Sometimes it takes just one single event to change your life, or your outlook on life. For me it was a (what seemed silly at the time) photo project last fall that I called “30 Days of No Repeat Outfits.” It was a personal challenge to really use all the clothes in my closet* and see how many different outfits I could come up with. I’d gotten lazy and had 3-4 favorite outfits that were easy and comfy and I just kept cycling through them. Who cared what I looked like?? I felt like I couldn’t really look good no matter *what* I did, so why make any effort at all??
Part of the project involved photographing all the outfits. Photographing ME. Me, who had managed to avoid being in pictures for a long time because it was such a shock to see myself as the world sees me – FAT. But during the project I was having to look at myself in photographs Every. Single. Day. At first it was brutal. But slowly, I got more used to seeing myself – to seeing what I really looked like. And by the end of the 30 days, I was actually looking at pictures and thinking, “hey, I look kinda cute today!” I was finally not just seeing FAT. I was seeing ME. And Fat Me can look schlubby or I can try and look cute. And Cute Fat Me is definitely an improvement over Schlubby Fat Me.
So this seemingly silly project made me able to see past the fat when I looked at myself…when I *thought* of myself. And I actually had so much fun sharing the images on Instagram that I wanted to keep doing it – and that’s how the idea of this blog was formed. It wasn’t just about the pictures and the positive comments. I’m discovering there is such a strong community of plus-sized women on the internet. It felt good to be part of a group of women who had such self-confidence – who didn’t judge themselves based on their weight but on their abilities and loving hearts and kindness and strengths. It felt empowering to be meeting these kinds of women, and I wanted to “stay in the hood,” so the blog (and the Facebook…and the Instagram!) was created.
And for those who weren’t around for The 30-Day Project…here’s a look back at the photos from the challenge…The Good, The Bad…and The Kinda Ugly, ha. Hey, we all gotta start somewhere!
*caveat: A lot of the clothes “in my closet” are not *my* clothes at all, but are from a plus-sized rental service called Gwynnie Bee. But that’s a subject for another post!
PS: GAH that’s a lot of pictures of me in one place! THAT doesn’t feel weird at all (note: sarcasm).