Life This Week in South Korea: Nov 13-19, 2023
Monday, Nov 13
It is finally actually cold here. Hallelujah! I was able to wear LAYERS and a light jacket and not die lugging myself up the hill.
Yeah, not sweating was pretty much the highlight of the day.
Tuesday, Nov 14
Early early tutoring session, 7:50am. How am I NOT a Korean whiz by now??
Wednesday, Nov 15
Well, for better or worse (and it’s worse, all right), the written part of the final is over. It’s humiliating how little I know. Well, how little I know of what they WANT me to know.
This was our last time all in class together. Every day this week kids (students) brought candy to put on everyone’s desks. Cute, right?? I’m going to miss them.
Thursday, Nov 16
Having myself a big ‘ol pity party.
Today was the last part of the final, a one-on-one “dialogue,” (more like an interview really) with a teacher (not our teacher). I struggled (as usual) – understanding spoken Korean is my worst category, so it’s hard to answer questions correctly when you’re not exactly sure what you’re being asked. Do I prefer soju or beer? OR, which costs more: soju or beer? OR which is on the left, the soju or the beer?? How far do I live from class? In minutes or miles? Oh, not miles, they’re metric. How do I say counted minutes? All this while a stranger is watching you, waiting for an aswer.
At the end, she goes 베티 씨 (that’s me), 한국어 어령워요?? Hangoogoh ohlyowhoyo? Bettye, Korean is difficult for you? YA THINK?!? I probably did not answer one question right.
When I walked out and saw my classmates standing around awaiting their turn, I hightailed it out of there cuz I was starting to cry and I didn’t want them to see that 🙁 I walked back to my room in the rain, trying to not just out-and-out CRY cry while walking on campus.
Almost as bad as the frustration and humiliation of working so hard and spending so much time trying to learn and having it make virtually no difference and being constantly embarrassed that I’m not getting it when everyone else is…is the fact that my doing so poorly has put a divide between me and them…and that makes me really sad and a little hurt feelings-y. Literally people avoid sitting in the seat behind me now so they don’t have to pair up with me when we do exercises in class…cuz I’m so slow and never even understand WHAT we’re supposed to be doing and they try to explain it to me in their limited English and I don’t understand that either, and it’s just…I get it. I GET IT. It’s a pain to to have to work with the slow kid. And now I’m the slow kid. It feels like we’re out on the playground and no one will pass me the ball 🙁
And I’m a grown-up and should be able to deal with that, but…I’m also far far from home without my support system and I never seem to understand anything that’s going on and it stinks that theywon’t let me play any reindeer games.
I realize at least a small percentage of this is probably in my own mind, but that’s basically where I live, so…
Yeah. Pity Party for One. I got home, put on my nightgown (at 2:30 in the afternoon), and got in bed. I had a couple handfuls of cereal out of the bag for dinner cuz I didn’t want to to get re-dressed to walk to the kitchen just to warm something up in the microwave. Eventually went to sleep.
Friday, Nov 17
And woke up the next morning to blue skies and no tears.
My only obligation of the day was going to the graduation ceremony for the language program. Not for me, but there are a lot of people at various levels in the program and some of them were graduating. I sat with my class and watched the program, and both taekwondo and kpop dancing demonstrations? Performances? Either way, the school offers classes in both, so this was the culmination of their efforts over the term. Then teacher handed out certificates to my classmates who passed the class. Interestingly, all the Asian students passed. All the non-Asian students did not pass.
From the very beginning of the term I saw that the Asian students picked up the Korean “sound” very quickly and well. Korean has some sounds that are just not in the English language, so I struggle with those. But the Mongolian, Chinese, and Nepalese students souded very authentically Korean from very early on. Another things I noticed about them was their notes – very VERY neat and organized. My notes look like the diary of a crazy person. In the beginning I would rewrite my notes after class, so they were organized…but very quickly the time spent on me just doing the homework and trying to memorize the vocabulary was taking so long, that rewriting notes fell by the wayside.
Anyway, this first class was an interesting experience, for sure. I did not pass (as expected) so I will be taking the class again. I don’t so mind that…I just hope I can figure out some things to do differently so I can keep up with the class better this time.
After the program, a group of us went out to Korean barbecue, which was fun. I was glad to finish off the class on more comfortable terms with them, not like I’d been feeling towards the end of the term (EVERYBODY HATES ME!!!). We had a few a lot of drinks and it was nice to be a little drunk, ha ha. And we were able to talk more than we could in class.
And the one thing that I keep thinking is…how we all (people all over the world – different countries, different cultures, etc) think we’re so different. But we’re NOT. We’re the same. Ultimately we all kind of want the same things: to be happy, healthy, safe, and comfortable. (Most) people are not like the pictures we saw in our childbook text- and storybooks. Maybe thousands of years ago people were so different, but now?? Not so much.
I even went to a SECOND place after kbbq…even though at that point my “oldness” was catching up to me and I was getting tired. Some of them wanted to go on to 노래방 “noreh bang,” which means literally, “song room,” which is…you guessed it, karoake. Which is VERY big here. Tons of them on every street. But it’s different here than in the US. Here you rent a room for a certain amount of time, so it’s just you and your friends (or just you if you want). You can get food and drinks. It’s a good place to go that’s not a bar or club, and most young people don’t have their own apartments, as they’re too expensive compared to Korean salaries. Like the PC Bang…and ALL the coffee shops where they expect you to set up shop with your laptop and books for hours…
I feel that’s something the US is not doing well. Giving people places to GO. It seems like so many opportuities lose out to development of housing/retail spaces.
Okay. That’s it for me. It was a pretty good day (other than getting my embarrassing report card) and helped wipe away yesterday.
Saturday, Nov 18
Hid out in my room and recovered from the week.
It was glorious.
Sunday, Nov 19
Back to studying! I want to get a jump start on the class…I’m trying to get through both textbooks before class starts on Dec 6, so I need to get through a couple chapters a day and review the vocabulary. Anything I was not 100% on, I’ll go over with the tutor. I HAVE to pass this time…and it has to cause me less stress.
Took a quick break to go to a nearby sandwich shop Toasty Road, it’s very cute, just a teeny tiny hole in the wall, with a window you order through…and then wait five minutes for your sandwich. I got an egg, bacon, cheese on toast. I’ve been missing my weekend bacon egg and cheese from NY…and I know NOTHING is the same, but I’m hoping to find a reasonable facsimile thereof.
This was not it. Korean “bacon” is more like ham, the egg was that like “shaped scrambled egg” like on an egg mcmuffin, the cheese was mozzarella…but there was ALSO a thin pancake layer with corn and green onions…and a sauce that seemed a little like barbecue sauce. No. And I don’t know about other countries, but here it is not like it is in the US with “have it YOUR way, have it your way.” Like at Starbucks at home almost every order is like a custom order, “I’ll have a grande lukewarm creamy milky cafe mocha with no chocolate and extra whip fratala.” Not here. There are five options on the menu board and those are your five options. Exactly as they are on the menu board. So I will not be going back there and asking him to omit the pancake and barbecue sauce.
Study study study…then I met my friend at 6:00 and we took the bus to a nearby cute area BUT, as usual, our phones would not connect to data once we were off the bus so we were never able to find exactly the spot we wanted to go…and we walked two miles just to get pizza and then take a taxi home (I was able to use the pizza place’s wifi to get the taxi when we were in there).
I just don’t understand why we can never use our phones outdoors. It makes things REALLY CHALLENGING when you’re going places you’ve never been. I see all the Korean people on their phones CONSTANTLY inside and out. I’m hoping when I get an actual Korean phone plan, that maybe that will make a difference…I hope the issue isn’t with the phone ITSELF.
When I got home I studied some more…and now it’s time to go to sleep and prepare for another day OF VACATION 🙂
Goodnight.
Lisa
I was wondering if everyone in your class is from another Asian country. Evidently not, since you said those students did well but the others didn’t. Does everyone in your class speak some English? I know you aren’t happy that you didn’t pass BUT you made it through the first class! You are truly brave!!!!
bettyewp
Oh, I thought I talked about this, but maybe that’s in THIS week’s post (which is really NEXT WEEK’S post) – it’s very hard to keep the weeks straight in my head when there are always like 3 current posts. Anyway, 15 students in the class. 12 from Asian countries (Mongolia, Nepal, China). 3 from non-Asian countries (US, Brazil, Columbia). The 12 ASian students all passed. None of the 3 non-Asian students passed. I think almost everyone speaks at least a LITTLE English, though a couple of them it’s SO little, it’s not even…useful. Plus, they’re shy about speaking it. I think in many countries, English is a required second language. But just cuz they passed a class, doesn’t mean they’re fluent. I know a lot of grammar and vocabulary, but I’m still VERY uncomfortable trying to say ANYTHING (beyond hello and thank you and stop here) to a native Korean in the wild.
Not giving up. I’ll die with my student loan…while still in Korean 1. Ha ha.
Marceline
I’m sorry about the disappointing grade, but I’m with Lisa – you are SO wonderfully brave!
bettyewp
Aww, thanks, Marceline. I hope to someday FEEL as brave as everyone keeps saying I am :-\
jodie
You have gumption. Because doing hard stuff isn’t easy. I’m not sure I’d be up for it. But you are doing it, even with all of the ups and downs.
XOOX
Jodie
bettyewp
SO MANY UPS AND DOWNS. Literally. Seoul is the hilliest place I’ve ever lived. Just getting through the subway station to a train…UP the stairs, DOWN the stairs, UP the escalator, DOWN the stairs, UP the stairs…well, you get the picture. I never understand the construction…I’m always like “if we went up a level then down a level, aren’t we on the same level we started on??” Ha ha.
Barbara
I feel you. It was a very hard at the beginning, but the knot will burst!
Enjoy your days off, repeat the “old” stuff and next time you will graduate.
bettyewp
I’m up to Ch 10 already (there’s 30 chapters…and I’ve got 2 weeks before I start the new class). I’m doing EVERY exercise in both the text and workbook, and when I have any questions I ask the tutor. And what a difference now – first of all, I really did learn a lot…just not at the pace of the class. Second, being anxiety-free I think is making a huge difference in my ability to absorb and retain information, cuz everything I’m going through now I’m like yeah yeah, I got that, no problem.
I’m just praying for a teacher who S P E A K S M O R E S L O W L Y this time!!!
Tina
I spoke with the young lady from my church on Sunday who spent a year in Korea to learn the language. She said she had a really hard time with it also. She was able to converse enough to order food, but still had a hard time following a conversation unless they spoke really slow.😄 We live near Atlanta, so she has joined a Korean mom’s group where they meet weekly and only speak Korean so that she can continue to learn. She plans on going back to Korea in a couple of years after she completes her degree. So, if a young American was having trouble and also didn’t graduate, it’s not about the age factor. It was just hard, but not impossible. I’m glad you’re pressing on to complete this. Now you’re armed with more knowledge than before and you’ll do better!! Enjoy your time off. 😎
bettyewp
Thank, Tina 🙂 And ha ha, yeah, I just spent about an hour trying to order food online…taking screenshots of menus, opening them in the translator app…lather rinse repeat. I will definitely learn how to say “I’d like fries with that” before I can say anything actually useful 🙂
PS: I finally got my food order placed…TWO HOURS AGO, and they have yet to respond. At this point (it’s 8:30pm) I’m just gonna eat some dry cereal out of the bag and call it a day.
xoxo Bettye
Marian
“ The Foreign Service Institute (FSI) rates Korean as one of the hardest languages for English speakers to learn, describing it as exceptionally difficult.”
Orienting your brain to any new language is difficult but one with a different base/system than your own is so much harder.
Dumb question but have you watched Korean children’s shows? Speech is slower, more clear and simple. May help orient your ear. When I was learning Hebrew in the 80’s, I had a much easier time understanding young children and they were not as judgmental as adults.
I’ll never forget when I was in the supermarket and I tried asking for feta cheese at the deli counter which is “salty cheese” in Hebrew. I asked for “dirty” cheese because dirty sounds almost the same as salty. “Gee, let me look on the floor”’said the guy while everyone in line laughed. Or the time I needed raisins for a recipe:
Excuse me. I don’t know the word. I need: Grapes. Small. Very small. In the sun. (with hand ventures)
Soon I had a small crowd trying to guess what I meant. It was like playing charades in aisle 5. And I had to end the game when I was ready to cry and I never got the raisins. “Tsimukim”
Don’t worry, it does get better.
bettyewp
I have watched many types of “korean language” shows/videos, including children’s. And yes, when they go R E A L L Y S L O W L Y with familiar vocabulary, I can understand. But so far I’ve been unable to brudge the gap between that…and real life. I keep learning more vocabulary…but those people aren’t there aren’t using MY vocabulary, ha ha. It will get better. And thanks for the FSI info 🙂
That’s so funny about dirty cheese, cuz just yesterday I was at the market trying to pick out a cheese to make grilled cheese sandwiches. Everything in this market is in Korean, so it takes me forever scanning packaging with my phone app. One cheese said “Many Dirty Cheeses” in the translation…and I tried to get a screenshot of that but my fumbly fingers couldn’t get it, and by the time I finally got the phone positioned right in my hand, the translation was correct (and not nearly as funny).
Ohh…I get the “ready to cry” 🙁 Boo. It’s frustrating and humiliating to not be able to communicate 🙁
Did you ever get fluent in Hebrew?
Jaynn
Thank you for continuing to share with such honesty and humility. I get so excited seeing you have a new post up and really enjoy reading about your adventures. Just wanted to wish you a good holiday, whatever that looks like there, and hope you get to connect by phone or video for some extra special daughter time. Great to hear you are able to re-take your class, you rock that you are not giving up!
bettyewp
Thanks, Jayne. Holidays here are weird, cuz no one is recognizing my American holidays here…and the timing is off for salutations in the US…so they just end up feeling like any other day…except in the back of my mind I’m kinda like BUT IT’S NOT.
Katie and I texted (I think?) which is our main form of communication anyway, neither of us are phone talkers really.
Happy Belated Thanksgiving to you!
Anonymous
Yes, fluent in day to day conversation. I had Hebrew after-school as a kid which taught reading and mostly prayer Hebrew and a little modern Hebrew. Like twice/week. Taught by a no-native Hebrew speaker working with us kids (easier to understand). I went to Israel after college for a year and took their “Ulpan” system of Hebrew for immigrants to function. When I had anglos in class, we spoke English together. When we had a mix, we really spoke Hebrew together which made a big difference in my learning.
But most people in Israel speak English and as soon as they heard my awful American accent, they spoke English with me. Except supermarket employees!
My one year bumming around became 5 and I had to get a job. I became an export secretary (wanted: native English speaker) and I was hearing Hebrew all day at work and sorting the mail in Hebrew and such things. That’s when it kicked in. I was forced to use it.
I never could understand the news or read a newspaper. My reading and writing is like a 6 year old. I should explain: adult Hebrew writing is without vowels. My schoolbooks and prayer books had vowels. Take away the vowels and every word became a guessing game – like playing Wordle!
At work I eventually had to take the minutes at meetings and that was really hard. I always had to ask someone after the meeting what I missed. At least they let me write them in English.
I got conversant and I could read and understand bus ads and signs. But I also never pushed myself or studied like you’re doing.
I did miserably in college at German.and my parents spoke German! I thought it would be easy! College level went so fast. I could never keep up. But that was academic. College language gets you good at reading and writing so you can read Goethe and Freud in German.
Hebrew was immigrant get-functional classes. Very different. Much easier. You learn post office vocabulary, practice dialogues in class, then you go to the post office the next day and use it.
Are you classes academic or functional or both?
bettyewp
“Are your classes academic or functional or both?” I don’t even know how to answer that! Ha ha. We mostly cover grammar rules…then the exercises in the book utilize new vocabulary and sometimes we read them out loud, but there’s really no extemporaneous speaking, which is probably what you mean by functional? I’m getting that a bit with the tutor.
Marian
Yes, fluent in day to day conversation. I had Hebrew after-school as a kid which taught reading and mostly prayer Hebrew and a little modern Hebrew. Like twice/week. Taught by a no-native Hebrew speaker working with us kids (easier to understand). I went to Israel after college for a year and took their “Ulpan” system of Hebrew for immigrants to function. When I had anglos in class, we spoke English together. When we had a mix, we really spoke Hebrew together which made a big difference in my learning.
But most people in Israel speak English and as soon as they heard my awful American accent, they spoke English with me. Except supermarket employees!
My one year bumming around became 5 and I had to get a job. I became an export secretary (wanted: native English speaker) and I was hearing Hebrew all day at work and sorting the mail in Hebrew and such things. That’s when it kicked in. I was forced to use it.
I never could understand the news or read a newspaper. My reading and writing is like a 6 year old. I should explain: adult Hebrew writing is without vowels. My schoolbooks and prayer books had vowels. Take away the vowels and every word became a guessing game – like playing Wordle!
At work I eventually had to take the minutes at meetings and that was really hard. I always had to ask someone after the meeting what I missed. At least they let me write them in English.
I got conversant and I could read and understand bus ads and signs. But I also never pushed myself or studied like you’re doing.
I did miserably in college at German.and my parents spoke German! I thought it would be easy! College level went so fast. I could never keep up. But that was academic. College language gets you good at reading and writing so you can read Goethe and Freud in German.
Hebrew was immigrant get-functional classes. Very different. Much easier. You learn post office vocabulary, practice dialogues in class, then you go to the post office the next day and use it.
Are your classes academic or functional or both?
Marian
I got conversant fluent. My reading and writing is like a first grader. I lived in Israel for 5 years (in the 1989’s) and never could understand the news or read a newspaper. I could read signs, menus and food packages, and short things.
Btw, in adult Hebrew, words are written without vowels. As a child or student, you get vowels. Then they take them away. Imagine…trying to read every word is like playing Wordle.
I took German in college. I thought it would be easy. My parents spoke German and I thought I had an ear for it. But half the class had had German in high school. And the pace was insanely fast. I had to take it 4 semesters worth and nearly failed. But the goal in university is to get you to be able to read Goethe or Freud in German. It’s academic language class.
In Israel, they had an immersive “Ulpan” language program which focuses on getting immigrants to be functional as fast possible. It’s like 80% speaking and 20% reading/writing. You learn a lesson in post office vocabulary, practice dialogues in class, A day later you find yourself going to the post office and using what you learned. That’s conversant language class. Much easier for me than academic.
Most people spoke English and as soon as they heard my awful American accent, they wanted to speak English. (except supermarket employees). So I got very little practice at first. I initially went for a year to goof around but once I realized I was going to stay for 4 more years, I got a full time job (export secretary) and then I was hearing and using Hebrew all day. That’s when things started to stick. The hardest part was taking meeting minutes – I always had to ask someone afterwards all the things I missed. Luckily they let me write them in English.
I didn’t have the need or interest in getting better at reading and writing. I didn’t have your tenacity, that’s for sure. My head was swimming at the end of every work day.
You’re right…children’s programs are not your day-to-day adult language. Children are not renting a room or going to a hospital for tests.
Another funny story: I went for my first haircut after I lived there and my friend recommended a stylist who worked from her apartment. She didn’t speak a word of English (she was a Russian immigrant). She spoke as if I understood and make a recommendation for “Katsar” and as she was nodding yes, I just nodded yes too.
I got a pixie cut. From long waist length. As soon as I nodded yes, her scissors went 2 inches above my scalp and SNIP! KATSAR!
And that’s how I learned the word for SHORT!
Enjoy your vacation.
Food mistakes are super frustrating but you won’t starve.
Be careful at the hairdresser.
bettyewp
Oh no, did it look like your comments were disappearing, so you kept rewriting them?? For some mysterious reasons, a lot of comments wind up in the trash…but now try to remember to check the trash every day and then I can restore and respond to them. If you ever think your comments aren’t going through, just email me blr60@yahoo.com, and I’ll check for it in the trash.
THAT SAID…At this point I think I’d be happy to speak as well as a first grader! I don’t need to get a job here or take any classes in Korean beyond language, so I just need to be able to get around. I’m sure if I had Korean people to speak to IN Korean, I’d pick it up faster. The closest I have to that is Jun, the tutor, who know incorporates a lot of question&answer into our sessions, so it’s less just “did you learn this chapter’s grammar point,” and more being able to use the grammar and vocabulary in actual conversation. I still make a lot of mistakes but I’ve definitely gotten better since working with him.
WHY DO THEY TAKE AWAY THE VOWELS FOR ADULTS IN HEBREW??
I have a haircut scheduled for this week…but I made sure to find someone who speaks English 🙂 I was not risking MY HAIR. I can’t imagine ACCIDENTAL PIXIE-CUT from waist-length hair GAHHHH!!!
Chris jargowsky
Your blogs continue to amaze me with your courage to continue to try new things. You truly are one of the smartest people I know, everything is new there, your brain is in overdrive. I also love reading all the supportive comments. Women support systems are amazing in so many ways. Joe you enjoy your break studying, relaxing, eating and exploring.
bettyewp
Oh my gosh, everyone here is THE BEST!!! I get so much support from my friends here on the blog…I doubt they even know how much they mean to me xoxo
Brain in Overdrive could be the title for Chapter 1 of my time in Korea. Yeesh. What I’m realizing now over the break, as I work my way through the two textbooks from Class 1, is that it’s not that I didn’t UNDERSTAND or LEARN stuff…because I’m having no problem now, doing it at my own pace and having the time for repetition so things stick in my brain – it’s that the anxiety and pressure of keeping up with the hyper-speed of the class just put an absolute STOP to my brain working.
But that is the nature of the class. They need to cover X amount of material in 10 weeks. I heard they keep the class so fast-paced cuz a lot of students are here to learn Korean so they can take the TOPIK (Test of Proficiency in Korean) test and get into a Korean University. And they want to keep things moving. It would be nice, then, if they had two separate tracks in Korean 1: those who are hurrying to get into University (Fast Track), and those who are learning the language more recreationally, with no set timeline (Leisurely Track).
Thanks for always stopping by to say such nice things – love you!
xoxo Bettye
julia
Bettye! I am living for these posts! I just listened to a podcast on Slate.com titled “how to learn a language” and I don’t know if you’re already doing this but he suggested reading in the language you’re trying to learn while listening to the same text in the language you’re trying to learn. He said people usually needed more input (reading, hearing) than output (speaking, writing) to learn. Here is the link: https://slate.com/podcasts/how-to/2023/09/language-learning-tips-tricks-learn-fast
I am thinking of you and sending you strong, adventure vibes and rooting for you!
bettyewp
Julia!!! Hello, my friend! How is your traveling going? Are you hunkered down in one place for the winter??
I will definitely listen to that podcast, thanks for thinking of me! That sounds good – reading the same text that you’re listening to – wonder if I can find something like that on YouTube. I could turn Korean subtitles on for the kdramas I watch, but I feel like in a show like that you’re getting a million different words one or two times…and it seems like it would be more useful with more word repetition. Like watching a Korean class in Korean with Korean subtitles…hm. Will have to look into that.
Don’t Be a Stranger!!!
xoxo Bettye