I have gone through so many phases of looks throughout my lifetime – some conscious and others that just sort of happened due to laziness, situation, or financial reasons:

High School Horse Girl: Perpetually in corduroy jeans with docksiders and crewnecks over “popped-collar” polo shirts, and in warm weather, random tee shirts.

Mature College Student (age 20-22): When I went back to college after a few years off in my early 20s I felt sooo much older than the 18-year-olds I shared classes with. I wore mostly granny/gunne sax/prairie dresses with boots or low-heeled pumps.

Riding Instructor (age 23-30): Boots and breeches every day with my same “horse girl” types of tops.

New (and old) Mother (age 31-37): sweatpants, stretchy pants, stirrup pants, oversized flannel shirts and sweatshirts – it was not my finest fashion moment.

Newly Divorced/Newly in the Actual Workforce (age 37-44): I finally got it together a little bit and started trying to build a “wardrobe,” not just a closetful of random, unrelated pieces. Trousers with oxfords or flats, blouses or pullover sweaters, “officey” dresses w flats or knee-high boots.

Unemployed/Ebay seller (age 44-46): I sold most of my nice office clothes and started picking up random pieces of clothing from the thrift shops while shopping for my vintage store on ebay. I had a LOT of clothes, they were all cheap, but there was no rhyme or reason to how or why I bought something. Wait, that’s not true. If it FIT and was cheap, I bought it.

Back in the Workforce on Extremely Limited Budget (age 47-55): Because I was SO in debt after two years of unemployment, I had to be really careful how I spent my money. And this is when I really learned about choosing items that could work in multiple outfits to get the most bang for my buck. But I still didn’t really have a STYLE. Some days I was “office casual,” some days I was boho hippie, some days I wore jeans and sneakers. On weekends I wore clothes that were no longer suitable for office wear because they were faded or stained or torn.

Then (age 55-present) I discovered Gwynnie Bee and started the blog and started reading blogs. I saw a LOT of different looks and styles and I started trying to really build a compact yet functional wardrobe with an overall distinctive “look.” I was still making mistakes because I would fall in love with individual pieces and then try to work them into outfits…rather than seeing or visualizing an outfit and then finding the pieces to make it work. Which is what I have finally learned is The Key – at least for me.

Through all my different style eras, the one I always felt the most comfortable, the most “me” in, was really a throwback to both the horsey high school days and the riding instructor days. What they had in common was very tailored, classic style, not overly “girly,” not especially colorful. Today that look could be called normcore or androgynous. A style that’s not really “a style” at all.

So I have been working the past few years on attaining that “non-style” style. I’m definitely narrowing in on it in my wardrobe…and this one particular day I think I really nailed it.

This outfit is nothing special, really. There are no trendy details or flashy cuts or colors. It’s very neutral and simple. Yet I feel very “finished” in it. Mature but youthful, simple but not boring, comfortable but not sloppy. I feel like I could wear this just about anywhere and feel appropriately dressed.

I felt RIGHT in it. I felt like ME. And that’s a good way to feel.

About the Outfit:

  • Cream American Eagle Shaker Knit Mockneck Sweater, size XXL. Doesn’t get much more basic than this. The shaker knit is a little throwback to the 80s and the cream color will go with almost everything in my autumn/winter closet.
  • Black Charlotte Russe Refugee Skinny Jeans, size 24 short. These are no longer available, but these Universal Standard Skinny Jeans look like a good comparable alternative for us short girls (I’m 5’3″ and even when jeans are touted as “cropped” or “ankle length” they are still down to my shoes or longer) as at a 27″ inseam they look almost like capris on the 5’10” model, so they might fit someone of my height at right around the ankle bone. Universal Standard has a great policy on their “core” items (of which these jeans are one), where for one year you can exchange your item for the same item in a different size at no charge. So if you’re pregnant, post-pregnancy or losing or gaining weight, you don’t have to feel like you’re wasting money on something that may not fit in a few months. This is the “Fit Liberty” program if you want to check it out.
  • J Crew Daphne Boiled Wool Topcoat in Camel, size 22. THIS is the item that I think really put this outfit over the top for me. I never really thought of coats as part of my wardrobe. I usually only ever have one coat for years and years. And I’d wear it over everything so I never considered it as far as the outfit went. But from watching vloggers (whose style I love) like Lizzy Hadfield of Shot from the Street and Emma Hill, it has gradually come to rest in my brain that “outerwear” can be part of an outfit. I feel like “duh” to even say that out loud (type it, you know what I mean). It’s the wintertime “third piece” that is so elemental to a styled outfit. I’m reminded of when I was married and we were looking for a new car and the ex was annoyed with me because I wanted the car color to coordinate with the color of the house. He thought that was over the top, but it made perfect sense to me. I’d gone to the trouble to plan a color scheme for the house – paint color, roof color, trim, garden, etc., so why wouldn’t I also coordinate a large item that’s going to be sitting next to or in front of the house for probably 12-16 hours a day? I wouldn’t want a lime green car in front of my “concrete grey” house! What am I, a heathen?? Anyway, my coat-as-part-of-my-outfit is sort of like that. SO, the addition of this coat, neat and trim and neutral, made me feel very…”finished.”
  • Leopard Aerosoles Betunia Smoking Flats At the expense of making this already-long post even longer, I’ll tell the leopard flat story now. I’ve wanted leopard flats for a long time. I knew they’d be a useful addition to my wardrobe with the range of colors in the print. I’ve been looking for Just The Right Ones since LAST summer. Every pair I saw was too round-toed or came up too high on the foot or had a little heel or the spots were too big or too small, the colors were not right (leopard comes in a vast range of tones, even in the “natural” (not purple or pink or grey, etc) color range). I wanted a warm background to go with the camel coat I was looking for. I wanted the “spots” to be two-toned of brown and black. Some backgrounds are sort of a palomino yellow or beige. Some of the spots are just brown. A leopard print is not a leopard print is not leopard print. They are all entirely different animals. I had a very specific color pattern in mind (shocking, I know). There was one shoe I kept coming back to – the Aerosole flats, but they were always out of my size and they never seemed to be restocked. So after finally giving up on ever finding them in my size and after looking and trying and buying and returning so many other shoes, I finally broke down and bought the inexpensive Target leopard flats that were a good color and pattern and were the same shape and style as my chestnut loafers that I love. When they came I was not surprised that were as uncushiony as all Target shoes feel to me. I suppose for someone with no foot problems they might be fine. But my feet have just been feeling better over the past few months, I don’t want to re-injure my heels my wearing such unsupportive shoes. BUT, they were fine for an interim shoe – I could wear them to work and for photo shoots…but I wouldn’t wear them when I knew I was going to be on my feet a lot or doing a lot of walking. I wore them one day to work, they were alright, and I was so happy to have a leopard flat that went so nicely with my outfit (as I knew it would!). I got home THAT afternoon and what ad popped up on the side of my browser screen? The Aerosole flats…I took a look and…MY SIZE WAS IN STOCK. Of course they were in stock now as I had just worn the Target ones all day! Mwrrh. But I just felt the Aerosole ones would fit and feel so much better and be so much better for my feet…that I ordered them, TOO. So now I am the owner of two almost identical looking pairs of leopard flats. The Aerosole ones are So Comfortable. I’ve already worn them half a dozen times, and even when I’ve done quite a bit of walking around. And NOW, seeing them with the camel coat, I see that they are not the right tone at all for the coat! The camel of the coat is pale and sort of greyed down “cool” camel. So…don’t be surprised to see me eventually with a third pair of leopard flats! Ha.
  • The scarf was thrifted several years ago. And I will not, in the future, wear that scarf with the Aerosole flats – again, the tones are not good together – the scarf is cool and the shoes are warm.

WOW this was long. Ha. Sorry about that~ but to condense “how to find your style” into usable actions:

  1. Try lots of different styles, see what you feel good in. Rental services and thrift stores are great for trying out different types of looks.
  2. Really pay attention to what you’re most drawn to; there’s no such things as just “a basic white shirt.” Each type of clothing item has SO many distinguishing elements: cut, line, details, color, tone, size, shape. Something as simple as a white tee shirt can have SO many different types and styles. Experiment and find what you are most comfortable with; what relates best to the other items you’ll be wearing it with.
  3. Consider each item in relation to the other items already in your wardrobe, don’t just buy single items “because you like them.” You can like something without having to own it. The wardrobe as a whole is more important than each individual piece.
  4. Never stop trying to get it right!
  5. And once you do get it right – For You – allow your style to continue to evolve over time, just as you yourself do.

Hope this helps you. Like everything in life, it’s an ongoing learning process, but it’s so nice to have an occasional By George, I Think I’ve Got It moment!

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Photos taken by my darling daughter.