Only Got a Hundred Years to Live

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When I was in my late-30s I had a little pre-mid-life event…I lost about 180 lbs (aka got a divorce) and decided that by 40 I wanted to be the best I’d ever been.

It didn’t quite happen.

In my mid-40s I decided I wanted to be the best I’ve ever been by 50.

I didn’t quite make it.

Are you seeing a trend?

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Now I’m almost FIFTY-SIX and I’m thinking maybe I should start making some effort to be better than I’ve ever been by 60.

SIXTY. It hardly seems possible that I could even BE 60. Grandmothers are 60, knitting in a rocking chair with a purring kitten in their lap and a cup of tea by their side. That’s what 60 looked like when I was young. FORTUNATELY that doesn’t HAVE to be what 60 is and I have no intention of knitting or rocking (in a chair, anyway) at 60.

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I’m feeling very inspired by the women in this article like Linda Rodin and Diane Keaton. And I think I definitely should start coming up with some sort of plan for HOW I’m going to be better…because right now, while “Fabulous at 40” and “Fearless at 50” seem like great plan titles for those decades, the only thing in my head for the next one is “Scared
Shitless to Turn 60” !!!

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I’m already trying to present myself better to the world in some ways – like clothing, and trying (TRYING) to stay on top of hair cut and coloring so I don’t end up again with Crazy Old Lady Hair…but an even bigger (no pun intended) issue is my weight…and not just for weight’s sake, but for two things (for me), 1) fitness and 2) being able to fit into the more readily available clothing sizes. I don’t even mean “straight” (aka Not Plus) sizes, I mean that I’m challenged now to even find clothing that fits me at most plus-size clothing stores or departments. I want to at *least* get down to a solid 3x. It’s been so long since I’ve tried to buy many clothes, it was just now so struggling to build a better wardrobe that I’ve discovered just how out of the readily-available commercial plus sizes I am. And that is very frustrating to me. And fitness – for the sake of being able to do things I like without having to throw in the towel early because I’m exhausted or my hip hurts or I have a pain in my side or my feet hurt or I’m sweating like crazy (I work with someone who at times calls me Sweaty Bettye. I know he means it affectionately, but still.). I LIKE going on walking tours in the city or on art gallery crawls in Brooklyn and for little hikes in the woods with the dog, but sometimes the thought of all that walking puts me off from doing things that I like. And I don’t want to be like that anymore.

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For the record, I’m not talking about losing half my body weight and being THIN. That may be the PC goal, but…I’d rather keep it real and say my goal is to be more comfortable with moving around and to fit more easily into a common size of clothing. I don’t feel it’s about a number, I think I’ll know when I get there…and then I’ll reassess.

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And what does any of that have to do with this dress? Ha. It’s all about transformation and trying new things…and this dress is way more “saucy secretary” than I usually dress, and the dress more form-fitting than I usually wear. Is this The New Me? No, ha. But I gave it a go. Trying new things can sometimes help confirm what you *don’t* want so you know
better what you DO want.

Photography by Linda Asparro Photography.

What I’m wearing:


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4 thoughts on “Only Got a Hundred Years to Live

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