Just when I thought I was out…they pull me back in.

Nordstrom. Trunk Club. Every time I get a box…and send it all back…I think NO MORE. This is a waste of my time, their time, natural resources, etc. But then a month, 6 weeks later I get a pretty email with pretty pictures of pretty clothes…and my defenses go down and I click “oh alright, send another trunk.”

Humans are so weak.

And by humans I mean me.

So, my most recent trunk arrived the day before I was leaving for my trip to Florida (#perfecttimingamiright) and since I had nothing ELSE to do that evening, I tried on, photographed, and videoed these 6 or 7 items.

I have to say, I was hopeful when I opened the box and saw what they had sent. It seemed the stylist finally really HEARD me…lightweight summer pants and man-tailored short-sleeved button-down shirts.

So IN THEORY it was a good selection. But not in fit. sadly. Unsurprisingly.

How many more men’s shirts do you think I’ll buy and return before I just say uncle and admit THEY DO NOT FIT ME?!?

Probably a lot. I’m a slow learner.

But let me share what came this time…

MICHAEL KORS METALLIC STRIPE TIE SLEEVE BLOUSE, 3x

Ha ha, forgive the wacky pictures, I was trying to get through all this so I could get to packing!

This shirt was…FINE. It was sort of a lightweight floaty cotton…the word “puffy” comes to mind. And I prefer drapey to puffy fluffy aways. The fit was fine. It hung away from my body, not landing on hip or tummy bumps, which I like. Those tie sleeves are cute. They’re just not for me. Too futzy and “crap, they fell in my soup”ish.

It went back.

OPEN EDIT WIDE LEG PANTS, Size 2x

 

These were interesting. I like a wide-legged pant in theory. But these (like the other ones) required two things that put me on the “don’t keep” side of the fence: so long they would have required altering (read: $$) and wide-legged appropriate shoes…and that is something I always struggle with. I feel like a chunky sneaker or some sort of platform or wedge. A shoe that sort of lifts your whole foot up off the ground, not just the heel, if that makes sense.

I HAVE SO MANY RULES (“they’re really more like guidelines,” he said).

Anyway, they went back.

TREASURE & BOND PULL-ON WIDE LEG PANTS, size 3x

Two weeks later I’m kinda wishing I had kept these swooshy pants. But they had the same alteration and shoe issues of the tan pants. So…they would have just hung in my closet. Or worse, disappeared into a pile somewhere.

But I’m TRYING. I’m trying to get out of the jeans box but it is hard with my body.

Do you try to try different things??

EILEEN FISHER CREWNECK JERSEY TOP, size 3

This was the Queen Bee of the trunk. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the rich pea green COLOR (#kimtaehyungismyfashionrolemodel) and the slinky drapey fabric SO MUCH YUMMINESS. I feel like this color goes with EV ERR EE THING. At least in MY closet. This would have been a great top to keep for my spring/summer/fall wardrobe.

BUT (there it is). It was NINETY-EIGHT DOLLARS. And not that I don’t spend some $$ on things, but this is essentially a tee shirt. I just couldn’t do it. I wish I had it. But I was leaving the next day for Florida and I knew I was going to spend money there, so…SOMETIMES I pretend to be a responsible adult.

But I dream of that beautiful color. And it’s in my Shoptagr so I’ll be notified if it goes on sale.

Sigh. I love you, green shirt.

MADEWELL TICKING STRIPE INDIGO EASY CARE SHIRT, size XXL

First, it’s a men’s shirt…with all the accompanying fit issues. Broad shoulders and chest, big sleeves, slim hips.

But REALLY first, let’s admire the combination of the chambrayish blue with that pea green. I. CAN’T EVEN.

These are the color combinations I live for.

But not this shirt. NEXT!

BP WILDFANG RELAXED SHORT SLEEVE BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT, size 3x

Ha ha ha. Things are going from bad to worse. There are matching pants.

SCOTCH & SODA RELAXED FIT COTTON BLEND BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT, size XXL

Another men’s shirt. Made out of what looks like burlap. I was not a fan even if it did fit.

But are you noticing how EVERY shirt looks good with the green shirt underneath??

BP MEN’S CAMP UTILITY BUTTON-UP SHIRT, size XXL

I like it in theory. I love a camp shirt. It’s rayon/cotton blend but a thick one so it felt more like denim. The fit was not the WORST, but it was not doing me any favors.

YOUR CLOTHES MUST DO YOU FAVORS

So. It all went back. But I will buy that green shirt if it goes on sale and wear it every day until I die.

Here’s a 14-minute video of the joys of trying on clothes that don’t fit. Because we have to find the joys where we can.

And that’s it, my friends!

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