A mixed week – mixed weather, mixed emotions. Some hard days, some neutral…and maybe some lessons learned.

Autumn rain.

Election Day. A dreary rainy day. I hope that didn’t keep people from getting out and voting.

With the time change, I can just about make it to the harbor before dark for some air and light.

A couple weeks back (or maybe it was just last week) I wrote about feeling like I’m living in a snake pit…and Michelle from Pawprints and Mint commented that “fresh air… getting sunlight does make a difference.” And I thought, well, I do that, I do get sunlight and fresh air every day. And then I realized, that no. No, I don’t. Not anymore. I used to get sunlight and fresh air every day with Caleb. For so many years I was determined that he get out of the house and off the property every day, for his peace of mind…never realizing that it was benefiting mine as well.

And now I just don’t do it. I get out for a little walk around the block once a week, and spend one marathon walking day a week with friends when we go on our local adventures…but there’s no more hours of walking through the woods or around big grassy meadows or along deserted beaches…no more time alone out in nature. Well, not really alone, cuz I was with my best guy. But not with people, and any stresses that can come along with that. But just out in nature, in the fresh air and light with my boy, who gave me so much joy and laughter and companionship and acceptance and love. It’s not just that I miss Caleb, I also miss his ability to get me out. Out of the house, out of my head. 

Once I really realized that this week, that I have been living cooped up – in an office, in an apartment, in myself – I vowed to really make an effort to get OUT more. And it’s hard to do the same things I used to do with Caleb. I never felt worried about walking in deserted areas with him. But I’m a little concerned about doing it now, alone. I need to find some sort of compromise and find ways to deal with the nonsense going on in my head.

That very day I drove straight to the local park after work and forced myself out for a little walk…when what I really wanted to do was to go home alone to the safety of my apartment. And I spoke on the phone to two friends. And I got myself a slice of pizza for dinner. Essentially – a little more time out in the world than usual. And I did feel a little better that night.

Sometimes our adult clients go to a nearby farm for classes or to help out with projects. This week was garlic planting and I went along to take pictures. It was a gorgeous day.

Finally on Sunday I got out for some fun. We went to Socrates Sculpture Park in Astoria, a favorite place of mine with an ever-changing landscape of exhibits.

There was sort of a reuse/recycle theme going on today.

As we were leaving we saw this place right across the street, Chateau le Woof, a doggy coffee shop. Half was for humans – food, coffee, pastries…and half was for dogs, sort of like a mini indoor dog park with benches for their humans to sit and sip their coffee while watching their dogs. We got our drinks and sat on the dog side. I had an Earl Grey tea with steamed oat milk and rosemary syrup. Yum!

Word.

We went to a nearby street art collection called The Welling Court Mural Project, which, like The Bushwick Collective in Brooklyn was supposed to, in a small way, replicate Five-Pointz, a giant street art/graffiti collection that was in Long Island City until a few years ago when the art was all white-washed, the buildings torn down and high-rise condos went up in their place.

Dinner at Studio Nova No5 in Long Island City. Quirky and yummy, a perfect combo!

And last but not least, Spot Dessert Bar in Flushing, Queens, where I had Coconut Monkeybread (wait for it) “served sizzling hot in a tiny cast iron skillet, light and fluffy monkeybread covered in fall spices, thai tea drizzle served with coconut milk ice cream.” Whoa. Next time I look forward to “warm dark chocolate cake filled with green tea ganache, green tea ice cream, chocolate crunchy pearls, cookie crumbs.”

Sadly, in the midst of this fun-filled day, I learned that one of my cousins lost her house in Malibu this weekend to the California fires. She and the children are all right…though her fire-fighter husband has not yet been heard from – let’s hope he’s just busy fighting the fire. But they have lost everything they own, and the children are little: 4, 2 and 1-month. It’s heartbreaking. So many people have lost their homes and all their belongings. If you want to help you can text “redcross” to 90999 to donate $10. I don’t usually do things like this here, but…I’m doing it now.

Hoping for better times ahead for those who are struggling or in pain.

xoxo