I Was Ghosted

And I gotta tell you, it SUCKS.

I’m not going to go into the whole long ALMOST 40 YEAR on-again-off-again friends/more-than-friends story here. It’s way too long and convoluted and complicated (aren’t they all? Facebook has THAT one right) to try and explain in a blog post. Suffice it to say that I was broken up with on New Year’s Day and I just learned about it TODAY. Well, Wednesday, August 22, 2018 – I’m not sure when I’ll be posting this. I believe I wrote in my New Year’s Day post something about looking forward to the new year and how promising it seemed because I had a special person in my life. Who, unbeknownst to me, was NOT in my life, he just didn’t make it clear. At ALL.

I realize you’re probably thinking, uhm, New Years Day was 7 months (and 2 weeks and 1 day) ago, you haven’t seen or heard from him in all that time, how could you not know?? There are explanations, but suffice it to say he did not SAY he didn’t want to see me anymore, so I did not KNOW he did not want to see me anymore…I thought he just needed a break. I thought sooner or later one of us would reach out and say Okay, Enough, and we’d pick back up where we left off. Cuz that’s sort of what we’ve been doing since 1980. I just kept hoping it would be HIM. So I waited. And waited.

And now I’ve seen him and he told me that what he said that day (1.1.18) MEANT “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore,” even though that is not at ALL what he said. And I’m still in shock that all that time I was waiting to hear from him, he felt we were broken up.

And I’ll be okay, I know that. I just don’t FEEL okay. I feel…really really really REALLY REALLY sad. And hurt.

I’m not feeling very perky right now. And my vacation bucket list is feeling pretty irrelevant. And I just wanted to say something cuz you’ve all been so lovely about wishing me a good vacation and all I feel like doing now is climbing into bed and staying there til I have to go back to work. And there will probably be no normal Friday post (try to not be too crushed). Cuz I just need a little time to watch sad movies, cry and day drink.



36 thoughts on “I Was Ghosted

  1. Ohhh, I’m so very sorry this has happened to you. I’m sad that you’re sad. You are a very special person and it is totally his loss. You don’t need someone like that in your life! Thank you for posting this – we’re your cheering squad and we care about how you feel.

    This will sound trite – and I certainly don’t mean it that way – but remember my cross stitch?! There are many days I have to just take charge and remind myself “I CHOOSE JOY”. No matter what – I choose Joy.

    I pray joy for you!

    Grace & Peace, Iris

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That is a load of bs! I’m so angry for you. I’m sorry this happened to you, especially by someone who you’ve known for so long. Pick up and move on is all you can do, live well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah. I’m starting to feel angry. Putting some pieces together that I never really recognized before.

      I have a shoot this afternoon to distract me (after so many years they STILL make me mad nervous!) but I plan to go to the beach all day tomorrow and just….peace out 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m a new reader of your blog but had to say “WHAT A TOAD!!” (And that might be insulting to an actual toad!) Give yourself a day to grieve, wallow, cry, and whatever you need to do and then get on to having a great vacation!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Gawd! Don’t you hate it when people don’t communicate? Like, they only see it from their perspective and inside their head without actually communicating it and assuming you know what they meant. Frustrating! Goodbye to a bad communicator! Well, I hope this doesn’t ruin your vacation that you were soooo looking forward to and had such a great list for. Take care! Sending hugs your way!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sigh.It *was* a great list, wasn’t it? I lost about a day and a half this week to…all that nonsense…and I’m still very distracted by it, all the thoughts that keep pouring in…but I’m making myself DO. Seeing friends, going exploring, seeing arty things. Got two new “used” tires this morning, don’t recall if that was on the list, but it should have been. CHECK. Look at me, all productive in the face of RIDICULOUSNESS.

      Thanks for the hugs 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh gosh. That’s a nasty surprise. I’m sorry you’re feeling so hurt. It’s a bit like being kicked in the stomach out of the blue, and I’m try sorry that you feel so sad.

    As a dear friend told me once when I was heartbroken, it feels like this sadness will last forever and like there’s no way through, but in two weeks it will be slightly less, in two months it will be significantly less, in a year you’ll be well past it, and in two years it’ll be like it never even felt this bad. Big hugs to you. You’re wonderful!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You would think that being an adult would mean that you behave like one. You know….communication and such. I mean, everyone is allowed to make their own choices, but isn’t it time to respect others and all??
    Sending tons of hugs (and chocolate….because chocolate makes everything better)

    Liked by 2 people

  7. So sorry for you!
    Isn’t it always that men are a bit guttless when it comes to telling the truth?
    I hope after you licked your wounds you can enjoy a bit your so very needed vacation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can agree after almost 60 years on this planet that yes, men can be quick to tweak the truth to protect their own interests. I don’t believe for a minute that he DID break up with me that day. He is now just spinning the situation as he (admittedly) took the easy way out. Thanks for your nice comment 🙂


  8. wow. you have made it through 8 months of 2018 without him. do not let him ruin your vacation!!!! take a day, then get back to living large. i know, easy for me to say… but maybe not.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sadly, not having someone in your life for what you think is a temporary situation is a different thing than not having someone in your life and knowing they will never be back. Life is no different…but my feelings sure are. Sigh. Thanks for your comment 🙂


  9. Let me apologize in advance for the language I am about to use, but it needs to be said. Fuck him, and the horse he rode in on.
    As a veteran of many breakups, ghostings, and general all around fuckery on the part of men, let me give you a prescription for getting over this asshole. Wine, chocolate, ice cream and some time in bed, with ice cream and cake too if you want it. Once you can face the world again, go out and do something that he absolutely HATES. Go see a movie that would make him gnash his teeth. Go to dinner and order something he would not ever order. You get the general idea. Try to do something every day that would piss him off. Sooner or later, you will begin to enjoy doing things you didn’t do while with him, and it will make you feel better.

    Looking forward to seeing you back in action.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. That sucks! Hard. You have lived without him for eight months and it would be easy to say just keep on living that way, but it’s not so easy. Sigh. I’ve always liked the Harry Potter idea of being able to pull specific memories from our brains like little slimy strings. Another sigh.
    If you have the energy, I’d say some beauty pampering might be in order? New clothes, a free makeup session in a luxe store, mani-pedi, going out for brunch with friends, maybe a movie in a real movie theatre. It’s your HOLIDAY! You’ve earned it. Smack him back by having the most fun you can have. Sorry this happened to you.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Hi there. I found you via Emma. Yes I have many things that I rewear a lot and it’s a good thing. It’s good to not be on the consumer band wagon I think. I try to point out quite regularly how old some items are that I’m wearing on my blog, mixed in with the new.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for coming by! I agree, let’s stay off the bandwagon a bit (that said after filming an almost hour-long try-on haul video!). I just need to come up with ways to share these “same old same old” outfit posts without boring people!


  12. Hi, Bettye! Sending hugs from Wild, Wonderful WV (and it REALLY is!). I’m fairly new to your blog; found it through Jodie…LOVE HER. I rarely comment though I could talk all the doo dah day but I had to come back because I’ve been thinking about you since you first posted that you’d been ghosted…hey, I’m a poet..

    At the risk of sounding like a pinhead and an avowed potty mouth, your “friend” can go piss up a rope.( That goes for Etta With The Stupid Comment above, btw). There are hundreds of trite phrases I could throw out but that would only make ME feel better about it cause I said something clever and comforting. In the words of 43…NOT GONNA DO IT. This happened to me ONCE and I was devastated so I know. Having read your incredibly descriptive words for bout a month now, I’ve gotten a glimpse into your life, your world, your heart. All I can offer is the yugest (that’s a word, you know) hug and the offer of friendship. The whole thing sucks worse than date night at Wal-Mart. Please PLEASE take care of yourself. We, your pals from the intrawebs, will circle the wagons and do what we can from where we are. Sending more hugs and special reserve juju your way….and a blessing, too. 😘{(((💚)))} Take care as best you can, my friend somewhere out there.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aww, thanks for thinking of me, Pauli 🙂 Sorry it has happened to you as well. Breaking up is hard enough – let alone without treating one another respectfully and kindly in the process. I still have a whole lotta things swirling around my head and heart but I know I’m going to be okay. I’m just mourning the loss of what was *good* about the relationship.

      Ha ha, date night at Walmart sounds kinda awesome right now. Is that a thing?

      So glad you stopped by…and ps, some of my favorite people are potty mouths (myself included).



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