Life This Week in South Korea: June 3-9, 2024
Monday, June 3
Today was back to the urologist to follow-up on my kidney stone. I’d had the procedure scheduled for the end of February and had to cancel then cuz the insurance hadn’t kicked in yet. And a week later I hurt my knee, so I wasn’t even thinking about kidney stones.
I thought I was going in today to get a scan to see if the stone was even still there – it hasn’t bothered me since early February, so four months. But instead, based on my January scan we scheduled pre-op testing on June 19, and surgery on June 27.
I got out of ONE surgery (knee), just to end up in another. Guh.
There MIGHT be a miracle and when they do the ct-scan on the 19th, it will magically be gone, but…I’m not really counting on that.
He said he’ll have to remove it endoscopically, they can’t do a lithotripsy like I usually have back home. Which means a 3-day stay in the hospital. The interpreter asked if I had a guardian to stay in the hospital with me. That’s how they do it here – you can have one person stay in the hospital with you to help you if you need it. I guess it takes the burden off the nurses. But yeah, I do not have anyone to come STAY with me. I’ll be lucky to get someone to go with me during the admission process just to help me get all sorted out and settled in. So I’ll have to pay extra for a nurse care-giver. I’m a little nervous about being there for three days, given how little useful Korean I can speak.
But at least I have my “hospital kit” all together, as I had just prepared for the knee surgery last month.
Forget “Bettye’s Big Adventure.” I should rename this blog “An Old Person’s Tale of Injury & Woe.” Sigh.
Oh, and remember last week how I had to make a separate trip to another urologist to get a referral to see the hospital urologist? They never even asked for it. Guh.
Tuesday, June 4
Last day of vacation. I always try to do SOMETHING fun on the last day. So I took the bus to nearby Seongsu for lunch, to walk in the park and the shopping streets a bit. It was a nice day. A pretty day.
Got my classroom assignment for class that starts tomorrow. At my request, they were able to put me in the language annex building, which is practically right next to the building where I live! There’s a LITTLE hill to walk up, but since I won’t already be tired by the time I get there, it will be okay. And it looks like less than 10 minute walk, even for slow me.
Having first day anxiety. Finding the new building new classroom, will it have a chair/desk situation that I fit into, how will the teacher and classmates be??
Met with LEP #2. We practiced a little Korean from my tutoring homework but mostly English š
Wednesday, June 5
Early morning tutoring session. Left way too early for class so then just had to stand there next to a desk while I waited for the teacher so I could request a separate chair, ugh.
Surprise, there’s an all new text book. I was JUST getting it altogether with the old one! Guh. This one seems…less structured than the old one and more like…teaching for the exams.
As always, surprised at how much Korean other students already know. I think some of these people are repeat Korean Oners (I recognize them from previous terms), so I get that they already have a lot of language…but the younger students that seem straight out of high school or 1-2 years of university, how do they already know so much? I wonder if Korean is an elective language in their high schools. Anyway. Not as diverse a mix as last term – mostly Mongolian, Nepalese, a couple Chinese, two Japanese, a Vietnamese, a Serbian…and one girl from the US – Wisconsin, but it seems like English is not her first language? Or maybe she’s just super shy…or trying to only speak Korean in the class. Anyway, it seemed like a very quiet group, maybe just first day nerves.
Thursday, June 6
Well. I’m in shock. To keep it as anonymous as possible and still explain how devastated I am…I was EXTREMELY betrayed by a “friend” (now ex-friend), and because of this I may lose another very dear friend.
I’m writing this the day after the bomb dropped on me. Thursday I was just like literally in shock. I knew I was angry and hurt and surprised and shocked….but like I wasn’t really FEELING. After months of crying at EVERYTHING, barely one tear snuck out. At first I thought, ahh, the Wellbutrin has really kicked in. I don’t think I’ve had any personal emotional upheaval since I started taking it in 2019, maybe this is what it does. It makes you not FEEL. I didn’t really like that. I need to cry. I need to feel to process. I literally sat on the edge of the bed, trembling, and stared at the wall for hours. But…
Friday, June 7
After a sleepless night, the feelings started feeling and I was a mess. I don’t think it was the Wellbutrin yesterday, I think it was shock. I got through the morning…and through class…and then just came back here and lay down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling for hours. Until I finally fell asleep. And…
Saturday, June 8
…I allowed myself an Escape from the World day. I didn’t want to have to deal with anyone or anything, so I just stayed in bed…playing conversations over and over in my head. Ah, I DID order a McDonald’s breakfast. The only thing I’d eaten since Thursday morning was half a bagel. I didn’t feel hungry but my stomach was growling like crazy. The breakfast was a good idea. But I just stayed in bed until around 7:30 when I walked to the convenience store to get a cup of ice and a coke. Tried to distract myself with a new k-drama but I kept falling asleep.
Sunday, June 9
Feeling a little more human today but I still opted to just stay in and not face the world. It’s almost 5…I might go for a walk around 7 when it starts to cool down (I did). It’s been in the mid-to-high 80s…and is going up to the 90s this week.
I have reached out to the GOOD friend and they have agreed to meet with me this week to talk. And see. I’m trying to be optimistic…but also worried it won’t be able to be worked out. And I know life isn’t fair, but it is just SO unfair that in this situation that is not of my making, I could well be the loser.
My apologies for the bare bones post. I just don’t have much left in me right now.
Lisa Elliott
OH! I am so sorry!! I hate when things happen among friends. I hope your meeting with the good friend goes well.
bettyewp
Thank you, Lisa. Me, too!
Sheryle Birdsong
Iām sorry to hear about your social situation with friends. It happens sometimes because friends are very special to my well being and I sometimes over share or over exaggerate details when Iām talking with them. Itās a valuable lesson at any time in our livesā I always try to support my side by saying- take me or leave me, I have flaws . But self censoring isnāt a bad thing and some of my thoughts donāt have to be spoken to anyone. Iām sorry itās so shattering- I get wound up in it and spend hours, days, months just berating myself and also justifying myself by thinking the other person is just too sensitive. The person that can make the change in this happening is me. Not being mean to myself but just being truthfulā I could usually change about 80-90% of these instances if I thought about it and inhibited myself some. Hope this helps in some way.
bettyewp
Well, Iām for sure not berating myself. This was out of the blue and is 100% on someone elseās head. Iām trying to put their actions out of my head for nowā¦it remains to be seen how far reaching the ripples will be xoxo
Kelley
So, so sorry about your friends Bettye. Friends can be so hurtful. Iām in a situation as well with a friend Iāve known for over 40 years. Sheās being very hurtful and the only thing I can think of is she might be jealous. And canāt deal with some good things things happening in my life. I also have some terrible things happening so it definitely evens out. Who knows? I know exactly how this feels. It will get better with each day. But itās hard!
Thanks for letting me vent.
bettyewp
This is a venting-approved space š Sorry your friend is being hurtful š We let people into our hearts and expect them to not hurt usā¦itās such a shock when they do xoxo
Jaynn
Without knowing any details, I am just sending a wish for love, hugs, understanding, patience, compassion, and healing. It sounds like you are really crushed right now, please take care of yourself.
bettyewp
Thanks, Jaynn. I certainly donāt feel deserving of what happened (is still happening?). Iām pretty much just laying low this week. I have LEP tonight and o donāt want to bail on that butā¦i wish i could just go home and hide out. Thanks for the good thoughts xoxo
Gabe Pettingill
Hey, I’m new here haha, but Bettye, do you need a friend?? You are a truly wonderful person and if you ever feel like you need a friend, there’s a kid on the other side of the world that absolutely admires you and understands how you feel š
Personally, I don’t think having tenacity means being unafraid when things get tough. Sometimes it means being terrified. And hurt. And not okay.
And that’s okay!
bettyewp
Thanks, Gabe. I can always use friends. And these days most of my friends ARE on the other side of the world!
Penny
OMG Bettye, as if you haven’t got enough contend with. I am so sorry and I get it as I was once betrayed by a friend that I thought was a dear friend. I haven’t forgotten it, but it is well into the past now. But I totally empathise with you. Take care and big hugs
Also I too have had an operation in a foreign country. In Switzerland where I was working as a nurse I fell headfirst down a flight of stone steps and broke my elbow and had to go into hospital and get it sorted. Interesting experience to say the least, but I was young. Sending healing and loving light across the oceans. XXX
bettyewp
If I was a person who believed in “signs,” I would surely have high-tailed it out of Korea by now, because it certainly seems that the universe is not too happy that I’m here. It just feels like it has been One Thing After Another…and the good things are so elusive and fleeting. I’m struggling to stay…I won’t even say positive cuz that seems unrealistic at this moment…but I wish I could at least get to neutral and not be so sad every day.
Yeah, re the hospital, I’m really concerned about the language aspect. I hate not knowing what’s going on or what to expect, that gives me a lot of anxiety…and I REALLY hate the thought of being in any pain or discomfort and not being able to convey that to someone and get help.
I thought June was going to be My Month.
Carol
Bettye, Iām so sorry to hear you have been havin*
a difficult time
bettyewp
Thanks, Carol…I’m still hoping to get this sorted out soon. This week’s meeting was cancelled and I’m not certain when we will be able to talk in person. I’m feeling a little less optimistic this week that things can be resolved in a good way š
Julia
Oh I hope everything works out the way you want it to. You have friends (maybe we are all online) from all over the world and we would love to meet you in person and cheer you up every hill and voraciously read about all of your adventures (whether they are bus, Uber or metro) and wish we could share fried chicken and soggy egg sandwiches with you. Anyone who has had the privilege of meeting you and becoming a friend is a lucky person indeed!
bettyewp
Thank you, Julia. Well, the whole betrayal/heartbreak friend story did not end well. Iām still processing. Iām just very very sad. Have more of an explanation in the upcoming Week in Review post.
Leslie Clingan
I love seeing readers rallying around you like this. Hope you feel loved and treasured across the miles. I think girls/women can be so unkind to one another. Haven’t much time for girl junk myself. Hope you were able to speak to the second person involved in this ‘mess’ and salvage that relationship. Hope the gal from Wisconsin has warmed up and will become someone from ‘home’ you can develop a friendship with. Maybe the whole class was just nervous, as you suggested, the first day of the semester. I go into so many different campuses substitute teaching. Some part of me wishes I could get to know a few teachers at each school but most of the time, I avoid the teachers’ lounge and just stick to myself. Sending you big hugs, my friend. Here’s to a better week. Hope the kidney stone was AWOL in the imaging on the 19th. XO
bettyewp
I’m grateful to you…and to everyone here. I do always feel like y’all have my back.