My Body vs. The Retailers

There are many posts out on the interwebz about body positivity and feeling comfortable in your own skin, etc. This applies to all body types, shapes and sizes. This is not purely the domain of the plus size person.

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Mostly, I do feel comfortable in my body. Emotionally comfortable. I don’t feel that I need to be thinner or different to be “better.” I’m neither less nor more than anyone else based on the shape or size of my body. And I’m proud of myself for feeling that way. I know many people struggle with their size, be it bigger or smaller than “the norm.”

7.24.18 –> This seems the perfect spot to interrupt and update this blog post and link to a quote of mine that was featured on SimplyBe, a UK-based plus-size retailer. I’m in the company of some real plus size powerhouses and I was honored to be asked to share a quote about body positivity. I hope you’ll go take a look and comment and wave…

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That said, I don’t always feel physically comfortable. I’m a lot of weight for my body (and joints and feet and knees and hips and heart) to support and carry around. It can be hard to get up, hard to move around, forget about steps or inclines, lordy! And especially after last year, a year of not feeling well and being very sedentary…and then this year when my feet got so painful…I have barely moved, and I am really out of shape.

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I don’t think you need to be “thin” to be “fit.” I know there are plenty of people who disagree with that, but I have seen overweight people run marathons (with no resulting health crises), I have seen fat people doing yoga, weight training, swimming, cycling, and more.

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To the title of this post, I see many debates about the clothing industry and how they’re not meeting the needs of every body out there. Do I think they can do more? Sure. Do I think every clothing line is ever going to accommodate every size and shape out there? Probably not. I’m normally a size 24. I see other women who are size 24 who are shorter or taller than me, have flatter stomachs or wider hips than me, who carry their weight all on the top or all on the bottom…there is no way One Size Will Ever Fit All! There is no way multiple sizes will ever fit all!!!

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And there are factors besides size when it comes to selecting clothing. I know several retailers who carry my size and even higher, and the clothes fit, but I don’t care for the fabrics, colors, or prints they use. Another couple of retailers carry my size and above and I really admire the styles, but the items are priced much higher than my budget allows.

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Can you see where I’m going with this? For any number of reasons, retailers may always fall short of my needs – size, style and budget-wise. And I can’t control that. What I can control is ME. While others may say “it’s not your fault” that clothes don’t fit, and that may be true, the fact of the matter is that if I want more than three tops in my closet <- gross exaggeration for purposes of making a point, *I* can be proactive and not wait around for retailers to cater to me. I know this may be an unpopular opinion in the plus size community, but I can do something about this. If designers can’t make a top to fit my stomach…I can make my stomach smaller to fit their tops. Is this right or fair? Perhaps not. But I would like more clothing selection than is available that fits me. So I can meet them part-way.

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This is my very roundabout way of saying I AM GOING TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT. Ha, how odd is it that in the current environment I feel I need to defend that statement. The world is crazy, yo! But yeah, I have no intention of going nuts with this, but I want to get to a place where clothes shopping is not so frustrating and difficult…and where just getting from Point A to Point B is not so challenging and exhausting. It will not be the focus of this blog, but I’ll let you know from time to time how I’m doing.


Onto the clothes! As serious as my thoughts were this week, my outfit was anything but! I got this fun, bright, easy-breezy Johnny Was top from Gwynnie Bee and I love it! Johnny Was makes beautiful boho-inspired items – tunics and kimonos and dresses, in plus and straight sizes. You’ve seen me in other Johnny Was looks here and here and here. They always make me feel happy, but quite honestly, I could never in a million years afford them! So Gwynnie Bee allows me to rent them to wear and enjoy…and then send back, without the high price tag! If you’re interested in learning more about clothing rental service Gwynnie Bee and getting one month free (!!!), follow this link.

Beyond the beachy tunic, my new Target sunglassesYAY FOR NO MORE SQUINTING (!!!), my long-time fave skinny jeans from Charlotte Russe and Sam Edelman chestnut brown sandals (sold out, similar here) round out the look.

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My sister sent me this cool book called “Brooklyn: A Personal Memoir: With the lost photographs of David Attie” by Truman Capote. I love the black and white photographs of old Brooklyn. It’s sad to see the landscape so modernizing these days. Interesting side note re Truman Capote, my cousin was in the 1967 movie “In Cold Blood” as “young hitchhiker.” He must have been 12 or 13. I’ve actually never seen the movie. Someday.

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What do you think about mainstream sizing and retailers’ responsibilities to their potential customers? I’d love to hear in the comments. 

look a crab collage 5.22.18

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This post contains affiliate links, which means that I may receive a small commission if you click on them and/or buy something as a result of clicking that link.


12 thoughts on “My Body vs. The Retailers

  1. First – good luck getting more fit. Second – love that top. And third – clothing manufacturers. I’m not a plus size, but seem to have the same difficulties that you do. And, I find that in the more pricey clothing I wear a considerably smaller size. It’s like they are trying to appeal to your vanity and thereby increasing the chances of selling their clothes because you can wear a smaller size in their lines. Really annoys me. I understand the better fabric, etc. All that said, I actually wear a wide range of sizes, usually depending on the price of the garment. Wouldn’t it be nice if there were actually a ‘universal’ size so you knew what you were getting.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You raise such a great point….retailers can’t have EVERY size point. It’s virtually impossible to fit everyone.
    And I applaud you for working on you…no matter what size we are, the best thing is feeling good, mentally and physically. It doesn’t matter what size we are, but when the joints and muscles hurt…it’s no fun. We just started taking a stretching class. Even my mom is going. And I’m hoping it helps some of my aches and pains.
    Since my mom is a seamstress…she always talks about how alterations can make a difference. She’s even added panels to an item for me to make something bigger. Of course she also makes her own clothes—but that’s an idea for you (in all your free time…ha ha)
    BTW…I absolutely love that kimono top, Bettye!!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Thank you for addressing the physical discomfort that may be experienced by heavier people. I often feel guilty for acknowledging that my body hurts and that my excess weight DOES make me different to some lighter folks (some of course also have physical discomfort which has nothing to do with size) because I feel that this acknowledgment undermines the body positivity movement. But to deny the reality of living in a larger body would be to make the movement a lie, right? For me, my pain (knees, hips, etc) is directly caused by my weight and like you said – this is separate from my emotional well-being or comfort in myself. So thank you for addressing this. And I want to lose weight with you! I’m ready, but unsure how to go about it. Would love to partner with you if you want a virtual buddy. Either way, I will you all the best.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think you can do whatever you want with your own body and not have to explain it to anyone. Period. I think retailers should not ignore large swaths of the population but for whatever reason, they think it makes good business sense. So, they can do whatever they want with their business. There you go!

    It looks pretty summery in these photos. Are you sure there isn’t snow in the forecast? Best not get too comfortable with those bare feet! I want to see Janey on a harness on a walk with you! That would be so funny! Or maybe a puppy (I can hope!)?

    Well, I have to lose a few pounds or inches myself b/c this winter I gained enough that now I can’t fit into a lot of the clothes I have. I don’t care for dieting but I mostly enjoy exercising though that’s supposedly not the way to lose weight.

    Ugh, I want to think of something happier now so I’m off to find it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, no puppies in my near future. I don’t know if Janey would really like being out in the big wide world. She can be a bit of a scaredy cat. I believe there is no snow in the near forecast. It’s close to 90 right now as I write this at almost 6pm, waiting to meet a friend for dinner. Speaking of dinner, I have never lost weight solely through exercise. I have to think on my plan for this. Will share when I know what the heck I’m doing!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. First of all, that top is probably my favorite thing I’ve ever seen you wear. I love you in it! I completely get what you’re saying about clothing manufacturers. My issue is that I’m short and have a hard time finding pants/shorts/skirts that fit the way I want them to, even within different styles by the same maker. As for losing weight, you gotta do what feels right for you. I lost weight solely because of my knee issues and, even though I still had to get a new left knee, I believe that it has helped with my right knee and other health issues. I find that sticking with the high protein, low carb diet keeps my weight steady and it could be something you might consider when deciding on a weight loss plan.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That top was certainly fun! On the windy beach I felt like a colorful kite!

      In the past, low carb diets have been my most successful weight loss method.

      How is your knee doing since the surgery??


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