The Coffee Shop I Never Went Into: A Story of Regret
When I thought about coming to Korea, I had this picture in my mind of becoming a “regular” at a local coffee shop. A place I’d stop in a couple times a week, to either sit and chat a bit with the barista, or take a cup to go…a place where I would know them and they would know me. It would be my Cheers.
If you know me in real life, you know how far that is from my actual personality. But…I thought I could be different here. No one would know me from before. I could be whoever I wanted to be.
In reality, it’s not that easy, but that’s an aside.
So when I moved into my room in the goshiwon, and I looked out my big window, there it was. My Cheers!
Just on the little alley-like street behind the building where I live, a very small coffee shop. It had a sign outside with a red panda on it (I adore red pandas). It was a sign. Literally and figuratively.
I must have walked past it well over a hundred times in the almost two years I’ve been here in Seoul. And every time. I thought “should I go in? I can just grab a cup to go,” but…I didn’t.
As much as I wanted to go in, to start my Cheers era…I just couldn’t do it. It was so small. Five tiny tables and a counter. Zero anonymity. Wanting to be anonymous, that’s my personality.
Still, I watched it. A lot.
From my window, I took so many photo and videos of that little café. In the rain, lit by streetlamp glow. In the dark of night, with the warm “Cafe” sign shining like a beacon. In the snow, when everything felt soft and quiet. I guess I was making memories from a distance, just in case.
And every time I looked at it, I thought, “Maybe this week.”
Until I woke up yesterday and looked out my window. And it was GONE. Just gone. Empty. Vacant. Gone.
I’d missed my opportunity. I’d missed my hundreds of opportunities.
And now instead of opportunity I have regret. Regret and unreasonable sadness. For something I could have done…but just…didn’t.
Lesson learned? Maybe (I’m a slow learner). Hopefully.
What’s the lesson? Don’t Wait. That thing you want to do? Do it. Now. Today.
From their Instagram account Jayong Jeil Coffee
Carol Ahuja
This is sad,I’m sorry you missed your opportunity but maybe the idea of it was somehow enough! I know there are so many places I wanted to take my sons when they were growing up but never did. Time really flies and opportunities are missed! Thanks for the reminder!
bettyewp
Yeah, it really made disproportinally sad 🙁 Maybe because I saw it Every Day from my window. I don’t know.
Time does fly. And the older you get, the faster it goes!
Chris Jargowsky
I love this sad but true story. Question is does it change your plans for the weekend or next week?
bettyewp
Hmm? Does it change my plans? OHHH, do you mean is it gonna make me get out of the house and go do something before it’s too late?? ha ha. We shall see. I did leave the building for a bit yesterday (woohoo). Go me.
Kelley
Oh my goodness! It was the cutest little cafe. I’m a slow learner as well. Right there with you. You’ll have another opportunity !
bettyewp
I’m sure I will.
Against my personaliy, being a “regular” somwehere has always been a dream of mine. As far as I can remember the only time that dream ever came true for me was when I lived in Brooklyn and would walk to the corner bodega a couple times a week for coffee and…whatever. And the one guy started calling me “Light & Sweet” cuz that’s how I always wanted my coffee…and maybe also cuz it was a predominantly black neighborhood, so I was “light.” But I liked it.
Bettye
Lisa Elliott
When we first moved to our neighborhood, there was a restaurant within walking distance that we loved. We went often enough that the staff “knew’ our faces. Then that restaurant closed and another one came in . . .and we don’t even like it haha! I’m so sorry that you missed your opportunity. It looked like a really cute shop. I’m a slow learner about some things, too!
bettyewp
Oh, how sad that it left! I wonder (like with “my” cafe) if it moved…or just went out of business.
Mochi
Carpe Diem! It’s so sad when opportunities are missed, but think of all the ones you HAVE seized!!!! More than most mere mortals, I’m sure. Love ya!! PS “Bettye!” ( a la Cheers )
bettyewp
MOCHI!!! Yeah. I’m so weird. One day I’m all carpeing the heck out of diem, and the next I’m like just home in bed in my nightgown all I DON’T WANNA GO OUT THERRRRRRE!
jodie
That’s happened to us many times. Even with products. I will love something and tell myself I’m going to buy it, but I wait until it’s not available anymore. Ugh.
XOXO
Jodie
bettyewp
Oh, the worst is when beloved food products just stop being produced (I’m looking at YOU, original Taco Doritos and Haagen Dazs Chocolate Chocolate Mint ice cream). And you can remember the flavor and you search and search to try and find it again and…..it’s just gone. So Sad.
Nancy
Hi Bettye!
I hope you’re doing well! I always look forward to your posts, and they always bring a smile to my face.
I’m back in Australia to attend to some matters earlier this year. Unfortunately, amid all the sudden packing and rushing I missed my chance to meet you 🙁
I totally relate to this post! I also had the same romantic dream of becoming a regular at my local coffee shop, but I’ve ended up just passing by every time I went out and feeling very intimidated by the open plan, bare of any spaces to hide. I made excuses ‘if only my Korean was better…”, but study still did not ease my insecurities. Now it’s just one of hundreds cafe bookmarked on my Kakao map.
bettyewp
Ha ha, I have a similar situation on my Naver map. It’s like wall to wall stars of places I’ve bookmarked and not gotten to.
Australia?? Is that where you live?
I took a close-up look at “my” coffee shop this afternoon when I was walking past to get dinner…and it looks like a better seating situation than the other place. No opening date yet, but I’M GOING IN THERE, DAMMIT!!!