Finding Peace
I was feeling very peaceful this day. It was the day I was finally going to get out and away from my home area a little bit. The drive in to Brooklyn was nice. There were only a few other cars out and the roads even felt smoother than usual. I was listening to gentle music from some of my recent favorite dramas.
One part of the drive took me down one of my favorite pieces of road, the Jackie Robinson Parkway. To some people this road is hell, but I always find it so lovely. It’s narrow for a parkway; only two lanes in each direction and it’s winding and both sides are dense with trees in cemeteries and golf courses so you feel like you’re driving through a big park. The foliage is just starting to change to olive greens, yellows, and hints of orange.
I planned to go to Bushwick to my favorite donut shop and take pictures there in the street art section but driving down Jackie Robinson I was reminded of the park where I used to bring Caleb when we lived here and I thought that would be a nicer spot with the foliage looking so beautiful. It was a little sad going there because all my memories of that park are with Caleb and I haven’t been there since I used to go with him.
Typically this park would be very empty. It was always sort of neglected, which made it perfect for me to bring the dog here because no one was taking the time and trouble to kick me and my boy out. I called it Rape Park back then because it seemed like the perfect setting for such things.
But today, because it was such a lovely warm day, the parking lot was about half full. There were people with dogs, people jogging, families picnicking. I was reminded of the car detailers that would come here to work on clients’ cars and I sat and watched two gentlemen scrub and shine up some wheel rims and chrome fenders. It was very relaxing to watch them.
I watched a man throw a stick for his something-doodle into a ravine about 50 times and the dog’s boundless energy and joy was a pleasure to watch.
Only a few people walked past where I was shooting which is so nice when I’m using the tripod. I was able to take my time and experiment a little bit, whereas usually I’m feeling sort of rushed and on display so I hurry through and am often not entirely pleased with the results.
I was reminded of how much I enjoyed living here. That realization is always in my mind somewhere, but…it gets buried under other things because life is what it is and I just can’t live there right now. I was alone here; I really didn’t make friends here other than acquaintances in the same building, and over the three years only one or two friends came in to visit me here. So I mostly did things by myself.
When I got home from work I would change my clothes, grab a snack, grab the dog and off we’d go. We’d come to the park or drive to a more populated area and get ice cream or a coffee and sit on a bench where I could be around people without really being with people. Sometimes someone would stop to pet the dog and we would have a brief conversation and then they would be on their way. And that was just the right amount for me. I loved exploring here. Every place was exciting and interesting and new.
Even on this day, before I came to the park, I drove around a sort of gritty area, where the trains come and there’s lots of construction going on and empty lots. The kind of area I think most people would call sketchy and leave as quickly as they could, but I enjoy just driving around, looking at the sights that are different than my normal ones. Watching the people who are living different lives than I am. Wondering what brings them peace. Wondering if they even have peace.
I hope they do.
WHAT I’M WEARING
- BP/Nordstrom Easy Ribbed Sweater, Color: Beige Oatmeal Light Heather, Size 3X
- Camel cardigan from Old Navy, size 2x. Comparable here and here.
- Black Charlotte Russe Refuge skinny jeans, 22 short
- Black Betunia Aerosoles loafers
- Target sunglasses
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Tina von Tinaspinkfriday
Bettye such a nice post! I enjoyed watching your stunning pictures you done by yourself! ❤️ Such a great autumn coloured location. You look amazing. Cardigans are always great. right?!
xoxo Tina
bettyewp
Thanks, Tina! Oh, I do love a cardigan!
joan
Hi, this outfit looks great. I just ordered the oatmeal ribbed sweater. You made me do it.
bettyewp
Ha, yay! I hope you love it! Every time I wear it I wanna say I LOVE THIS TOP SO MUCH, YOU GUYS but that seems obnoxious 🙂 It’s been so long since I’ve had a CREAM top and I’m finding it SO versatile, especially in fall! Let me know how you like it.
julia
Aaaaah, deep breath in, aaaaaaah, deep breath out. That was a very peacefully written post Bettye. I’m the same as you, I like to see different sites that what I usually see. I like seeing warehouse districts and industrial areas too, not just historic churches and picket fence houses. Caleb was such a good friend. He kept you company with just the right amount of conversation.
bettyewp
I really miss my companion. Not only was he good company (and protection to walk alone in desolate woods!), he motivated me to get out somewhere almost every day. I felt HE needed to leave the property every day, so WE left the property every day. Now it’s so easy to stay in my house for days at a time. And while I do love that (a little too much), I know it’s good for me to get out, too.
Janey’s sweet but she’s not making me go out in the world. She’s more like “MEOWNOOOOO STAY HERE WITH ME WE’LL CUDDLE AND SNUGGLE AND SLEEEEP,” which is pretty inviting.
HelenG
I just found your blog and I love it. I love your pictures and your writing style. Your blog has really brightened my day.
bettyewp
Welcome, Helen! What a nice thing to say (and to hear!), that the blog brightened your day. That means a lot to me, seriously. How did you find us here??
Bettye
Karen Anderson
I’m doing some catching up on the very few blogs I follow, and I loved this post. I could relate to so much of what you said, about the alone times, being around people without being with people, enjoying time with your dog…the scenery, the feel of the parkway…I felt like I was there and really enjoyed it. I am an introvert (and a loner….sounds negative but I’ve never regarded it that way), and can easily amuse myself just watching life happen. The colors here and words really resonated with me.
bettyewp
Loner is my comfort zone, for sure. Not negative to me. I’m the most fun person for me to hang out with! I’m never boring. I always want to do what I want to do. How could any of that be negative??
And the whole “being around people without being WITH people,” was my whole jam while living in Brooklyn. There were ALWAYS people. 24 hours a day, 24/7. I could watch them, hear them, and choose whether or not to engage with them. It was perfect. I never felt “alone” cuz I was always surrounded by people. But I was (almost) always alone.
Have you seen those clear plastic bubble igloo things bars and restaurants have been using for a few years, so people can still have a view/outdoor experience even while protected from the elements while inside the bubble? That’s how I feel “alone with people.” I’m safely ensconced in the bubble, alone, but I can see and hear everything that’s going on around me.
Watching life is the best. You ever come to NY? We’ll find a couple adirondack chairs and just watch the world go by. That’s my favorite.
Leslie Susan Clingan
What a beautiful post. Love the photos. Your outfit is fall perfection. And you look peaceful and happy in your old stomping grounds. Bittersweet that you are reminded of days when you were there with Caleb.
I find it amazing that you are driving into Brooklyn and passing by such rural-looking spaces as this park. The best of both worlds. Rural and urban.
For our wellness weekend series this weekend, our optional theme was peace. Would love to have you link up this post and inspire others with your thoughts and photos.
bettyewp
Believe it or not, trees DO grow in Brooklyn 🙂 The city and outlying boroughs have made great efforts in the past (gosh I was going to say “few,” but I guess it’s more like FIFTY (since the 70s)) 50 years to create and maintain greenspaces. It’s nice.
Will look for the linkup you mentioned…thanks 🙂
Natalie
Thank you, Bettye, for joining us on Wellness Weekend (WW). I enjoyed reading your post and how you find peace. Beautiful photos, too. Our next link up and the last for 2020 is on December 20. The optional prompt is Wrap-Up. Hope to see you then. #WW2020
bettyewp
Wrap-up! Oh, I like the sound of that, will put it on the calendar!
Christine Jargowsky
Love your sweater and your beautiful soul. Your photos are as always absolutely stunning.
bettyewp
Aww, thanks Favorite Sister-in-Law (don’t tell the other ones I said that)!!! 🙂