I really like the Facebook “Memories” feature, where they pull up and share with you all your posts from previous years on a specific date. It’s fun to look back and see what you did on this date a year ago, two years ago, ten years ago! I find it interesting how many times I have had flat tires on the same date over multiple years. Or snow days at work.

Anyway, I’ve been looking back at old blog posts in that same way – what was I doing/wearing, how was I feeling last year or four years ago at this time? I’m writing this intro on May 31, 2020…and the post below is from May 31, 2019. How funny that I was writing about spending time alone and sitting in stillness at this time last year…when this year, that is what the whole world has been doing!

Enjoy.

Stillness: the absence of movement or sound.

I’ve been finding stillness is something I’m craving more and more. I was never a person who craved sound and action around all the time. I don’t leave the tv or radio on. I love music, but put it on only sparingly.

But when I first really noticed loving stillness was when I was going through radiation two years ago. The treatments were immediately after work, every afternoon for six weeks. So by the time I got home after work and treatment, I was Really Drained. It was April through June, and the weather was just mild enough that I could have a window open and feel a little air movement…and maybe hear some birds…but overall it was quiet and still. And I would lie on my bed, lights out in the shady room, close my eyes and just be still. I wasn’t sleepy, I didn’t fall asleep…but for up to an hour I would just lay atop my cool comforter, quiet. And as much as radiation was an unpleasant experience, it did have this nice element – that I allowed myself time to be still.

After treatments were over and life eventually returned to normal, busyness set in and quiet time was not something I normally allowed myself. I was too “busy.” We’re all busy. Work, school, family, home, friends, side jobs, moving, cleaning, socializing, etc. There’s so much going on in everyone’s life. It’s easy to get caught up and forget there are other ways to be.

Last week I was reminded how much I needed to have times of stillness. I try to meditate several times a week, but really, I’m not very good at it 🙂 Trying to clear my mind of thoughts is like wrestling in jello – those thoughts are slippery suckers and refuse to be tamed. But if I just sit quietly without trying to do ANYTHING…not meditate, not “not think,” just let my mind go where it wants freely with no struggle, then I wind up on the other side feeling better.

I’ve actually passed on “fun” times recently so I could have quiet time with myself…and suffered no FOMO!

And the quiet is helping. But I still need more of it. I feel myself craving it more than anything. More than entertainment, more than company. More than Doritos.

If you’ve been feeling stressed…or exhausted…or overcommitted…you might try finding a little time to just be quiet and still. I know it can be hard if you have family, especially children…and maybe you need to hide out in the bathroom or car…but if you can’t do an hour (I realize in most people’s life that is a luxury), do half an hour. If you can’t do half an hour, do five minutes. If you’re someone who struggles to be alone and still (I see you, Mochi), go for a gentle walk in a park or on the beach, no headphones, just you and your mind.

What’s that saying about making time for meditation (and I equate stillness with meditation), something like, “if you can spend an hour meditating, do an hour…if you can only spend five minutes, really do an hour!” It’s something like that…that if you’re that hard-pressed to find five minutes of peace in your day, then you really need to be making time for it.

I do find great peace in nature. I miss the days of walking with Caleb in the woods. But I still find little spots that are lovely and peaceful, that are a little bit away from the rush of the rest of the world. I’ve shown Peconic River Herb Farm on the blog before. It’s truly one of my favorite places on the Island. I went with a friend on Memorial Day, we wandered around the retail section for a bit, adding plants to the wagon…then we made our way down to the pond, where she tried to get pictures of a bullfrog in the pond…and I found an adirondack chair in the shade with my name on it (FYI: ALL adirondack chairs in the shade have my name on them) for a little siesta.

I just got this top at an Anthropologie in-store sale last weekend and have already worn it twice, I adore it! It’s one of those clever mixed media tops that is pretty, chiffony fabric in the front with a stretchy knit in the back.

Hope you all find some stillness and peace this week.

What I Wore:

  • Anthropologie boho mixed media top size 3x. Sorry to say it’s out of stock online, but I found a couple things with a similar vibe here and here.
  • Gloria Vanderbilt tapered Amanda jeans in Scottsdale wash, size 22W short – GIFTED
  • Aldo espadrilles, sold out. Comparable here and here.
  • A New Day/Target sunglasses. Similar here and here.
  • Beaded bracelets I made

Pictures of me by my bullfrog-photographing friend, Linda. Thanks, Linda!

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