I’m still in lovely SoCal…

MONDAY, 3.7.22

After a couple of run-around days, this was a quieter, at-home day. My cousin had errands to run to get ready for Monday Night Family Dinner: Mardi Gras Edition, and I stayed home and did some TEFL work and got myself ready for the Bangtan Academy tour and orientation.  Which of course was scheduled for right at dinnertime and this was the last one so I couldn’t miss it…so I missed dinner and visiting with other cousins, boo. I was done like 10 minutes before people started leaving…and I felt really bad for being there but not BEING there, and it’s unfortunate that the orientation fell to THIS weekend, but…it is what it is.

That said, the orientation was no less confusing than every other Discord thing…or BTS thing, for that matter. Guh. The only thing that quelled my anxiety slightly was that many other people seemed to be struggling as much as I was. It’s VERY confusing. It’s SO LARGE, a million different THINGS and everything has like cute BTS nicknames…which is harder to understand than if things were just called “Beginner Class,” etc. But I get it, they want it to be fun and on theme.

I’ll get it. At least, I’ll figure out what I NEED to do. I guess. I hope. Ha ha. I decided to start slow just with a “club,” which is more of a self-study course you do at your own pace…and I’m starting all the way back at the beginning cuz I’ve studied in fits and starts since last May, with several different teachers, classes, and apps. Everyone has slightly different ways of teaching, emphasizing this over that, etc. So while I’ve learned a lot of vocabulary and some phrases, when it comes to sentence structure and UNDERSTANDING spoken Korean, I’m lost. Seems safest to start at the beginner level, even though I tested in at 1A (which is just above beginner, but that was mostly just luck).

I will say there are a TON of resources. It’s really incredible what they’ve built in just a few years. And the…moderators (I’m sure they have a cuter name than that) are very well-informed and VERY patient….even when SOME PEOPLE ask THE SAME QUESTION OVER AND OVER AGAIN and don’t understand the answer…or how to see the answer, or how to turn the volume on, or how to be in the right room. I mean, I would imagine that could happen to someone. And the mods would be super patient.

After everyone left we watched a couple episodes of “Love is Blind: Japan” until I was struggling to stay awake. I’m not much of one for reality dating shows, but it was kind of interesting. I understand there’s an American one, has anyone watched it?

TUESDAY, 3.8.22

Today was a DAY. Slept in just a little bit, and then we headed to the Korean Spa. I’m not going to go into a whole lot of depth here because I’m going to write a separate post on it cuz WHOA. Let’s just say IT WAS AN EXPERIENCE. My cousin has been great about planning different Korean/Asian activities for us. It’s so nice to have someone like…cater to that interest? If that’s the right word. She’s super excited for me about my plans to study there.

Anyway, we were there most of the day, soaking and scrubbing (details soon). Afterwards we got a yummy shaved ice with fruit, mochi and red bean (like the sweet red bean, not like kidney beans!) and went up to the roof to eat.

Later, my other cousin (museum cousin from Saturday) came to get me and we went out to dinner. There were no paper towels on the table, but the food was good 🙂 And we polished off a bottle of wine. Oofah. I have not drunk in a while and I got WOOZY. Had to ride all the way home with my eyes closed.

It’s been so nice to eat out so much. I’ve always loved eating out, but that has all but stopped in my usual life. My favorite thing is going to new places and trying new things. Of course, I have favorite places but given the choice, I’d almost always choose to go someplace I’ve never been.

WEDNESDAY, 3.9.22

Spent the afternoon with my aunt. We went to lunch at The Ivy, a really charming hot spot in Los Angeles. I think it used to be common to see celebrities there, but…we saw no one fancy 🙂 It’s okay. I really wanted to grill my aunt about my mother, ha ha.

OH! I forgot to tell you The Most Important Thing from Sunday night dinner! I’m sure I’ve told you guys the story about how I USED to be part Cherokee Indian, but sometime in my 40s (I think) my aunt informed us that that Was Just Not True. We were all like HUH?? What do you mean it’s not true?! All my life I’d been told I was 1/16 Cherokee Indian, because of Great Great Great Grandma Mudd with her long black braids and corncob pipe! I felt like I’d just found out I’d been adopted! Like a big part of my identity was stripped away. With a name like Rainwater, I was ALWAYS being asked if I was part Indian, and I could tell them that yes, yes I was, GGG Grandma Mudd, yadda yadda yadda. But for the past 15ish years I’ve had to say, “well, I USED to be,” and tell the part about my aunt killing the dream 🙁

BUT NOW! A family member just had a DNA test and discovered that we ARE part Cherokee, but not because of GGG Grandma Mudd, because of my grandfather’s mother (grandmother? now I forget) (I can’t retain ANYTHING these days!). So I am either 1/16 (once again) or 1/32 if it’s my great great grandmother. Apparently, everyone was told this story EXCEPT my aunt (we don’t know that was…), which is why she, being the last one standing, and not knowing any of this, told us it was not true.

PHEW! The ironic part is that people are always asking if I’m Indian because of my name – Rainwater. But that’s my FATHER’S name…and the Indian blood is on my mother’s side. If my name was not Rainwater, and people had not been asking me All My Life about it, it may not have felt like such a big part of my identity. I mean, I’m other things, too: English, German, Irish, Scottish, etc…but they just don’t seem as predominant cuz I never talk about them.

Anyway, she had a bunch of answers to my questions about my mother and father and timelines I was never quite sure of. I need to write it all down, I know I’ve already forgotten some of it!

She also gave me a ring that my father had given my mother back in the day. I have no memory of it but I’m so happy to have it.

After she died, I used to wear her wedding band every day. One time I took it off at a hot yoga class and when I got home later that evening it was not in my bag. I called the studio, they checked the locker area and parking lot…but it was never seen again and I’ve always been sad about that. I don’t think I even have a picture of it 🙁  So I’m grateful to have this one.

We had other plans for that afternoon, the big Japanese dollar store and Asian market, but there were so many accidents that traffic pushed us way back…so we opted to let those plans go and just get a quick dinner and me to the airport to head home 🙁

I was sad to leave. It’s never enough time. And it’s just so nice to be at a nice house with nice people and different things going on…and have someone take care of me a little bit.

That sounds so babyish but…I’ve been on my own for So Long…and I do EVERYTHING myself. It was just so nice to have someone make me breakfast, save me coffee, cover me with a blanket when I took a nap. And to have “my people” to talk to.

But for now I have to return to real life.

THURSDAY, 3.10.22

And real life started with a bang. After the red-eye flight and lugging myself back to the long-term parking, I found myself with a flatter than flat tire.

Of course.

I drove on the rim to two different gas stations to find a working air thingie…then drove home slowly and carefully in case it went flat again on the parkway coming home.

Got an egg sandwich, then moved to the sofa for the remainder of the day and evening…getting in bed before 8.

FRIDAY, 3.11.22

Uhm. Uh. Did I do anything? I don’t think I left the apartment but I don’t think I DID anything. I didn’t even unpack. I just barely got my suitcase far enough in the doorway to close the door…and it has sat there since Thursday.

SATURDAY, 3.12.22

Did I do anything THIS day? Oh. Another Bangtan Academy thingie, a Q&A for if you still had questions after the tour.

I did. It’s still confusing, but maybe getting a little less so.

And oh. So much for starting slow with a self-study course. No, I joined a class that starts this week, has two mandatory classes and homeworks a week, and runs for 5 weeks.

There is something WRONG with me. Something very very WRONG with me. (name that movie reference – I used a tad of poetic license but).

Anyway, yeah. I’ll just cram that in in-between All The Other Things. The TEFL and ebaying and getting rid of stuff and blogging and TikToking…and I’m trying to get my ish together on Instagram once and for all.

Oh. Cuz I can’t stop myself, look at THIS place. It’s $650 US, 6.5 miles from the school. Are you KIDDING ME?? You know I LIVE for windows and light and air and view. This would be over $3,000 in NYC.

SUNDAY, 3.13.22

Today I left the building.

It wasn’t easy.

After spending a week in Pretty California, it’s hard to come back here. My friends know I have a love-hate relationship with Long Island. But especially in winter after a week someplace where everything is so PRETTY, everything here is just dim and dingy. It’s hard to work up any sort of enthusiasm for going Out THERE. It’s cold and ugly. I even skipped a BTS thing last night! Cuz it was WINDY. And dark. And cold.

And tomorrow it’s back to work. And REAL real life.

The End.

WHAT I’M READING

Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. Incidentally, Murakami also wrote the short story that Drive My Car (movie I saw last week in CA, that is nominated for Best Picture at the upcoming Academy Awards) was based on.

I liked it. It felt loosely like the Japanese “Catcher in the Rye” – which I did NOT especially like. Quiet stories, depression, a main character who reminded me very much of my first love – smart, kind, accepting, maybe a little too serious and philosophical for the world…and obsessed with The Girl. I’ll give it 4/5 and two thumbs up. Would recommend.

I know it was made into a movie but I don’t feel very optimistic about that.

Real The End.