(Warning: this post is a little venty/whiney. You’ve been warned.)
So, today I tried to pull off a St. Patrick’s Day outfit…I finally have a green dress…but given the “it might be 60 degrees today” forecast, I didn’t want to go with tights/leggings and the usual black booties. I’ve really wanted leopard flats to go with the green dress (and other things), I just haven’t found Just the Right Ones yet…so, at the last minute I put on a pair of dark taupe booties sans tights/leggings and then I felt like…I didn’t want to get up from my desk all day. It just all felt wrong. Too cool still for bare legs (in spite of the optimistic forecast). The little cream shrug looked more “ladylike” to me than the booties did. The leopard flats would have been perfect. But. I don’t have them. So…
It Just All Felt Wrong.
And MAN can that muck up your day!
You know how great it feels when you have a really good hair day? It’s such a confidence boost! When my bangs do what I want them to do, I feel more confident and outgoing – I’ll call a friend to meet for a drink…or actually respond to a message on OkCupid instead of just automatically deleting. I *want* to be In The World.
Today was the opposite of that. And any day when I don’t have all the right pieces.
Isn’t it amazing how “How You Look” has such an impact on How You FEEL?? When we’re always hearing “looks don’t (or shouldn’t!) matter,” they DO. To US.
I’m reading all over the internet about Body Positivity. It sounds so great. Let’s All Feel Good About Ourselves No Matter What We Look Like. That’s a wonderful thing. In theory. In reality though…how many people *really* feel good about themselves no matter what they look like? If cowlicky bangs or the wrong shoes can make me feel so *wrong,* how am I supposed to feel *right* in this lumpy, almost 300lb body???
The Body Positivity Movement is making me feel a little guilty. I’m supposed to love my body no matter what, but….sometimes it’s hard to love. It can make me feel invisible at times…and *painfully* visible at others.
At least when I can get an outfit (or my hair!) Just Right, I at least feel like…given what I have to work with on any given day, I’ve done the best I could. And I can live with that. But when any little thing is wrong, it knocks me back.
What about you? I know there are people who feel good about themselves no matter what – aging, weight gain, greying hair, it has little effect on their self-confidence. Are you one of them? If so, what’s your secret? And if not…feel free to join in my little pity party here today…cuz I hope by tomorrow it’s OVER!