Life This (Partial) Week in South Korea: May 20-24, 2024

Monday, May 20

First “real” day of vacation. I’m on vacation until June 5. The breaks are all about 2.5 weeks, which is a nice length.

Had a tutoring session in the morning, with a minor meltdown. I’m getting so frustrated that things we’ve gone over and over and over again are just not sticking! And then I cry, and then I feel bad cuz I’m making HIM feel bad, like he’s making me cry.

Went to a psychiatrist in the afternoon. He’d said in email that he could prescribe Wellbutrin after a quick assessment. He was very nice. Gentle and soft-spoken. He asked for a brief history of why I was on an anti-depressant in the first place, so I recapped the past 30ish years of my life in about 4 minutes…tears included, sigh. I cannot stop crying.

I also mentioned the anxiety, which the Wellbutrin seems to affect a little bit, but…I still get anxiety. I wouldn’t say crippling anxiety, because clearly I’m able to get up and out and function (for the most part) like a typical human being. I MIGHT say “brain crippling,” because when the situation (and by situation I mean when faced with people and/or unfamiliar/confusing scenarios) makes me anxious, it feels like my brain just trembles to a near halt. I don’t comprehend, I can’t learn, I don’t retain, I’m unable to process new information…physically, I get the sweats and trip over my tongue, but those I could live with if my my brain would just work!

The doctor explained that that is, indeed, a very real thing…that anxiety affects cognitive performance, especially with things like memory and difficulties in concentrating (#welcometomyworld). He suggested we start with the Wellbutrin, which has proven to help me in the past, and then assess in the near future. I ALSO asked him about getting tested (or however you do this) for ADHD. I hate labels like that, and I don’t want to be viewed as just jumping on the adult ADHD bandwagon, but…I’ve heard (anecdotally) of so many people who have been helped with medication, and that, like the Wellbutrin was for me 5 years ago, the ADHD medication is life-changing. He reiterated that we just start with the Wellbutrin, and go from there.

Okay.

One thing that is irking me a bit…is when people try to sort of…soften…my issue a bit by saying, “well, learning a new language IS frustrating and difficult,” like that’s all I’m dealing with. I GET that. But I also know the difference between regular frustration (why won’t this damn cell phone work right?) and frustration as a result of an inability to process and move through a situation. Anyway, it makes sense to me. And I get that they’re probably just trying to make me feel better “oh everyone struggles with that, you’re not alone.” That does NOT make me feel better.

Anyway, as of this writing, I’ve been on the meds for 8 days…5 years ago doctor said I would see results in 4-6 weeks, but my one friend who I saw a couple times every week, after TWO weeks said “you are a different person.” This doctor said it would be at least two weeks. So, yeah, I’m just hanging on for the next six days cus I DEFINITELY want to be a different person right now.

Enough of that. Funny story: when I came out of the doctor’s office (did I mention it was on the 3rd floor of a no elevator building?) the building parking garage guy (who’d seen me struggling to go UP, and asked if I needed help), gave me a chair to sit in while I waited for my Uber…then ALL the parking garage guys came over (LOOK! AN AMERICAN!) and were asking a bunch of questions, but one, when he noticed the crutch (I still take one everywhere I go), started asking what was wrong, if I’d had surgery, etc etc and then he goes WAIT (JamKahnMan!), and dashes off, returning with a spray can of SOMETHING. I was wearing a dress, so he asked if I could lift so he could see my knee (uh, what’s happening here), and then proceeds to spray down my entire leg, lifting my dress to get everywhere (SORRY SORRY), finally the uber is there, and he’s still trying to cover every square inch of my leg with whateverwasinthespraycan. Ha. A couple guys are telling the uber driver to wait, someone gets the door for me, another helps me up out of the chair and down the ramp to the car…turns out it’s like tiger balm spray for sore muscles, and once I was in the car I REEKED of spray analgesic. I wish I could have had it all on camera, it was like a 3-ring circus of whoknowswhat.

Tuesday, May 21

Got up bright and early to prepare for Katie’s arrival…tidied up my room, threw out any food that might go bad while I was away for five days…packed my bag, and scheduled an uber to take me to the airport. She’d said I didn’t need to meet her, but to me, Love is Meeting Your People at the Airport.

I have such fond memories of being met at the airport or train station by my California family every summer when my mother and I would arrive. EVERYBODY came and we were all so happy so see one another…even when I was too shy to show it.

Katie flew into the smaller international airport, Gimpo, and it was SO much nicer than Incheon (when I mentioned this to some people they were like, but it’s so old and Incheon is so modern, I was like I HAVE NEVER SEEN SHINIER FLOORS IN MY LIFE, plus, it’s small size is less intimidating for me. You walk in the door and see everything you need (arrival gate, bathroom, bank, Dunkin Donuts).

And finally, there she was…after a million hours of flying, in all her sleepy but beautiful glory. Phew.

We availed ourselves of the bathroom, bank, and Dunkin Donuts (Korean Dunkin SO much better than US Dunkin. Fight me.), and walked outside straight into a taxi. Such a simple process.

Speaking of taxis, let me tell you about Korean Taxi Drivers…and while I should not lump them altogether, since I’ve been hurt I have ridden in a LOT of taxis, and I can tell you the vast majority fall under one of three categories:

1) The StopGo Driver. While driving in traffic, while driving in NO traffic, while stopped at a stop light…they do a jerky little tap dance of gas-brake-gas-brake-gas-brake, ad infinitum. So you are constantly being jerked a bit forward and back forward and back. I just don’t understand why this is common across SO many drivers! I asked my Korean friends about it and they laughed and said yes, the drivers are like that.

2) The Mouth Sounds Driver. Personally, this is worse for me than StopGo Driver. They chew gum, they chew gum and plastic pen or bottle caps, they suck their teeth, they clear their throats (not technically a mouth sound but), they just generally make sounds with their mouths and I. CANNOT. HANDLE. MOUTH. SOUNDS.

3) (how do I say this nicely) The Odorous Driver. There’s a particular smell, it’s common across many people…and I don’t know if it’s a body odor or a mouth odor…you know when someone drinks a ton, sleeps a bit, then wakes up and talks/breathes/sweats close to you? It’s LIKE that, but the scent is different than just regular alcohol breath. I always wonder if it’s soju-based or kimchi-based, both of which are heavily consumed here, especially kimchi, on a daily basis.

My favorite category, which sadly is a small one, is Drivers Who Speak Korean but Try to Talk to Me Anyway. Most everyone here knows at least a COUPLE of words/phrases in English, so that helps. But my favorite people to talk to here are taxi drivers because there is little barrier to entry. They have no expectation of me being able to say ANYTHING in Korean, so when I say anything at all, they’re like OOH! And then we have a nice little conversation that generally goes something like this:

Driver: (in blazing fast Korean) Do you speak Korean?

Me: (in halting Korean) A little. I don’t speak Korean well. 

Driver: How long have you been in Korea?

Me: Since last August.

Driver: (a little gasp) Why did you come to Korea?

Me: I’m studying Korean at the University.

Driver: How old are you? (this is a common and perfectly acceptable question here. People need to know your age relevant to theirs so they know at what honorific level to speak to)

Me: 63 (actually, I often say 33 first cuz I mix up the two words but when they go THIRTY-THREE?!? I know I need to correct myself)

Driver: Ahh.

It might stop there, or if I’m feeling brave I’ll ask if they’ve ever been to the US and surprisingly, most were in the US “about ten years ago” for work, and now one of their children lives there and they hardly ever get to see their grandchildren.

Wait, what I was talking about? Oh, Katie! Ha ha.

We arrived at our airbnb that I had booked for our 2.5 days in Seoul as my room is too small to house her and I and it probably isn’t allowed anyway. Plus, it made it feel more like a vacation for me to stay somewhere else. PLUS, I booked a room in the building I’d wanted to live in here. And it was just as perfect as I’d imagined. The only difference was we were on the north side (sunrise facing) of the building, and I wanted south side (sunset facing). But still, it just felt like a perfect fit. She had furniture comparable to what I would have had (full size bed, small sofa, desk) and it was a nice fit. And the giant window with the long-reaching view…sigh. The bathroom and kitchen were comfortably-sized and the shower was GREAT. Sigh. But that is to never be.

I’d booked us on a Seoul city bus tour for the afternoon so she/we could get an overview of main areas, but it was a little disappointing. It was more like a shuttle bus that just happened to stop at a few landmarks (with many hotel stops in-between). And the recorded “tour guide” was always JUST a little off from where we actually were: “The theater to your right is the famous blah blah blah where many amazing events took place, note the many architectural details” and in reality you were next to a dumpster. Then we’d start moving and in 30 seconds you’d quickly pass by what looked like a famous theater with many architectural details, but…you couldn’t really look at it cuz the bus was moving.

The best part was driving up Namsan Mountain to get close to Namsan Tower (which is like Korea’s Eiffel Tower, a landmark where everybody goes), through the lush green trees…and when we stopped at the top you got the view of Seoul stretching out for miles below. Katie liked that part best.

We had a light lunch, relaxed in the ac in the room for a bit, then headed out to a Meerkat Cafe.

I’ve always been on the fence about animal cafes…and really lean towards the anti side, but…Katie wanted to go and I read a lot of positive reviews about this particular place, so we went. We got there just about as it was closing, so we coould only visit the second floor animals. I loved the kinkajou (the fuzzy brown fellow on my shoulder), Katie loved the meerkats. I couldn’t sit on the floor with them so they were more drawn to her, as she was down at their level. One lay in her lap for her to rub its belly.

Overall, the place was very clean, they had LOTS of rules for the animal’s protection, and clearly there was familiarity between the animals and the workers, so in those regards it was fine. I’m just sad thinking this is their entire life…I can’t imagine the little kangaroo ever gets to hop across a meadow or the meerkats get to stand atop a dirt hill. And I know that our presence just fed into the animal cafe machine, helping propel it forward. I am complicit in the kangaroo’s lack of freedom.

Recently in Korea they passed a law about animal cafes…that would shut down quite a few of them if they couldn’t manage to change their legal/licensing status in some way. I don’t remember it exactly, but it seemed like a good thing. There are a LOT of animal cafes in Seoul.

I know some of them are based in good intentions, bringing shelter cats and dogs in each day both for their socialization (instead of sitting in a cage all day) and increasing their chances of being adopted. I think that’s a good thing.

Wednesday, May 22

Wow, this is getting awfully long. I’m going to figure out how to break it into smaller parts.

Anyway, today was A LOT. We had way too many things on the agenda…there was too much walking (5.2 miles! I don’t believe I’ve EVER walked that much in a day in my LIFE)…there was stress between us…and it was hot.

We started the day at a really pretty cafe in Ikseondong (a charming alley-way village of old Hanok buildings turned into shops, restaurants, and cafes) for some artisanal level …cakes? Not exactly sure what you’d call them. But they were pretty and they were tasty…and we both like to eat in a pretty place.

Then we headed to Changdeokgung Palace for a “Secret Garden Tour,” which I thought was going to be the King’s backyard where the pretty flowers were, but was actually a HIKE up the HILL and it was just a lot for me. The whole thing started off poorly when I realized I had never gotten an email confirmation for the tickets I’d purchased the week before…and now (of course) I couldn’t log into my account and it was asking for all my Korean numbers (passport, ARC, address, phone, etc) and the tour was starting in three minutes and they lady just kept saying PAY HERE PAY HERE and I was like I ALREADY PAID and Katie was annoyed and I was flustered and my anxiety flared up and…

In the end, I put the whole explanation into the translator and took it to the customer service window, asking if my name wasn’t on file…it was, she gave me our tickets and said, the tour is leaving in a minute, so HURRY BUT BE CAREFUL (crutch). Well, the starting point of the tour was about half a mile away and so we hurried for awhile but then thought…we’re never going to make it, surely they’ve left without us…so I rested on a bench in the shade near the entrance to the secret garden. There were a COUPLE people standing there talking to the guard, so we went over and he let us all in to catch up with the group, saying HURRY BUT BE CAREFUL. At that point, “hurry” was not really an option for me, as we made our way up the first hill, stopping a few times to take pictures…until someone from the tour group backtracked to find us and said we needed to catch up to the group, we couldn’t be in here unattended, so HURRY BUT BE CAREFUL.

We caught up with the group at a lovely spot with a little pond and some lovely old buildings and I wanted to take some pictures but first I needed to sit for just a few minutes, but as soon as i headed to a bench, the tour guide said ONWARD and everyone got up and started walking again. And thus the itinerary for the entire tour was created. I would fall behind the group as I am very slow right now, and would catch up to the group (and the sitting) JUST as they started to move on again.

But it WAS pretty…and I would love to go back in the fall when the trees are changing and it’s cooler and I’m not broken or late.

After the hour-long tour, we headed to Dongdaemun Design Plaza for the HELLO KITTY 50TH ANNIVERSARY POP-UP EXHIBIT. Hello Kitty (did you know her name is NOT “Hello Kitty,” but Kitty White, and “Hello Kitty” is just what people say to her when they see her?) has been a part of our lives since Katie was little…and we have a Christmas tradition of every year exchanging one Hello Kitty item in one another’s stockings. So the fact that this exhibit was happening right here right now when Katie was here seemed too good to be true. We learned all about Kitty’s friends and family, and saw all the Sanrio products from over the years.

By the time we left there I felt like I was on Death’s Door…so we went back to the room, cranked the ac, and just let our bodies rest. For a little while. Til it was time to head to Myeongdong Night Market with all the street food vendors. Unfortunately, I was not that hungry as I’d grabbed a 7-11 sandwich somewhere along the way…and we had dinner plans right afterward and didn’t want to spoil my appetite. I did manage to get down a hotteok (small fried pancake served hot filled with honey, cinnamon, nuts), because anytime I SEE a hotteok I must HAVE a hotteok. She got teriyaki chicken (? maybe ?) on a skewer. I pooped out quickly and had to sit and rest a bit before heading to dinner.

We were meeting Hyungeun and Jun at a popular Korean barbecue place for Katie to have the real Korean dining experience. Due to its popularity, there was quite a long wait to get in, but once inside, the food was worth it. It’s the best samgyeopsal (pork belly) I’ve had since coming to Korea. It was “black pork,” which is considered to be the best. I don’t really know what makes it “black” or different than other pork belly, but it WAS delicious. After dinner we walked (again with the walking) to a pojang macha street, lined with outdoor eating/drinking establishments. I love these areas. I wish there was something like this closer to where I live. Anyway. We all talked and drank…they were charming as usual and Katie seemed comfortable with them (you know, sometimes kids meeting their parents’ friends is not always the most comfortable situation…but truly, they’re closer to her age than to mine, so…it was good). Sadly, since we’d eaten so late they had to leave fairly quickly to get the last train.

I wish I could have gotten more pictures from our evening but I was so hot and worn out I just didn’t have it in me. I had REALLY wanted to get a picture of the four of us and…my brain. So sad.

We left when they did, ubered home, and CRASH. This girl was DONE.

Thursday, May 22

But wait, there’s more! We let ourselves sleep in a bit…but then headed to nearby Seongsu for brunch. I really like this area. It’s sort of Williamsburg/Bushwick, Brooklyn 15ish years ago when they were JUST starting to develop as hip, trendy, artsy areas after decades of being mainly warehouses. Seongsu was like the shoe capital of Seoul, and I believe there’s still a small shoe district somewhere, with handcrafted and custom (is that redundant?) shoe shops. Anyway, it’s close and cute, and even when my phone was plotting to kill me I could see go to Seongsu and know that worse come to worst I COULD walk home (and one time, DID).

We had a nice meal then planned to walk around the area before going to a different part of Seoul for our afternoon’s activities. Katie specifically wanted some “Korean” vintage tee shirts. We headed to the nearest vintage store, less than 400m…and just a few steps in my body was like OH, NO, NOT THIS AGAIN. NOPE. I managed to get myself to the store, and once inside broke into a cold sweat, felt nauseous, and like I was just going to crumble to the floor. There was no chair, so I propped myself up against an out-of-the-way column and tried to stay vertical and stop sweating. Katie was dismayed to discover that most Korean tee shirts have American words and sayings on them, ha ha. I see a lot of American college tees here.

And I had to break the news to her that I needed to go home…we may have to cut our agenda short. She seemed fine, but I felt bad. We’d dropped something from each day she’d been here, both for time reasons, and Mommy’s Tired reasons. We headed home to lie down in the ac (What I Did On My Summer Vacation: I Lay in the AC) until early evening (she ended up napping herself, as she was still adjusting to the time difference), when we got ourselves up to go BACK to Seongsu for dinner at the most magical restaurant.

First off, when you walk through the outer gate, there’s a small black pond surrounded by lush greenery. There’s a little ferry that takes you across the pond to the restaurant (you could walk around the pond, too, but come on). It was Thai-French cuisine, very fancy and pretty. We started with fun cocktails. Mine was like a cotton candy peach highball or something, with a puff of cotton candy on the top, and a separate bottle of some kind of water (tonic? sparkling? I don’t know waters well, I mainly drink from the tap) to pour slowly over the cotton candy so it would melt into the sweet peach liquor in the glass below. In theory this was a magical delight. At my hand it was a big sticky mess, ha ha. I’m the girl that if there’s something sticky within 10′ of me, my hands WILL find it.

(Side Note: In Busan we went on a cruise, I sat down, put my hand on the railing…and was covered with sticky. I always find the sticky.)

For an appetizer we got a tower of sweet and savory, hot and cold delights. My favorite (always) was the bruleed grapefruit with a little sweetened condensed milk poured over. Oh. My. God. As my entree I had noodles in a thick shrimp bisque. Every bite delicious.

The restaurant itself was beautiful, sort of dark and moody, lots of dark wood, but think Thai hut on the beach, not old school American wood panelling, high ceilings with slowly circulating ceiling fans…a pool of blue water in the middle, rattan lanterns giving off warm, glowy light, and a giant Buddha ahead atop the bar area. We both loved the ambience and our food.

We got home just in time to pack, clean up the airbnb and schedule an early morning uber to take us to our Train to Busan.

I will end this here, and save the next few days in Busan for an upcoming Where Bloggers Live: Vacation Edition post in June.

It was good to have Katie here. It was good to have “my people” here. It was good to have someone to talk to (in straight English). It was good to have someone to do things with.

Anyone else wanna come visit??