Monday, April 15

Tutor. Class. Home.

I’m a little down this week. Yes, already. It’s only Monday and I’m already like ugh. It rained today and that’s always annoying.

I wanted to buy two tomatoes. You can’t buy two tomatoes. But you CAN accidentally buy two PACKS of tomatoes, containing 6 tomatoes each. I overheard a classmate saying she wanted to make some kind of Italian food. I was like I’M BRINGING YOU TOMATOES TOMORROW.

A classmate from last term brought me some little gifts for Eid Day, which I think marks the end of Ramadan. Food gifts. My favorite kind. That was very thoughtful of her.

Tuesday, April 16

When did the name Froot Loops change to Froot Ring? And was it always spelled “froot”?

Guess what I had for breakfast.

Met LEP#2 in the evening. He started a new job two weeks ago so now can’t meet til 7:30, which is a little harder for me as I’m done with class at 5:30 so I’m just like killing time in the coffee shop waiting for him. I do my homework and study…then there’s another hour…and then I’m tired of sitting and I’m getting sleepy. Whine whine whine. The net is I just don’t last as long once he gets there.

Remember two weeks ago when he said I looked depressed? Tonight he said I looked tired. I WAS, but…

My big accomplishment of the evening was carrying my tray to the table with a sandwich and iced drink while on one crutch. WHICH, I must say, I’m not feeling as dependent on all of a sudden. Like just in the past week the pain has reduced a lot.

When I got home from meeting with LEP#2, my building friend had left me a box of Krispy Kreme donuts at my door 🙂

Wednesday, April 17

Review Test that I panicked about…but I think I did alright. I know we’re flying towards the point where I lose all track of what’s going on in class…but so far I’m managing to hold on so far.

I’m really starting to reconsider the surgery next week. I feel like every day it’s a little better. After 6 weeks of PAIN, that is such a pleasure. Plus, it’s a LOT of money, out of pocket…which if you asked me even just two weeks ago I’d have been like (and WAS)  TAKE ALL MY MONEY JUST GET RID OF THIS PAIN. Now I’m kinda like, hmm…if I just take it slow, it’s not so bad.

Thursday, April 18

Well…sadly, on Hyungeun Thursday I am sitting home alone writing to y’all (nothing personal). He’s having a full week and needed to reschedule. I’m sad and pointing out to myself that in just four months he’ll be leaving for university in the UK and EVERY Thursday will be me sitting home alone.

Oh, I am REALLY in it this week.

Plus, knee even mo better today. Walked down 16 steps to take out my trash AND to the cafe on the first floor SANS CRUTCH. I don’t have ice packs on my knee 24/7 at home (I was always trying to figure out an easy way to take them to class as well but I never quite got that figured out). At this moment the surgery seems…premature. That’s as far as I’ll go. I could always reschedule if the pain got bad again. But I was chatting with Dr Google and they say torn meniscusi (?) can sometimes repair themselves in 6-8 weeks…and tomorrow will be 6 weeks exactly to the lightning-bolt-of-pain day that almost took me out on the hill going home after class. So that sort of tracks.

I will continue to take it easy…but I will make a decision by Monday, whether or not to have the surgery next week or push it off for a bit. I’ll keep on  the crutches out in the world cuz that’s keeping the bulk of my, well, bulk, off my knee (AND my left foot I hurt last fall, torn meniscus perk) and that’s still a good thing.

But relatively speaking, it’s doing much better. 9.5 pain down to…7? I bet tomorrow will be 6.5.

Friday, April 19

Thumbs up for Friday.

And therein ends the list of good things for today. I got the test back that I thought I did alright on. 69. Guh. I stupidly only took one crutch to school…and then couldn’t get an Uber home so had to walk. Which wasn’t the plan. It was a pity party all the way home. The pain wasn’t too bad but it was exhausting and slow and annoying and aggravating. I tried a new chicken flavor for Friday night delivery and didn’t like it that much. I’m out of Dr. Pepper. I watched the first episodes of two different shows and couldn’t bring myself to watch a second episode of either.

I am just feeling DISGRUNTLED.

And then I feel guilty and ashamed cuz I am LITERALLY living my dream…and all I can do is whine about everything.

Saturday, April 20

I have an appointment next week for the urologist to follow-up on the kidney stone issues that kept being put off cuz insurance (or the lack thereof). So, this morning I was supposed to go to a NEW urology clinic to get a referral to go back to the urologist I have been to three times already. Even though it was the original urologist’s office that made me this appointment in the first place! Cuz that’s how they do it here. It makes no sense, but.

ANYWAY. When I woke up it was raining and if you’ve ever lived on crutches you know that crutches and rain are not a good combo, cuz crutches take two hands and an umbrella takes one hand and well, you do the math. And today I was in PAIN. I think all the walking yesterday on just the one crutch was not a good plan and now I was paying for it. So the thought of going back out with just one crutch, just…No Thank You. I’ll pass. So I mostly stayed in bed all day (not cuz of my knee, just cuz…well, depression probably, to be honest). I got dressed at one point just to take trash out…but mostly just did sad things alone in my room.

As I mentioned earlier, Living the Dream.

Sunday, April 21

A combination of knee discomfort way back down and finally receiving the antihistamines (with diphenhydramine) I ordered like a month ago, allowed me to sleep lloonnngggg. For the first time in ages. And it was good. By the time I was finally up and about, it was too late to get anywhere as it opened (and that’s my thing, I want to be places When They Open, for little to no waiting, no crowds, etc), so…I just stayed home again.

I did get a list of psychiatrists who prescribe medications…I know I need that. It took me awhile to really connect all the dots, but yeah, I need to get back on the antidepressants sooner than later. Now let’s see how long it takes me to contact one here and make an appointment, You’d think it would be fast. but no. Me and phone calls…nononono. It makes no sense, but that is irrelevant. I really really REALLY have to get myself worked up to make a phone call like that. And HERE it’s 10x worse because MOST of the time, the person who answers the phone doesn’t speak English.

Korea is my phone call hell on earth.

Anyway…it’s almost 5pm. I’m ending this a little early. I’m sorry. This was a pretty lame post. I considered not sharing it and just rolling it into next week’s, as there’s nothing much here and certainly no (well, I think 5) pictures. But I decided to let this ship sail and to move on. Maybe next week will be better.

I have to reach out to the sports hospital tomorrow to say I want to take the surgery off the calendar for now. I don’t know if he’ll need to see me again or what. There will be another review test. Hopefully Hyungeun will be not so busy this week and we can meet up. There’s a class field trip on Friday up to Namsan Tower, but…the cable car only goes up part way, and then there are a MILLION steps up to the main viewing platform. I just can’t. So I don’t know what happens. Do I get marked as absent or…? I don’t know. Last class I missed the field trip cuz I had kidney stones that day. In the first class the field trip was attending the University’s fall festival, and that was the day I hurt my left foot. So far, the class field trips not so great for me.

Wow. What a downer. I’m confident that ice cream would help, so I’ll have to to see if I can make that happen.

Til next time…