beginning, I was subscribing to Gwynnie Bee, a plus-size online clothing rental service. And the ability to try SO MANY different types of things, was a great learning experience. More than anything I learned what DIDN’T work for me…or what I didn’t actually like (even though I thought I would). There was a lot of growth in the Gwynnie Bee years.

The second year, 2017, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. And my focus on the blog slid way down my priority list. There were many weeks that all I posted was a Week in Review. I tried to keep up with outfit posts as best I could…and y’all were so understanding. And a move in late summer took a lot of my time and attention, so there was that.

The next year, 2018, was a difficult year for me emotionally. A tough breakup and the loss of my best boy, Caleb…both took the wind out of my sails. I hope I managed to keep a light tone in the posts and not be all Woe is Me. If I failed, you guys were kind and did not mention it, and for this, I thank you.

The following year, 2019, was a sudden and unexpected move, that, again, sort of knocked me for a loop.

Ha, I feel like for the past five years I’ve just been getting knocked down…and fighting to get back up and keep going. As one does.

As life IS.

The high point of 2019 for me was the discovery of anti-depressants, ha ha. They have been LIFE-CHANGING for me. No shame or embarrassment in using them, as far as I’m concerned. They’re a tool that made it possible for me to face each day from a neutral place, not a dark place. NOTHING looks good from The Dark Place. And that new perspective allowed me to see more possibility in my life…after many years of just sort of…waiting for it to just all be over.

Another change in 2019 was me working out how to eat better. Not in a “diet” way, but truly in learning a new way to eat that helped me feel and live better. You can read about that journey here. Almost three years later, I’m on the same path, more or less. I’m human and have periods where I JUST WANT TO EAT CHIPS AND ICE CREAM, and guess what, I let myself do that. But then I get myself back on the other track. With no pain or suffering, I’m down 45 pounds from three years ago. I’m not in any kind of rush or race to LOSE WEIGHT AS FAST AS I CAN. I’m just being mindful of how and what I eat…and the natural result is very slow but steady weight loss, and an overall better feeling without the weakness and dizziness and light-headedness that used to be a regular part of my life.

Then we all know what 2020 brought. COVID. Quarantine. And for me, a break from the social anxiety I have felt for most (if not all) of my life. And between the anti-depressants and the “break from the world,” I really feel a big shift in myself. For the better. I’m grateful for this new way of feeling Every Day.

2020 also brought me to TikTok…and BTS and k-dramas…and those things have been a gateway to more changes, new things learned, new goals.

From a style standpoint, TikTok introduced me to, for lack of a better term, “TikTok Street Style Boys,” who were modeling a look that immediately resonated with me. It took elements of my horse girl days, combined it with student prep…and then eased it all up with a slouchy fit. A look that six years ago I would not have been ready for. I didn’t feel confident enough in myself or my body to dress in a way that could so easily look sloppy. But now?? Ha, bring on the schlubbiness! Now I understand fit a little better (and yes, even in the realm of oversized clothing, fit is important, maybe even more so) AND there are more types of clothing available in my size.

2021 was a year of shifting priorities. Fashion and style were no longer as top of mind as they had been, and I was okay with that as I felt I’d found a look I was comfortable with. I was no longer spending so much money on new clothing items, always chasing that elusive “perfect outfit.” I had a closetful of clothes and outfits I was happy with. I also started studying Korean language (see 2020) and that took a lot of time that was previously spent working on the blog.

As 2021 shifts into 2022, I’m focusing on new goals: continuing to study Korean, doing coursework to get certified in Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL), and drastically downsizing (aka Getting Rid of Literally Everything I Own).

All these things take time away from the blog. In my quest to figure out how to fit everything in, the one thing that seems the most obvious to let go of is…The Blog. The other things are all building towards future plans. If I want to do certain things down the road, I MUST take these steps now. The blog is just something I love doing.

For years I’d hoped the blog would eventually provide some income…but that has really never happened (as I was woefully reminded when I just worked out all my tax info this weekend). Not that that was ever my primary focus here. But at this point in time, I keep being reminded that I need to focus my time and energy on things that will “show me the money,” so I can keep moving towards future goals.

So, what is the future of Fashion Schlub? Am I letting it go?

Here’s the thing. While right now there’s not a whole lot going on; I’m not doing fun things that I can share in weekly posts because I’m just doing work at home…and I’m really not buying new clothing items that I can work into outfit posts…I DO still wear SOMETHING every day, and I’ll continue sharing the daily OOTD posts…and IF I do something fun/entertaining, I’ll share that in a Week in Review post. Other than that…there won’t be much. An occasional “other” post like the monthly Where Bloggers Live posts…or whatever else I feel inspired to do.

And going forward I think the blog will start to morph into something very different…as I prepare to start this next phase of my life. I get quite a few emails from people saying that reading about my adventures and exploits at my age is entertaining and even inspiring. So I think it will move more in that direction…and if I do make it to Korea in the future, that will definitely be a strong focus.

SO. Six years in and maybe not going so strong, but…still moving forward, with new plans and goals and interests. Thanks for riding this roller coaster with me the past six years…and I’d love to hear your thoughts about the future of Fashion Schlub.

xoxo