Life This Week In South Korea October 16-22, 2023
MONDAY, OCT 16
After my fun and exhausting weekend, I was NOT prepared to go back to class, but…sigh. I went.
I had the tutor, Joon, in the morning, and he’s great. Helps me a lot. I try to do the lesson with him that we’re going to do later in the class in class so at least I already have some familiarity with it, even though I can’t understand a word the teacher says. So I was feeling pretty confident when I went to class….but then…she went off-script. She was pulling material out of who-knows-where and I was just like whaaaat is this?? And I spent 4 hours tensely hoping for her to not call on me for anything.
And just as we were walking out the door at the end of class, she handed us little slips of paper with our midterm grades on them.
Oh. I didn’t really need to see THAT. Reading: 35 (yes, out of 100). Writing: 49. Listening: 47. Speaking: 66. Overall grade, 49.25.
You can lead a girl to Korea, but you can’t make her learn.
Of the three best students in the class, two failed. So, you know, there’s a little bit of “misery loves company” there.
I promptly set that on a shelf in my brain, got a honey grapefruit-ade and sat with my friend for a bit on my veranda (haha), then met up with one more girl to go grocery shopping.
Food shopping seems to come in three flavors here: convenience stores, a million of them as far as the eye can see; local corner marts, that are like vegetable stands; and the big super markets. So I go to the Emart 2-3 times a month and load up…as much as I’m willing to lug home half a mile. Emart is, first of all, IN A MALL (I hate malls), then sort of like a cross between a regular American grocery store, and Costco. It’s HUGE and it sells a lot of things in only large quantities. It’s always PACKED, and guess what, all the labels are in Korean. So it makes it Very Challenging to grocery shop. I’ve ended up at home several times with a bag or box of WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. And you make the best of it cuz you’re certainly not walking BACK there, and you don’t have space in the tiny refrigerator for mistakes PLUS corrections. So you use the mistakes up as quickly as possible and try to do better next time.
TUESDAY, Oct 17
Oh dear, this was a day. I feel like I was near tears much of the day…out of frustration at not being able to just LEARN. I had my tutor in the morning before class and I was getting very frustrated because I Just Could Not Understand – Remember – Utilize what he was telling me. Then he gave me a bunch of homework for our next class on Thursday…on top of the homework I’ll have from class, and the new vocabulary to learn and ALWAYS ALWAYS going back over the basics cuz there are some building blocks missing.
Then I had class. And it was the “better” Tuesday/Thursday teacher who goes a little more slowly and will explain briefly in English when absolutely necessary…and STILL I was just LOST. So there’s the frustration of not being able to Get It…and the anxiety for four hours, just waiting to be called on and present my ineptness in front of the class. And THAT’s honestly not even as bad as when they then try to EXPLAIN it to you..IN KOREAN…you know, that language I couldn’t understand the FIRST time you said it…and then they won’t let it go and they’re like WE’RE STICKING WITH THIS TIL YOU GET IT – not in a mean way, just in a – what they think is – a helpful way. Leave no students behind. Even the old ones. But really PLEASE I BEG OF YOU just move along, pretend I’m not even here, and I’ll try to figure this stuff out tonight.
So…just not a good day. Met a friend for dinner…and then my slippery metal chopsticks wouldn’t hold the noodles and it took me forever to eat a bowl of jjajangmyeon and I think more of it ended up on the front of my shirt than in my mouth.
One good thing: the package that Katie sent on Saturday, Oct 7, FINALLY arrived! So now I have my comforter from home, two more pairs of jeans (I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES HERE!!!), Lipton tea bags, Equal, a new dongle to pair my laptop with my wireless Korean keyboard, a card reader so I can get pictures off my camera, a pair of compression socks (my feet have been SO swollen here, more on that in a future post), a pair of like mid-thigh length underpant/bike short things so I can wear dresses without creating waterfalls of sweat on the insides of my thighs when I walk, and last, but certainly not least…my resplacement debit card…because of COURSE I lost my debit card in South Korea.
I look forward to sleeping with the comfort(er)s of home tonight.
WEDNESDAY, OCT 18
And I hit the wall. The wall of stress and anxiety and exhaustion and frustration. And I took an E-day. I don’t really know what that means. It’s something my ex used to say when he was taking an unscheduled personal day – he was “banging an E-day.”
I slept late (and delightfully so, under my lovely comforter), paid bills, did my tutoring homework, did my class homework, watched half a k-drama while eating lunch, and tried to get a jump start on the next chapter in the text book. I don’t usually get very far with that. The tutor will help me get sorted out tomorrow.
And I’m going to bed early. Me and my comforter.
THURSDAY, OCT 19
Back to our regularly scheduled program. Tutor in the morning, class in the afternoon, dinner and study group in the evening. Mon-Fri is pretty much just school-related activities.
I finally heard back from the medical center today. I’d been trying to make an appointment – the last time I had a kidney stone was back in February 2022. I’ve been in Korea less than two months and I’ve had three separate pain issues. Guh.
So tomorrow I go to the Korean urologist…who may or may not speak English. I wrote and translated a brief history of my kidney stones. I hope I did well or I may end up with a liver transplant.
FRIDAY, OCT 20
Alrighty then. My first experience with Korean healthcare. I’m going to write a separate post about it in more detail…but let me just say there were two sides to the experience. The whole process is done in-hospital: initial consultation (with lovely translator because Dr did not speak English), x-ray, CT scan, blood/urine, follow-up with Dr, picking up prescription from pharmacy. Not that I needed it, but the hospital also houses a funeral home (worst case scenario). Truly one-stop-shopping.
It all seemed very efficient and organized as I moved from department to department. Sort of like DMV, you sign into a kiosk and get a # then wait for your number to be called to pay, be directed, etc. I never waited anywhere more than 15 minutes, except at the end when I needed the translator for the follow-up with the doctor.
So A+ on their part.
But the experience itself was low-key (and by low-key I mean VERY) harrowing :-\ as *I* did not know the efficient and organized system and kept getting upset at not knowing what to do or where to go. It was another DON’T CRY DON’T CRY DON’T BE THE WEAK PATHETIC AMERICAN WHO CRIES situation. Plus, the scan/x-ray outfits didn’t fit…so there was that.
I was pretty much a deer caught in the headlights trying not to cry the entire time. Was I always this sensitive/emotional??
The net is there are two issues: one not urgent but that is causing me pain BUT that they can give me painkillers for…and the other that is possibly more urgent about which we will know more next week when I go for a follow-up and they will have made a determination by looking at the scan.
I was exhausted by the time I got back to my room…I needed a little wind-down time and some lunch before heading to class.
In the evening I met my friend for coffee…then we walked around to find someplace to eat…ended up at a bulgogi (beef) place where we had just a mountain of meat and mushrooms and banchan and it was quite nice.
I came home after that cuz I was just POOPED.
Between hospitalling in the morning, and dinner wandering in the evening, it was a 3.5 mile day.
SATURDAY, 10.20.23
A piddly morning. I never left the room. Ate cereral and PB&J and finished up some of the weird random foods from unsuccessful shopping trips.
SUNDAY, 10.21.23
It was such a nice cool day, I always appreciate those. My friend and I went to brunch at a place I really like in my neighborhood…then we went to a nearby cafe to study. It was nice enough to sit outside…which was super nice.
She forwarded me an Instagram post that suggested anwering these three questions at the end of each day:
- What happened today that I’m grateful for?
- Which actions moved me towards my goals?
- Are there any changes I can make?
So: 1) I’m grateful I got to spend such a nice day with a new good friend. I’m still a little amazed I’ve made friends here at all, so to have met someone whose company I so enjoy is like a little miracle – a little Korean miracle. 2) I spent no less than 17 hours doing homework/studying today. I’m not exactly sure if it’s moving me towards my goal of being able to speak Korean well enough to live here and be competent enough to speak with people, but…it’s all I can do! 3) Hmm, that’s a hard one. I think today…I did well. I don’t know what I would want to change. I did productive stuff, fun stuff, and social stuff. I ate well. I stayed outside almost all day. I’m actually pretty pleased with today.
Well done, Bettye! Ha ha ha.
I will leave you on that high note and say see ya next time….
Nancy
Thank you for sharing your adventure. I look forward to reading more.
bettyewp
Thanks for reading about my adventures!
Lisa Elliott
I am so impressed that you are doing this! I keep trying to put myself in your shoes and I think I would be the crying American! Hang in there! You are doing well!!
bettyewp
Ha ha, The Crying American. I’m trying SO HARD to not be that, but man it’s hard. The Korean people seem EXTREMELY stoic. I don’t know if crying is a thing here AT ALL.
Rita
I so admire you and I love hearing your stories of your new life in South Korea. You are doing great. I’d be drowning in my puddle of tears and anxious sweat by now! Can’t wait to hear more.
bettyewp
Oh, there’s been a generous amount of sweat and tears (and one night, even blood, ha ha). It doesn’t take much these days to push me right up against the wall. But…what can I do? I just have to keep going.
jaynn
Echoing the other comments – so nice to know you are doing ok, this is really just so fun to follow. We laugh, we cry, we worry, we reflect. It’s perfect just how it is.
bettyewp
{{hugs}}
jodie
Girl, I feel your pain as any of us who don’t speak such a complicated language would. You are allowed to feel overwhelmed but you have a ton of support just an internet away.
I love those 3 questions too. Great food for thought.
XOOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
bettyewp
What’s interesting is I’m just finding myself totally ignoring people speaking. I’m like I can’t understand them anyway, so why bother…but a couple times people have been speaking to me in ENGLISH, just with a Korean accent, but I didn’t pick up on it cuz I wasn’t really paying attention, ha ha.
Debbie from Illinois
How fun to get a package! I bet you were relieved to finally get your debit card replaced. Whew!
bettyewp
Yeah, I’ve (mostly) been SO CAREFUL about not leaving credit cards, ID, passport etc anywhere…I don’t know how that happened. I realized it the next day…I knew the last place I’d used it…I went back there and they said no, they hadn’t seen it. So I called the bank in the US to cancel it and order a new one but they fought me on sending it here to Korea…I was like BUT THIS IS WHERE I LIVE NOW – it was a struggle…then she didn’t want to use the complete address cuz her online form had just so many address fields and I was like YOU CANNOT LEAVE OUT THE DISTRICT, IT WON’T GET HERE, and in the end, she SAID she ordered it but I waited two weeks and it never arrived. So I requested another one and had it sent to Katie, and then I had to wait for her to send it to me. So I was without a debit card for over a month. Fortunately I have another card that I can transfer money to from my US bank and then withdraw it from an ATM (when the gods are willing) when I need cash. But I can’t make purchases with that one so I’d been putting everything on a credit card. Ugh. Yeah, so I was happy to get the card 🙂
Penny
I do feel for you Bettye. I had a similar experience when I was in my early 20s (that’s decades ago!). I foolishly decided to work abroad and secured a job as a nurse in the French speaking part Switzerland with very little understanding of French! What was I thinking? I just wanted the adventure of it all, I guess. Well, what a shock to find everything in French and that no-one spoke to me in English! I mean, doh! Well goodness me I learnt fast! And just because In absolutely had to I could speak commands in one week and in month I could make myself understood and in two months I was fluent. I stayed for 2 years. But you know what the biggest shock to my system was? The culture was so…foreign….so different….I mean what did I expect!! But what a learning curve it was. Quite the helter-skelter. So yes, I do understand the shock of it all. But you are doing wonderfully – hang in there you will get to grips with it all, and if you don’t – hey what an adventure!!!!
bettyewp
Yeah, WHAT WERE WE THINKING?!? I think in part us English speaking folks just assume EVERYONE knows our language at least a little bit…but…I’m realizing as I get older…NO. Ha ha. I grew up with a very skewed view of the world…unfortunately…but at least I’m getting it now and understanding it all a bit more from a global perspective…which I’m grateful for. And I will never take language/communication for granted again!
It’s definitely an adventure…and in spite of all the challenges, I’m really enjoying being here and so far really love the country.
xoxo Bettye