What to Do When You’re in a Funk

Note: I did not say “how to get OUT of a funk.” I have the utmost respect for The Funk and would never try to hurry one along. It’s there for a reason. You may not even be aware of the reason, but if your head/heart/body/mind says you’re in a funk, just go with it. Enjoy it. Revel in it. If you try to ignore it then you’re not honoring your Self. Honor your Self. Honor the Funk.

I happen to be in a funk myself right now. I’m feeling out of my normal routine, I’m tired, I’m sad. Is there a particular reason? Maybe. Maybe not. Sometimes you don’t know or can’t necessarily change the reason…but you can control how you react to it. Put down that self-help book, skip that yoga class, turn off the meditation app. Just be in the funk. It won’t last forever. If you try and resist you will never get the little escape your body is telling you you need. So have that pity party until you feel ready to shake it off and move on.

And in the meantime, here are some tried-and-true tested (by me!) techniques for getting the maximum enjoyment out of a funk.

• Get into your nightgown/pajamas. There is nothing better than getting home from work and immediately putting on your comfy cozy no-restraint clothes. Once you’re in your sleepwear you know you won’t be going out again so it’s easy to stay home alone and pass on any invitations that might come your way, eg., “Oh, I’d love to but I’ve already taken off my bra so I couldn’t possibly.”
• As indicated above, accept no invitations. Unless someone offers to pick up ice cream and Chinese food and leave it on your doorstep without even knocking, your response to any invitations (if you have even actually answered the phone or text) should be, “I wish I could, but I don’t want to” a la Phoebe Buffet in an early episode of Friends.
• Do not, I repeat, DO NOT wash the dishes or put away the Christmas decorations. They will all still be there on the other side of the funk.
• Get into bed. Is it still light out? Even better. While in bed:
  • Turn out the lights and just lay there in the dark.
  • Listen to a podcast.
  • Read a book (NO SELF-HELP), preferably a sad one.
  • Watch a movie. See above.
  • Nap.
  • Talk to yourself. No one knows and understands your pain better than you.
• Only get up to eat and/or feed animals. Or children. But they really should not be part of any funk plan. If there are children please try to pawn them off for a short while on someone who is not in a funk. You’ll all be better for it.
• Eat super healthy…or super UNhealthy. This is the time for extremes. A giant salad…or a pint of ice cream. With Fritos. And sprinkles. Maybe even a little alcohol.
• Go to sleep early. Sleep as long as you want. If you can manage it, sleep all day. Get lots and lots of sleep.

Follow these steps for a day or two, until you want to stop.  I know I’m done with a funk when I want to get dressed or talk to another human being or go for a walk in actual air. Take it easy on yourself the next day. Funks take a lot out of you. If you did the funk right, by Day Two you’ll be feeling back to normalish and maybe even pretty gosh darn good. Congratulate yourself on a funk well-done and move on with your life.

Note: I am not a mental health professional, this is just how *I* like to handle a funk. Follow my plan at your own risk. It works for me. Your mileage may vary.