Monday, Oct 7

Today I did not do A Thing I had planned to do in the morning and I’m very annoyed with myself. THEN I had a “try not to cry” day in class when I TOTALLY did not understand what was going on and the teacher was determined to MAKE me understand but. Nope. I finally just kept saying I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t know.

And TOMORROW is a writing test, which means they’ll give us a choice of three topics and we have to write a composition of at least ten sentences, using at least 6 of the new grammars. AND a “role play,” the thing where in the span of an hour we’re assigned a random partner and topic, we have to write a dialogue about it, then memorize and “perform” it in front of the class. Ugh. UGH.

I’m at that point where it all just feels like TOO MUCH and I don’t know how to get back on track.

I had delivery Subway for dinner and then studied for several hours, but don’t feel any closer to being prepared for tomorrow.

Sigh. Not a good day.

Tuesday, Oct 8

The day started with me really in my head, totally stressed over the things awaiting me at school. I don’t really know how I did on the writing test I felt like I KIND OF had a clue about what I was doing, but…who knows. But the role play went well…the universe was in my court for that one and put me in a team with two of the best students in the class…and I was able to memorize all my lines and didn’t forget anything while “performing,” ha ha. These teachers don’t film everything liked last term’s did – she was so cute.

It was Such a Relief to have that class day over with…I came home and took my laptop to the roof to do some remote work til it got too dark to see the keyboard, then I came back inside and continued to work until I’d finished a project completely. Now I can relax on the remote work til after the midterm is over.

That’s going well – it’s actually kinda fun. I feel like a super-sleuth when I find contact info they didn’t have before. Plus, Having Just One Job is amazing. No interruptions, no phones to answer, no one asking me for 19 other things.

So, I’d had a plan for tomorrow, a long day outside of Seoul. But…now I don’t think I should take the whole day off (oh, it’s Hangul Day, a national holiday), so I’m just going to do something local til lunchtime, then come home and study. Gotta get to bed so I can get up early with the light!

Wednesday, Oct 9

Class. Study. Study. Study

Thursday, Oct 10

Two Main Events today:

Review Test. And thanks to my obsessive almost non-stop studying over the past week(ish), it felt good. I’m sure I made mistakes but there was no question where I was like, oh crap, I don’t know what any of this means. That’s a rare feeling for me in Korean class.

I met my “migook” (American) friends for dinner…our last meeting before they head back to the US on Saturday. We went to a little hole-in-the-wall pajeon (think scallion pancake but more scallion than pancake…and in many varieties) restaurant near me. It’s dark and atmospheric with writing on the walls and guords (gourds?) turned makgeoil ladles hanging on the walls. Shortly before I arrived in Korea last summer I saw an Instagram post about Jungkook from BTS and a few of his friends going there to eat…so it went on my list. I was sad to say goodbye to my friends…but grateful that we finally got to meet…and in Korea of all places! Since Korean and BTS is what brought us together in the first place.

Friday, Oct 11

I have been trying to see pink Muhly grass ever since I came to Korea. It’s a lovely, pink, feather like prairie grass that has been all over IG Korea the past few autumns. Last year She Who Is Now Dead To Me (SWINDTM) and I went to Olympic Park to look for it, as All of Social Media said there was a big field of it there, with pictures to prove it. We walked. And we walked. And we walked. We walked all the live-long day. My hips were about to fall off my body and still we walked. It’s a BIG PARK. It’s the home of the Seoul 1978 Olympics, so you can imagine how big it is. We walked EVERYWHERE. There was no pink Muhly grass.

So I’ve been trying again to track some down…I’ve got a couple day trips planned in the next few weeks that include muhly fields, but…it would be nice to see it locally, too. So I found another park in Seoul that’s supposed to have it. I got up at 6am because when I find it I want to shoot it in the soft morning light. I took two busses and walked and walked…carrying school books (part 2 of the plan) and my camera. Walk walk walk sweat sweat sweat.

The NOT Muhly Grass field.

I found the muhly grass field.

Minus the muhly grass.

DAMN. Apparently it has been deemed an invasive species and a lot of Seoul parks have ripped it out…but no one has updated their websites or social media and there are still many lists on the web like “Where to See Pink Muhly Grass In Seoul this Fall,” but…these lists have not been updated. Mwrrh.

So I sat for an hour and a half on a picnic bench waiting for a Starbucks on the river to open. I worked on vocabulary. When it opened at 9:30 I moved to the Starbucks. It has great river views and will be a good place to go back to in the winter to see the sunset over the river from the comfort of a warm cafe.

Heading home I got on…not exactly a wrong bus, but one that dropped me off further from home than I wanted…so I walked out of my way to another stop that would put me on a bus going closer to home…but THEN I got on the wrong bus…and got taken even further away…then tried to get a bus from there that would put me close to home…but while the bus app SAID that bus would come, it never came home…and finally after walking back and forth…I just walked home. I wasn’t THAT far from home to begin with, but I was already tired and sweaty from walking to and from the park, and all the additional back-and-forths didn’t help…so by the time I finally got home I was just EXHAUSTED. Jumped in a cool shower…and studied til it was time to leave for class for the first day of midterm, the reading section. I was barely able to lug myself up the little (but steep!) hill to the language annex and by the time I got there I was just SHOT. I didn’t even have the energy for exam anxiety.

After doing horribly on the test (have I learned NOTHING this term??) I dragged myself back home and collapsed on the bed til I got hungry, ordered Friday Night Chicken, watched one episode of a really delightful kdrama, and tried to watch a second but kept falling asleep, so finally gave up and was in bed around 9.

Another big Friday night.

PS – I got an 81 on the review test yesterday, which I’m very proud of. But that was only on 3 chapters. The midterm covers 15 chapters, and somehow I feel like I never studied or learned anything from like chapter 3-12. How can that be??

Saturday, Oct 12

Study study study. Took a break to work on a blog post and to read for a bit just so I could get out the %*IBTT$#! chair, but mostly I studied. I’m about to hit the study wall HARD. I’m considering taking the day off after the last midterm day and getting out of Dodge. I leave Korea in less than a year and there are so many things I want to do and I’m running out of time but all I do is study! If it was helping me pass, that’d be one thing, but it’s not. I missed all the fall foliage things last year cuz of SWINDTM, I’m not missing it again! And the foliage season is short and the weekends are crazy crowded everywhere, so it would be nice to have a couple week-days to do things.

I’m rationalizing a) skipping class and b) spending money. I’m good at it, yes?

Sunday, Oct 13

Study study study. I swear my brain is just not firing on all cylinders anymore. I need SO much repetition to remember ANYTHING. And if I don’t just CONSTANTLY review, it’s all gone again the next day. And it’s Too Much to review every day…especially when you keeping learning NEW stuff every day!

Can you tell I’m frustrated??

I gave myself a little break in the afternoon to read while the light was good. I really need to get one of those little clip-on lights for reading, the light is very bad for reading in this room. Not to clip onto the book, but I can clip it to the headboard to point towards the pages…so it needs to be usb chargable. Like everything in my life now is.

Okay, another week down…and allegedly another week ahead. See ya there.