The Life-Changing Magic of Normalizing Your Appearance
Are you super critical of how you look in photos? Do you avoid having your picture taken at all costs? You are not alone. However, I’d like you to consider something: it may be more than just thinking you look old, fat, unattractive, etc. It may that you’re just not used to seeing yourself in photographs.
Seeing yourself in a mirror is very different than seeing yourself in a still photograph. A mirror is more “alive.” It reflects your movements, your changing expression. So even if one zillionth of a second of the image is not great, it changes immediately. A still photo freezes the movement, your expression, the way the light hits your face, the way shadows hover underneath body bulges. I get it. An unflattering picture bears witness to the fact that you are not a supermodel.
But – it is still a representation of you, for better or worse. It’s YOU. Unless you’re living under a rock, you and your image will be moving in and out of public view for most of your life. People are going to see you. They’re going to see you on bad hair days, when your chin is breaking out, when you’re stuck under hideous overhead fluorescent lighting. You can’t hide just by refusing to ever be in a picture (well, you can, but do you want to live that way?).
So, since being seen and being in photographs are normal parts of life, what can you do to help yourself feel better about it?
You can normalize seeing yourself – what you look like – in photos by…BEING IN MORE PHOTOS. If you don’t like yourself in pictures, you probably avoid having your picture taken. If you avoid having your picture taken, how often are you seeing yourself in photos? Probably not often. If you don’t see yourself in photos often, it’s possibly always a surprise to you how you look.
In my time as a photographer, I have heard this SO many times, “Is THAT what I really LOOK like? Yuck!” But it’s not that you’re “yuck.” You’re just not used to seeing yourself.
So, my challenge to you is to SEE YOURSELF. Get in the picture. Do the selfie. Do ALL the selfies. Take a photo of yourself Every Day. Look at them. Every day. Until you stop only seeing what it is you don’t like. Keep looking until you find something you like. The smile that makes you look genuinely happy. Your bangs at the perfect length. The best cat-eye you’ve ever done. Whatever it is, focus on that. Keep doing it. Do it for 30 days. I can almost guarantee that at the end of the month you will feel more positively about your appearance in photos than you did at the beginning.
You’ll be used to what you look like, rather than being surprised. You’ll be able to see and appreciate the good.
And that, my friend, is the goal. Let’s appreciate ourselves and our appearance. We each have a unique and beautiful appearance. Let’s CELEBRATE that!
If you do the 30-day Challenge, let me know how it goes!
WHAT I’M WEARING
Striped Tee: Old Navy, 3x
White Tee: H&M, 3x
Plaid Buttondown: Sanctuary, 3x. Straight sizes here, comparable in plus sizes here.
Jeans: Gloria Vanderbilt Amanda, Scottsdale wash, 20 short
Denim Jacket: White Mark, 3x
Sneakers: Black Converse Shoreline slip-ons
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Chris Jargowsky
So true and absolutely love this.
Sally in St Paul
I started taking (almost) daily full length outfit photos on Jan 1, and it’s been interesting to see my expression move from “deer in headlights” to something more natural-looking over time. My biggest surprise so far is that I like my fat-and-muscular legs in skinny jeans/pants, which is something that I “shouldn’t” wear. I look strong and grounded!
julia
Yes! Great psychology! I haven’t seen myself in photos recently and when I do I think “ugh!” but last year I didn’t feel that way. I’d say that’s a good look for me or my hair is behaving today or I look friendly today. It’s too bad our default is to criticize ourselves rather than be kind to ourselves. So much unlearning to do…… You look fabulous btw!
jodie filogomo
I say this a lot, just to see what our outfits really look like. I actually did some research once about why we look different in the mirror vs photos. And really it has something to do with how our brain perceives our image in the mirror. It was way over my head, but very interesting!!!
XOOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Iris
Good advice. I hate seeing myself in photos, always did. And I’m the “do I really look like that?” person. I’ll try better.
Grace & Peace, Iris
http://www.IrisOriginalsRamblings.com
bettyewp
I just think that line of “do I really look like that” thinking is a negative thing we do to ourselves…and it seeps into other areas of who we are, not just our appearance.
Em
I absolutely did NOT take you out of the WBL post because I know that whoever clicks the link will find some treasure on the end when they get here. I was not wrong!
THANK YOU for this post. I am rarely in pictures because of exactly everything you wrote about. I rarely see a photo of myself that I don’t find disappointing…until I come across it a year or so later. I am trying to be better about it but I was so shocked to find that I am not actually Cindy Crawford, Bahaha. Sad but so. What an affront to my Maker that I am rejecting how He made me, and not celebrating that all my parts are working (although in a non-Cindy Crawford way). I bought one of the clicker set ups you suggested a while back, and while not committing to 30 days, I WILL endeavor to be better about this! You are wise, lovely and wonderful!
Deborah Stinedurf
I cannot tell you how much I love every single thing about this post! The photos are absolute gorgeousness. And the words? Omg my friend, you absolutely nailed it. We all need to work harder at appreciating our natural inherent beauty & learning to love (or at least not cringe) ourselves in photos is an excellent way to practice it. Again…these photos…big love for ’em!
Debbie
http://www.yourstyledstory.com
Sarah
I know you’re right about this and one day I hope
I have the courage to do it!
bettyewp
You have the courage. You do. You just have to do it.